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Cardiac Jokes

63 cardiac jokes and hilarious cardiac puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cardiac that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Tired of dull hospital humor? Get a chuckle out of your next cardiac appointment with our hilarious collection of cardiac jokes! From rib-tickling jokes about cardiac nurses and cardiac surgeons to clever puns about cardiac rhythm and cardiac cath labs, get ready to tickle your funny bone! Don't forget to share your favorites with your cardiologist and fellow cardiac rehab patients!

Funniest Cardiac Short Jokes

Short cardiac jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cardiac humour may include short cardio jokes also.

  1. I used to think that cardiac transplant surgery wasn't for me But then I had a change of heart
  2. Did you hear about the girl who stole my heart? The police placed her under cardiac arrest!
  3. I had a consultation with a cardiac surgeon who has a penchant for stealing patients' organs. It was only my first time meeting him, but I could tell right away that he was a man after my own heart.
  4. The hospital told me I needed a cardiac transplant, and initially I agreed to it. But then I had a change of heart.
  5. the cardiologist if a cardiologist robs a bank, and the police catch him, you are technically allowed to call it cardiac arrest
  6. What did the cardiac surgeon say to his nervous patient? Don't worry, you'll have a change of heart.
  7. Did you hear about the guy selling hearts on the black market? yeah... he ended up getting cardiac arrested.
  8. What starts with a "c", has an "a" in the middle, ends with a "t" and is often associated with old ladies? Cardiac arrest.
  9. You heard about the guy who had a heart-attack when the police entered his house? He had a cardiac arrest
  10. "The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach" ... is apparently not true when you're performing cardiac surgery.

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Cardiac One Liners

Which cardiac one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cardiac? I can suggest the ones about heart surgery and heart condition.

  1. April 1st, officially the worst day of the year to have a cardiac arrest.
  2. A red blood cell was found stealing oxygen... They had to make a cardiac arrest.
  3. Never open up your heart to a cardiac surgeon... Let them do it for you. It's their job.
  4. If a heart was caught committing a crime... Would it be a cardiac arrest?
  5. What was the obese cop's only arrest? A cardiac one.
  6. Tom Petty died yesterday of a cardiac arrest I blame the Heartbreakers
  7. A surgeon just removed my son's cardiac muscle. That's disheartening.
  8. What do you call it when a heart is getting handcuffed? Cardiac arrest
  9. What did the pirate say during cardiac arrest? "Arrrrrhh me hearty!"
  10. Why could the cardiac surgeon not stop giving to charity? He had a good heart
  11. Did you hear about the heart that went to jail? Reporters said it was cardiac arrest.
  12. A heart was caught stealing a Honda I guess you could say he was under cardiac arrest
  13. Did you heard about the cardiac arrest victim? He was shocked when he survived
  14. What happens when somebody steals your heart? They get cardiac arrested
  15. Who is cardiac? And why do they arrest so many people?

Cardiac Arrest Jokes

Here is a list of funny cardiac arrest jokes and even better cardiac arrest puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What happens when a heart attacks someone? They get cardiac arrested.
  • What's it called when a heart goes to jail? Cardiac arrest.
  • I saw a woman suffering cardiac arrest earlier... She asked for me to call her an ambulance.
    I did, but I think she should've asked for help instead.
  • What happens if you steal someone's heart? You go into cardiac arrest.
  • I got struck by lightning And charged with resisting cardiac arrest.
  • Center of Attention Xavier was getting ready to go to a party and said goodbye to his dad.
    His dad said: Remember to be the center of attention at the party son, by faking a cardiac arrest.  
  • One should always have a servant's heart. Because servants are statistically far less likely to suffer from cardiac arrest.
  • A man was in cardiac arrest. After being cleared of all charges, he was cardiac free to go.
  • CardiB wasn't arrested... It's good, no-one wants a Cardi-ac arrest.
  • What do you get for stealing someone's heart? Cardiac arrest

Cardiac Surgeon Jokes

Here is a list of funny cardiac surgeon jokes and even better cardiac surgeon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My dear old grandmother always used to say the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, which is why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon.
  • Cardiac transplant surgeons Really have a heart for their patients.
Cardiac joke, Cardiac transplant surgeons

Cardiac joke, Cardiac transplant surgeons

Hilarious Fun Cardiac Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about cardiac you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heart attack jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cardiac pranks.

Heart jokes

What did one human heart say to the other? I got a heart on
What did one Jamaican heart say to the other? That's a nice beat mon
What is the human hearts favorite kind of shirt? A wife beater
What did the coach say at Heart University? Come on guys let's get pumped
What did the police officer say to the human heart? You're under cardiac arrest
What did the heart say after he was assaulted? Man I sure took a beating

A black person is walking down the road...

When all of a sudden he peels over with a massive throbbing pain in his heart. He grabs his chest and screams in pain. A man sees this and runs to his aid.
"Sir, listen to me, you are going into cardiac arrest." the helpful citizen says.
"But I didn't even do nothing!"

I REMEMBER WHEN MICHAEL JACKSON WAS IN THE CARDIAC WARD FIGHTING HEART FAILURE.

Now they tell me he was in the children's ward having a s**....

A cardiac specialist died and at his f**... the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed.

Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.
The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own f**..." the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist."

Cardiac joke, Why could the cardiac surgeon not stop giving to charity?

jokes about cardiac