Careless Jokes
28 careless jokes and hilarious careless puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about careless that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Learn how to identify and recover from careless jokes made by friends and family. Whether due to neglectful or inconsiderate behaviour, it is important to understand how to handle these situations and how to work together to repair any hurt feelings.
Funniest Careless Short Jokes
Short careless jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The careless humour may include short reckless jokes also.
- A careless hunter accidentally shot my atheist friend in the side with a shotgun. The near-death experience made him a holier man.
- What is the difference between a careless and a careful driver? One is reckless and the other is wreck-less.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- A man was arrested after running a red light and hitting a Chinese food delivery car. He is charged with careless driving and wonton destruction.
- Computers are like women At first you cherish them with all your love. Then, as time goes on you become more careless. Until one day you realize...
*You have a virus* - I work at a grocery store And today I helped a woman out to her car who was so careless she threw a case of beer on her baby. But don't worry the baby is ok, it was light beer.
- George Michael walks into a bar... The barman says, "George, you've got chocolate on your shirt!".
"I know," replies George, "It was a Careless Wispa." - Oh, Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree! My ma can be quite careless with fire sometimes.....
- I had a careless shop teacher in High School... He lost his thumb and ring finger in an accident. What a shocker.
- My friend told me George Michael definitely wasn't dead... But it was just a careless whisper.
Share These Careless Jokes With Friends
Careless One Liners
Which careless one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with careless? I can suggest the ones about irresponsible and careful.
- When a flat-Earther acts carelessly, what is he doing? Living on the edge.
- I'm here with a man who lost his wife earlier today. How careless of him.
- George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them... Careless Swissper
- What's it called when somebody carelessly walks on train tracks? A loco motive
- Autopsy confirms george michael choked on a chocolate bar It was a Careless Whisper
- What do you call a clumsy chocolate bar? Careless Wispa
- What do you call someone who loses their second cousin? Careless.
- What happen to careless Joe who fall into the grinder? He becomes sloppy Joe
- Which Dam was built carelessly? The "I don't give a dam"
- He's not really dead... It was just a Careless Whisper
- George Michael dead. Or it could just be a careless whisper.
- One careless spelling mistake... ... and laughter becomes s**....
- I always write great unit tests Wouldn't want a careless bug to c**... one of my viruses.
Careless Whisper Jokes
Here is a list of funny careless whisper jokes and even better careless whisper puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- George Michael was upset to find he had let a chocolate bar melt in his pocket It was just a careless whisper
Amusing & Witty Careless Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about careless you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean forgetful jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make careless pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So Fred has accidentally cut off John's ear with his s**....
John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his s**... and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is", handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back in the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
Castration
This American guy was sharing his African adventures with his buddies where he had spent a few weeks.One of his buddies asked him what was the weirdest things he witnessed over there.
He replied, in Africa,they castrate the bulls by busting their balls by smashing them together with a BRICK in each hand.
His friend said ouch,that must be quite painful.
He replied,nah not really,unless you are careless and you smash your thumbs.
A child was continually asking his Mom to buy him a hamster.
When she did, the child looked after it for a couple of days, but soon he got bored, and it became the Mom's responsibility to feed it.
One day she got upset with the her son's carelessness and asked him, "How many times do you think this hamster would have died until now, if I wasn't looking after it?"
The child replied, "Um, I don't know. Once?"
Never lie to kids
I make it a point never to lie to my kids. This morning one of them came up to me and asked, "Where do little babies come from?" And I gave him a straight answer: "Sheer carelessness! Sheer carelessness!"
