Cardio Jokes

42 cardio jokes and hilarious cardio puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cardio that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out these hilarious cardio jokes that are sure to make your heart beat faster with laughter. Read on to discover the best cardio humor to share with your friends and at your next turbo-charged fitness class. From jokes about overheat to bits about the power of the human heart, everyone will have a heartwarming time!

Funniest Cardio Short Jokes

Short cardio jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cardio humour may include short cardiac jokes also.

  1. My first time in the gym went really well! I did 20 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes on the defibrillator and 3 days in hospital!
  2. Dude explaining how he made his first $10 million: Get up at 5:00AM every day
    90 minutes of cardio
    Take a cold shower
    Schedule out your day
    Dad owns Fortune 500 company
  3. My first workout back at the gym was great. I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital.
  4. Today's workout was great. I did 15 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes of defibrillator, and 3 days in the hospital.
  5. My first day back at the gym today went My first day back at the gym today went well. I did 20 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes on the defibrillator and then 3 days in the hospital.
  6. I've been doing so much cardio that I'm going to have a heart attack And my hearts gonna win.
  7. Some say Boxing and s**... are the best Cardio I can't pick so I just do both at the same time

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Cardio One Liners

Which cardio one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cardio? I can suggest the ones about heart surgery and heart rate.

  1. It's amusing how Americans love Cardi-B ..but hate Cardi-o
  2. Working as a Valet has its perks... You get in a lot of cardio
  3. My bed's a cardio machine It requires two people
  4. What should you do if your car's engine is running slow? Get it to do some CARdio
  5. Why doesn't Cardi B do any exercise? Because if she did she would be Cardio
  6. How did Cardi-B lose weight? Cardi-O
  7. Did you know CardiB has a sister who's into fitness? Her name is CardiO
  8. Know what I call girls who run faster than me? Cardio
  9. What did Road Runner do during cardio? Meep test
  10. Did you know the rapper Cardi B has a sister who is into fitness? She's Cardi-o.
  11. Why couldn't Arnold Schwarzenegger run for president? Because he doesn't do cardio.
  12. Whose excercises will ensure that you will never win a fitness award? Leonardo Di Cardio
  13. I get all my cardio from s**....... That's why I'm so fat.
  14. Possessed by a d**...? Need help? A 30-minute cardio exorcise should do the trick!

Cardio joke, Possessed by a d**...? Need help?

Fun-Filled Cardio Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about cardio you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heart condition jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cardio pranks.

Cardiologist and the Mechanic

A cardiologist's car breaks down and he goes to a mechanic to get it fixed. After everything is done, the mechanic asks the cardiologist,
"Here's what I don't understand. I fix engines, and so do you, albeit human ones, so why do you get paid ten times more than I do?"
The cardiologist then turns the ignition on and says, "try it with the engine running."


A heart surgeon had died and at his funural the coffin was placed above a heart made of flowers. After everyone had said goodbye the coffin was lowered into the heart, during which someone began laughing really loud. 'What is wrong with you?' the person sitting next to the laughing man asked. 'I just thought of my own funural' he replied. 'What's so funny about that?' Still chuckling the man answered: 'Well, you see, I'm a gynaecologist'.

A cardiologist died...

..and was given an elaborate f**.... A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing the doctor inside, forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said: "I'm sorry. I was just thinking of my own f**.....I'm a gynecologist."
The proctologist fainted.

I think my cardiologist is in to me

He said I had acute angina

Dude explaining how he made his first $10 million:

1. Get up at 5:00AM every day
2. 90 minutes of cardio
3. Take a cold shower
4. Journal
5. Schedule out your day
6. Dad owns Fortune 500 company
7. Meditate

A cardiologist was taken into custody after it was found he was using recordings of sick patients in his music.

He was arrested for his sick beats

the cardiologist

if a cardiologist robs a bank, and the police catch him, you are technically allowed to call it cardiac arrest

What's a cardiologists favorite hat?

A Stentson

I went to the cardiologist yesterday

He asked me how I usually spend my days. I told him that I mostly look at pictures of puppies and kitties and think about volunteering at the local animal shelter. He said that I have a big heart. That made me feel really good about myself. Then he said, "Seriously, your heart is retaining water. You need to cut way back on your sodium intake and quit drinking".

Why did the cardiologist sent his patient to gastroscopy?

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

So I went to the cardiologist the other day

And he gave me some good advice...
But I didn't take it to heart.

Why did the cardiologist give Lisinopril to someone that kept beating him at poker?

Because Lisinopril is an ace inhibitor

Just came from the cardiologist..

Said I owe $10,000 and have a year to pay.
I said, ' I've never paid $10,000 in one year for anything.'
He said, 'fair enough, you've got 5 years'.

Cardio joke, What did Road Runner do during cardio?