Care Package Jokes
9 care package jokes and hilarious care package puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about care package that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Care Package Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good care package joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise
I wanted to test this out and Googled "h**... President"
Few days later I received a care package containing ammo
What do you call a pregnant women in the army?
Care package
On the front of my boxer shorts it reads handle with care
I have a fragile package.
Why don't congressional interns care for Christmas?
Because by the end of the year they're pretty tired of seeing surprise packages
What do Kevin Spacey and a mail thief have in common?
If you're not careful they'll grab your package.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Dove Bar's like an 80-pound w**... of chocolate on a toothpick.
If you're not careful when you take it out of the package, you'll snap your wrists.
What is it called when a Sailor in the Navy gets a care package from home?
Underwear Replenishment
A government worker was sitting at his desk at the Capitol...
when he received a package. He opened it, and found that there was an ancient lamp in it. Recalling stories of magic lamps, he rubbed it, and out popped a genie. The genie said, "I will grant you three wishes, but be careful what you wis-"
"Give me a hundred billion dollars!" The man interrupted.
The genie snapped his fingers, and the man was instantly surrounded by stacks of hundred dollar bills.
The man cried, "Bring me to my own private island with hundreds of supermodels!"
The genie snapped his fingers, and there on the island they were. The government worker was thinking of his third wish when he got a text from his boss.
Groaning, the man said to the genie, "I don't want to do any work in my life."
The genie snapped his fingers, and the man was back at his desk.
Tickle me Elmo
There is a factory in Northern Ireland which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning
to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the
little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you
yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.
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