The Best 42 Cardiac Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cardiac jokes. There are some cardiac trafficker jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cardiac heart puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cardiac Jokes and Puns

What happens when somebody steals your heart?

They get cardiac arrested

I had a consultation with a cardiac surgeon who has a penchant for stealing patients' organs.

It was only my first time meeting him, but I could tell right away that he was a man after my own heart.

Heart jokes

What did one human heart say to the other? I got a heart on

What did one Jamaican heart say to the other? That's a nice beat mon

What is the human hearts favorite kind of shirt? A wife beater

What did the coach say at Heart University? Come on guys let's get pumped

What did the police officer say to the human heart? You're under cardiac arrest

What did the heart say after he was assaulted? Man I sure took a beating

Cardiac joke, Heart jokes

April 1st, officially the worst day of the year to have a cardiac arrest.

What starts with a "c", has an "a" in the middle, ends with a "t" and is often associated with old ladies?

Cardiac arrest.


I wasn't going to have a cardiac transplant

But then I had a change of heart

You heard about the guy who had a heart-attack when the police entered his house?

He had a cardiac arrest

Cardiac joke, You heard about the guy who had a heart-attack when the police entered his house?

Did you heard about the cardiac arrest victim?

He was shocked when he survived

Why did the heart get sent to police station?

Cardiac arrest.

Cardiac transplant surgeons

Really have a heart for their patients.

Police brutality

Is there any thing that can be done to avoid the fatality rate associated with cardiac arrest? I'm just wondering if anyone can shed some light on the dark side of this problem.

You can explore cardiac ribcage reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cardiac defibrillator dad jokes. There are also cardiac puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I saw a woman suffering cardiac arrest earlier...

She asked for me to call her an ambulance.

I did, but I think she should've asked for help instead.

A surgeon just removed my son's cardiac muscle.

That's disheartening.

Never open up your heart to a cardiac surgeon...

Let them do it for you. It's their job.

The hospital told me I needed a cardiac transplant, and initially I agreed to it.

But then I had a change of heart.

A black person is walking down the road...

When all of a sudden he peels over with a massive throbbing pain in his heart. He grabs his chest and screams in pain. A man sees this and runs to his aid.

"Sir, listen to me, you are going into cardiac arrest." the helpful citizen says.

"But I didn't even do nothing!"

Cardiac joke, A black person is walking down the road...

If a heart was caught committing a crime...

Would it be a cardiac arrest?

What happens if you steal someone's heart?

You go into cardiac arrest.

A red blood cell was found stealing oxygen...

They had to make a cardiac arrest.


Tom Petty died yesterday of a cardiac arrest

I blame the Heartbreakers

"The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach"

... is apparently not true when you're performing cardiac surgery.

A man was in cardiac arrest.

After being cleared of all charges, he was cardiac free to go.

What was the obese cop's only arrest?

A cardiac one.

What happens when a heart attacks someone?

They get cardiac arrested.

I got struck by lightning

And charged with resisting cardiac arrest.

What did the cardiac surgeon say to his nervous patient?

Don't worry, you'll have a change of heart.

How can you tell when you're going into cardiac arrest?

Your heart says: "You have the right to remain silent."

Did you hear about the girl who stole my heart?

The police placed her under cardiac arrest!

What did the pirate say during cardiac arrest?

"Arrrrrhh me hearty!"

I REMEMBER WHEN MICHAEL JACKSON WAS IN THE CARDIAC WARD FIGHTING HEART FAILURE.

Now they tell me he was in the children's ward having a stroke.

the cardiologist

if a cardiologist robs a bank, and the police catch him, you are technically allowed to call it cardiac arrest

One should always have a servant's heart.

Because servants are statistically far less likely to suffer from cardiac arrest.

Who is cardiac?

And why do they arrest so many people?

Center of Attention

Xavier was getting ready to go to a party and said goodbye to his dad.

His dad said: Remember to be the center of attention at the party son, by faking a cardiac arrest.  

What's it called when a heart goes to jail?

Cardiac arrest.

I used to think that cardiac transplant surgery wasn't for me

But then I had a change of heart

A heart was caught stealing a Honda

I guess you could say he was under cardiac arrest

A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed.

Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.
The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist."

Did you hear about the heart that went to jail?

Reporters said it was cardiac arrest.

Did you hear about the guy selling hearts on the black market?

yeah... he ended up getting cardiac arrested.

What do you call it when a heart is getting handcuffed?

Cardiac arrest

Why could the cardiac surgeon not stop giving to charity?

He had a good heart

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cardiac surgery jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cardiac cardiology piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes