The Best 33 Cardinal Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Cardinal jokes. There are some cardinal excellency jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cardinal arizona cardinal puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Cardinal Jokes and Puns
The Pope is sick.
Apparently the Pope resigned because he was sick with bird flu. He got it from a Cardinal.
Four old ladies were sitting together...
The first one says, "My son is a bishop, and when he walks into a room, people say 'Your excellence.'"
The second one says, "Well, my son is a cardinal, and when he walks into a room, people say 'Your eminence.'"
The third lady says, "My son's the Pope, and when he steps into a room, people say 'Your holiness.'"
The fourth woman says, "My son's only a priest, hardly 5 feet but over 300 pounds. And whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Oh my God!'"
What are the four cardinal directions?
Come in
Strip
Sit on my lap
Tell no one.
I'm a really big fan of Cardinal George Pell! I actually have a poster of him on my bedroom wall...
It covers up abuse
Four older men are bragging about their sons
The first says, "My son is a bishop, and when he enters the room people say, Your Excellency".
The second says, "My son is an archbishop, and when he enters the room people say, Your Grace".
The third says, "My son is a cardinal, and when he enters the room people say, Your Eminence".
"My son is 7 feet tall, and 500 pounds," says the fourth man.
"And when he enter the room, people say, 'My God!'"
...told by my parish priest.
Did you hear about the greedy red bird?
It was a cardinal sinner.
What's a the number one cause of death for birds?
Cardinal arrest!
Did you hear that the Pope is in the hospital with the bird flu?
I guess he caught it from a Cardinal.
Four women are bragging about there sons
The first one says "mine is a priest and everyone who sees him says oh my father"
The second woman decides to one up the first and says "so what my sons a cardinal and whenever anyone sees him they say oh holy father
The third one says "my sons the pope and anyone who sees him says oh holy one"
The fourth and last woman thinks for a while before saying "my son is 6'8 and weighs 600 pounds and anyone who's ever seen him says oh my god
I once brought a bird into a Catholic Church during mass
Apparently, it was a cardinal sin.
Did you hear about the Catholic man who brought a bird into a confessional?
He said he had committed a cardinal sin.
You can explore cardinal twenty reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cardinal thirteen dad jokes. There are also cardinal puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The Pope and one of the Cardinals were sitting around doing crossword puzzles.
The Pope says, "Can you think of a four-letter word meaning 'woman' that ends with the letters, U-N-T?"
The Cardinal thinks for a moment. "Why yes, father. That would be 'AUNT'"
The Pope laughs, "YES! Of course! ...ha ha ha..." (pause) "Got an eraser?"
Completely Original Joke About Numbers That I'm Sure Has Never Occurred To Anyone
While I've always been able to count on the cardinal numbers, I find that some of the integers can be negative, but at least they're still rational. But as long as a number can be real with me, I don't care how dense they might be.
A man was found guilty of raping a young boy
I guess you could say that's where he made a cardinal error.
What did the Cardinal cry after being attacked by a predatory bird?
The Cardinal Bald Eagle
What do Cardinal McCarrick and Target have in common?
Boys' pants, half off.
I once met a member of the Catholic faith who could only face North, East, South and West...
His name was Cardinal Directions
What do you call a cardinal who does anything the Pope wants him to do?
A papal pleaser
A Cardinal and a Priest run out of a burning school, the Priest asks: "what about the children"...The Cardinal answers:"Fuck the children" "Do you think we have time?" Asked the Priest.
Why do bishops move on diagonals?
They're not a cardinal.
Did you hear about the high profile conviction of a Cardinal in Australia?
Neither did I...
What did Cardinal Pell say when the Australian Judge asked why his conviction should be suppressed?
He whispered "it will be our little secret".
Chess is blasphemous
Bishops are not allowed to move in a cardinal direction.
Cardinal George Pell has just been convicted of child abuse -
Just goes to show that abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.
Paedophilia
It's a cardinal sin.
What would Cardinal Pell's rapper name be?
Cardi P.
The Pope died and they needed a successor.
They considered Cardinal Sicola, but he was not chosen because they didn't want a Pope Sicola.
The papal elections came down to two contenders:
Cardinal Koch and Cardinal Sea. The votes were tallied and Cardinal Koch won by 1 vote. However, moments later, Koch suffered a massive heart attack.
The Dean came out of the room where they took Koch. He looked at the assembled cardinals. They asked, Will we have Pope Koch? . The Dean shook his head and said, Koch is gone, is Pope Sea ok?
Cardinal Cicola (my late Uncles favorite joke)
Do you know about Cardinal Cicola? He is Pope Francis' right hand man. If one day, something happens to Pope Francis, Cardinal Cicola will become the new Pope.
His name will become Pope Cicola
Four catholic ladies are talking about how important there sons are. (Long)
The first one tells her friends my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'
The second Catholic woman chirps, while my son is a bishop, when he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'
The third Catholic woman says smugly, Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her a subtle well.....?
She replies, My son is a charismatic, 6'2 , hard-bodied male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, My God.
Why can chess Bishops only more diagonally?
Because north, south, east and west are Cardinal directions.
Crossword
The Pope is doing a crossword puzzle at the Vatican. He turns to the Cardinal and asks, What is a word for a woman that ends in 'u-n-t'?
The Cardinal says, Aunt.
The Pope says, Got an eraser?
Did you hear the pope caught bird flu?
He got it from a cardinal.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cardinal forty jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cardinal catholicism piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.