Following is our collection of funny Career jokes. There are some career employment jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these career profession puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
Trying to get into smaller pants
One day it was nap time and I gained enough nerve to sleep next to her. She didn't do anything. The next day at nap time I decided to kiss her on the forehead and sleep under her blanket. Again, she didn't do anything The next day at nap time I put my ball sack on her face. Let's just say that's the end of my teaching career.
Once when I was at kindergarten, there was this girl I really liked. When she came in the next day, I kissed her on the cheek.
The next day, I kissed her on the lips. The next day, I put my hand under her shirt. And the next day, I put both my hands up her shirt.
Eventually she told her parents.Needless to say, that was the end of my teaching career.
With five minutes left in his class, a philosophy professor decides to talk about his own college experience.
Philosophy is basically a dead-end major. You know where your career is going when you sign up for it. He looks at one student and asks, What would your parents say if you told them you were changing your major to Philosophy.
The student says, They'd be thrilled. See, I am a theater major.
Which would probably explain his short lived career as a boxer.
Singer Neil Diamond started his career as Neil Coal, he changed his name when the pressure got to him.
Choosing a career in which your job is to make people straight again.
All of his colleagues and fellow surgeons are reunited to mourn his. All except for one man who is laughing. The cardiologist's coffin was in the shape of a heart to honor his career. The man continues to laugh. Finally they ask him why he is so happy at a funeral and he responds "I was picturing my funeral because I'm a gynecologist".
Friend 2: No, sold anything yet?
Friend 1: Yes, my watch, my saxophone, and my overcoat.
You can explore career internship reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean career new career dad jokes. There are also career puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
He always loved cars, and because he made so much money, salary really didnt matter to him. He decides to become a mechanic. He approaches his local shop and inquires about a job. "You need to get certified first" says the head mechanic, "ill give you the test myself, in the shop."
The doctor studies day and night and finally feels ready for his practical exam.
He comes in and is asked to fix the transmission and engine of a beaten down, old car.
After the test, he is seated in the office and the head mechanic comes in.
"Congratulations doctor, you scored 150 out of 100 points"
"im confused" the doctor says, "how did i get 150 out of 100"
"well..." the mechanic says "you fixed the engine perfectly, so thats 50. You also fixed the transmission perfectly, for another 50"
"Great! But where did the last 50 come from?"
"I gave you a bonus. You did it all through the exhaust pipe"
It's just something I can see myself doing.
James Bond hits upon hard times and finds himself facing a job seeker interview,
"Well Mr Bond we have two positions we can offer you, one is giving lectures to children on the benefits of a career in military intelligence, and the other is in the fabric staining department of a yarn mill. "
"Do you expect me to talk? "
"No, Mr Bond, I expect you to dye. "
I've finally turned a corner in my career.
Trying to get into smaller pants.
Because her career was in ruins
Because his career is in ruins.
At first, she was upset. Now she says she's ok with it.
because his career was in ruins
Then they fired me for violating the dress code at the bank. Hypocrites. How am I ever going to become a sumo wrestler now?
He did this to many other kids. It went on for about 2 years. Until he left the church to pursue his career in zoology. He just loved teaching kids about animals. What a great man.
And a fireman's job can go up in smoke, can a hooker get laid off?
Then I realized alcohol is a solution.
Adios, amigo.
It really killed my teaching career.
Well then I've got some news for you
It's great being an archaeologist.
It's something I could really see myself doing.
He literally built and ended his own career with his bare hands.
Being a medical professional is like being in a minefield. All it takes is one mistep and you can lose it all. I made a one-time mistake and slept with a patient. A co-worker heard her passionate crys and came to find us in the act. Embarrassing be as it was, I never expected to be the end of my career.
12 years wasted as a veterinarian.
To kill his career.
...is that your career can only go downhill
Drug tests do
... then bomb disposal probably isn't the career for you
His dad responds with 'Government or private sector?'
His career is in ruins.
By trying to get into smaller pants.
Father: "Government or private sector?"
My career has been in ruins
Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't the best career
Maybe a career as a tour guide really wasn't for me.
it's their responsibility to choose whatever medical school they'll graduate from.
For the first couple weeks, I didn't earn much money. Then, I decided to rearrange the meat and the snacks in my store. I started earning lots of money. I knew that I would succeed when the chips were down and the steaks were high.
He took up a new job as a railway construction worker. Talk about a career change, but I guess he just couldn't give up his love for laying tracks.
His driving game.
I broke my hand punching a curb.
I wonder how many people are in that field.
Turns out counter fitting is illegal!
But did he listen?
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "So what do you do?" the bartender chats him up. "Well I used to work in food service, but I just got a new job in IT," the guy says. "How was it changing careers?" the bartender asks. "Well, you know, a job is a job. I guess the biggest difference is that the phase 'My server went down on me,' is no longer a good thing," the guy replies.
Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't the right choice
After about 5 minutes the driver says "Go on then give me a clue!?"
Beckham replies, "I had a glittering career with Man Utd, played over 100 times for England and married a spice girl, is that enough?".
Driver says "No mate, I meant where are you going?"
He led a simple life, loved by family and friends while enjoying a long career as a crop duster. In accordance with his final wishes, his cremated remains will be mixed with water and sprayed over the seashore where he spent his final days. He will be mist.
He tried every type of job there was, from innovation to construction to civil service, and he landed on the job of mirror cleaner.
In his book on the subject, he said that the tai chi like motions of the arms were very relaxing, and the mirror will certainly get dirty again leading to job security.
"I'm as surprised as you are," wrote the vampire. "It was not a job I could see myself doing."
HR: That means your salary will be competing with your bills.
He said, "Wow, this is bad. I've seen some weird assholes in my career but this takes the cake." I replied, "Could you at least wait until I drop my pants?"
but that career went off track.
Field goals
He was a real rapscallion.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice
Because their career lies in ruins.
He laughs and replies: a mailman
(A trans man made this)
I'm afraid I had some breaking news for her
Heard there's a lot of room to move up
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the career occupation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working career eunuch piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.