The Best 33 Cardiac Arrest Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cardiac Arrest jokes. There are some cardiac arrest jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cardiac arrest puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cardiac Arrest Jokes and Puns

April 1st, officially the worst day of the year to have a cardiac arrest.

A black person is walking down the road...

When all of a sudden he peels over with a massive throbbing pain in his heart. He grabs his chest and screams in pain. A man sees this and runs to his aid.

"Sir, listen to me, you are going into cardiac arrest." the helpful citizen says.

"But I didn't even do nothing!"

Did you hear about the girl who stole my heart?

The police placed her under cardiac arrest!

A red blood cell was found stealing oxygen...

They had to make a cardiac arrest.

the cardiologist

if a cardiologist robs a bank, and the police catch him, you are technically allowed to call it cardiac arrest


If a heart was caught committing a crime...

Would it be a cardiac arrest?

Tom Petty died yesterday of a cardiac arrest

I blame the Heartbreakers

What do you call it when a heart is getting handcuffed?

Cardiac arrest

What was the obese cop's only arrest?

A cardiac one.

What did the pirate say during cardiac arrest?

"Arrrrrhh me hearty!"

Did you hear about the guy selling hearts on the black market?

yeah... he ended up getting cardiac arrested.

You can explore cardiac arrest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cardiac arrest dad jokes. There are also cardiac arrest puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What starts with a "c", has an "a" in the middle, ends with a "t" and is often associated with old ladies?

Cardiac arrest.

You heard about the guy who had a heart-attack when the police entered his house?

He had a cardiac arrest

Did you hear about the heart that went to jail?

Reporters said it was cardiac arrest.

Did you heard about the cardiac arrest victim?

He was shocked when he survived

What happens when somebody steals your heart?

They get cardiac arrested

Who is cardiac?

And why do they arrest so many people?

What happens when a heart attacks someone?

They get cardiac arrested.

What's it called when a heart goes to jail?

Cardiac arrest.


I saw a woman suffering cardiac arrest earlier...

She asked for me to call her an ambulance.

I did, but I think she should've asked for help instead.

What happens if you steal someone's heart?

You go into cardiac arrest.

I got struck by lightning

And charged with resisting cardiac arrest.

Heart jokes

What did one human heart say to the other? I got a heart on

What did one Jamaican heart say to the other? That's a nice beat mon

What is the human hearts favorite kind of shirt? A wife beater

What did the coach say at Heart University? Come on guys let's get pumped

What did the police officer say to the human heart? You're under cardiac arrest

What did the heart say after he was assaulted? Man I sure took a beating

Center of Attention

Xavier was getting ready to go to a party and said goodbye to his dad.

His dad said: Remember to be the center of attention at the party son, by faking a cardiac arrest.  

One should always have a servant's heart.

Because servants are statistically far less likely to suffer from cardiac arrest.

A man was in cardiac arrest.

After being cleared of all charges, he was cardiac free to go.

A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital.



After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead.

The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it.

"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.

What do you get for stealing someone's heart?

Cardiac arrest

How can you tell when you're going into cardiac arrest?

Your heart says: "You have the right to remain silent."

What did the pirate say when he went into cardiac arrest?

#ARRR, ME HEART!

Police brutality

Is there any thing that can be done to avoid the fatality rate associated with cardiac arrest? I'm just wondering if anyone can shed some light on the dark side of this problem.

While getting thrown in jail, my grandma's pacemaker failed.

I guess you could say it was a cardiac arrest for battery.

Why did the heart get sent to police station?

Cardiac arrest.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cardiac arrest jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cardiac arrest piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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