Career Ending Jokes
36 career ending jokes and hilarious career ending puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about career ending that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Career Ending Short Jokes
Short career ending jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The career ending humour may include short finishing school jokes also.
- Jared from Subway ended his career the same way he began it Trying to get into smaller pants
- What do Logan Paul and the kid from The Sixth Sense have in common? Their careers ended after seeing dead people.
- Louis C.K. is the hardest working comedian in the business He literally built and ended his own career with his bare hands.
- When Kermit the Frogs entertainment career came to an end, he enrolled in seminary school where he was ordained Now he's a Pastor of Muppets
- I'll never forget the time I had to do PE in my underwear after forgetting my shorts. It ended my teaching career there and then.
- Nothing else signifies the end of a beyblade career like a gravestone. It's the last way to... Let it R.I.P.
- I realized today that I really only have two options when it comes to a career path. I'm going to end up in jail or working at Olive Garden. Either way endless salads are getting tossed.
- What are the two possible things that can happen when a ghost writer dies? He becomes a ghost-ghost writer
Or...
Drake's career ends either of the two. - What's the difference between Steve Irwin and Will Smith? A fish tail only ALMOST ended Will Smith's career.
- If you think about it, Jared Fogle's career with Subway ended the same way it began.... he was just trying to fit into some smaller pants.
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Career Ending One Liners
Which career ending one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with career ending? I can suggest the ones about career and new career.
- Rain drop, drop top.... Mariah Carey's career ended before the ball dropped.
- My skateboarding career and Jon Snow have a lot in common. They both ended with an Ollie.
- What did the Olympic runner say at the end of his career? I had a good run.
- I've sometimes wondered how ja rule's career ended Turns out he got fyred.
- What happens to a legend's career when he loses his leg? It ends.
- Which movie star ended their career the fastest? Paul Walker
- What does Tony Romo and JFK have in common? Both of their careers ended in Dallas.
- What must every gymnast go through at the end of their career? The last stretch
Career Ending Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about career ending you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean career day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make career ending pranks.
After listening to some of Whitney Houston's last, raspy performances, it was pretty clear she didn't end her career on "high" note...or did she? Tox report still pending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was this girl I liked in kindergarten..
One day it was nap time and I gained enough nerve to sleep next to her. She didn't do anything. The next day at nap time I decided to kiss her on the forehead and sleep under her blanket. Again, she didn't do anything The next day at nap time I put my b**... on her face. Let's just say that's the end of my teaching career.
Philosophy Major: True story
With five minutes left in his class, a philosophy professor decides to talk about his own college experience.
Philosophy is basically a dead-end major. You know where your career is going when you sign up for it. He looks at one student and asks, What would your parents say if you told them you were changing your major to Philosophy.
The student says, They'd be thrilled. See, I am a theater major.
An elderly gay gentleman has one too many at a bar on the night before Easter
And throwing trepidation to the winds, he stumbles towards home through Central Park. He gets terribly lost on 110th St. and ends up careering into St. John the Divine just as they're beginning midnight mass. The priest is walking up the aisle and swinging the censor when the man runs up to him and hisses, "sweetie, I love the dress, but your *handbag is on fire.*"
Obstetrician career change
An Obstetrician decides that he's sick of his job and opts to become a car mechanic. For the next several months he attends night classes at his local technical college to gain his certification. A few months before the end of the curriculum, the entire class is informed that there will be a final individual exam that will constitute the majority of their grade and determine their certification status.
The day of the exam arrives and the obstetrician walks into the examination room to find three instructors and a car waiting for him. His task is to disassemble the engine, then reassemble it in the given time limit. The obstetrician does his best, though fears that he may have made a few mistakes.
A few weeks later he gets his results back and discovers he was awarded 150 points out of 100 on the test! He immediately rushes to his professor's office and asks about his score. The professor gives him a long look, then says,
"Well, the first 50 points you received were for correctly disassembling the engine, the next 50 points were for reassembling it, and we gave you 50 points of extra credit for doing it all through the muffler."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the s**... bomber?
His career ended just as it was beginning to blow up...
When do you know that your career has gone south?
When you end up moving to South Korea, of course!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My career as a karate instructor finally came to an end.
The parents found out I wasn't qualified and just enjoyed k**... children.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ten years ago I was in elementary school.
I was uncircumcised and a kid noticed while in the bathroom. Later that day, a group of children wanted to see it for themselves, so I pulled it out and showed them. One of them said my pee pee was different and wanted to touch it. Thought "why not?" and they began pulling back my f**... and touching the head. It felt so nice, I was in bliss. My pee pee began to get bigger and one of the girls started screaming. The Dean came in and quickly took everyone away and began to yell at me. Eventually parents were informed about the case.
That was the end of my teaching career.
Had my medical license revoked today.
Being a medical professional is like being in a minefield. All it takes is one mistep and you can lose it all. I made a one-time mistake and slept with a patient. A co-worker heard her passionate crys and came to find us in the act. Embarrassing be as it was, I never expected to be the end of my career.
12 years wasted as a veterinarian.