The Best 33 Cardio Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cardio jokes. There are some cardio ques jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cardio carloss puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cardio Jokes and Puns

Cardiologist and the Mechanic

A cardiologist's car breaks down and he goes to a mechanic to get it fixed. After everything is done, the mechanic asks the cardiologist,

"Here's what I don't understand. I fix engines, and so do you, albeit human ones, so why do you get paid ten times more than I do?"

The cardiologist then turns the ignition on and says, "try it with the engine running."

My first time in the gym went really well!

I did 20 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes on the defibrillator and 3 days in hospital!

It's amusing how Americans love Cardi-B

..but hate Cardi-o

Cardio joke, It's amusing how Americans love Cardi-B

My first workout back at the gym was great.

I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital.


A heart surgeon had died and at his funural the coffin was placed above a heart made of flowers. After everyone had said goodbye the coffin was lowered into the heart, during which someone began laughing really loud. 'What is wrong with you?' the person sitting next to the laughing man asked. 'I just thought of my own funural' he replied. 'What's so funny about that?' Still chuckling the man answered: 'Well, you see, I'm a gynaecologist'.

A cardiologist died...

..and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing the doctor inside, forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said: "I'm sorry. I was just thinking of my own funeral..I'm a gynecologist."
The proctologist fainted.

I think my cardiologist is in to me

He said I had acute angina

Cardio joke, I think my cardiologist is in to me

I get all my cardio from sex....

That's why I'm so fat.

Dude explaining how he made his first $10 million:

1. Get up at 5:00AM every day
2. 90 minutes of cardio
3. Take a cold shower
4. Journal
5. Schedule out your day
6. Dad owns Fortune 500 company
7. Meditate

A cardiologist was taken into custody after it was found he was using recordings of sick patients in his music.

He was arrested for his sick beats

the cardiologist

if a cardiologist robs a bank, and the police catch him, you are technically allowed to call it cardiac arrest

You can explore cardio overheat reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cardio gastrointestinal dad jokes. There are also cardio puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Working as a Valet has its perks...

You get in a lot of cardio

What's a cardiologists favorite hat?

A Stentson

I went to the cardiologist yesterday

He asked me how I usually spend my days. I told him that I mostly look at pictures of puppies and kitties and think about volunteering at the local animal shelter. He said that I have a big heart. That made me feel really good about myself. Then he said, "Seriously, your heart is retaining water. You need to cut way back on your sodium intake and quit drinking".

My bed's a cardio machine

It requires two people

Today's workout was great.

I did 15 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes of defibrillator, and 3 days in the hospital.

Cardio joke, Today's workout was great.

What should you do if your car's engine is running slow?

Get it to do some CARdio

Why doesn't Cardi B do any exercise?

Because if she did she would be Cardio

Why did the cardiologist sent his patient to gastroscopy?

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

So I went to the cardiologist the other day

And he gave me some good advice...

But I didn't take it to heart.

How did Cardi-B lose weight?


Did you know CardiB has a sister who's into fitness?

Her name is CardiO

Why did the cardiologist give Lisinopril to someone that kept beating him at poker?

Because Lisinopril is an ace inhibitor

Just came from the cardiologist..

Said I owe $10,000 and have a year to pay.
I said, ' I've never paid $10,000 in one year for anything.'
He said, 'fair enough, you've got 5 years'.

My first day back at the gym today went

My first day back at the gym today went well. I did 20 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes on the defibrillator and then 3 days in the hospital.

Know what I call girls who run faster than me?


What did Road Runner do during cardio?

Meep test

Some say Boxing and Sex are the best Cardio

I can't pick so I just do both at the same time

What is a cardiologists favorite wine

Vena Cava

I've been doing so much cardio that I'm going to have a heart attack

And my hearts gonna win.

Why did the cardiologist bake a cake with partially hydrogenated oil?

Because he took the hypocritic oath

Possessed by a demon? Need help?

A 30-minute cardio exorcise should do the trick!

My cardiologist is so stupid.

I'm a guy and he asked me if I had "an gina". I said, "Excuse me, but it's supposed to me 'a gina'".

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cardio heart jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cardio workout piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes