cardi Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious cardi puns

Cardi B and Bill Cosby walk into a bar...

I don't remember the rest.


Cardiologist and the Mechanic

A cardiologist's car breaks down and he goes to a mechanic to get it fixed. After everything is done, the mechanic asks the cardiologist,

"Here's what I don't understand. I fix engines, and so do you, albeit human ones, so why do you get paid ten times more than I do?"

The cardiologist then turns the ignition on and says, "try it with the engine running."



A heart surgeon had died and at his funural the coffin was placed above a heart made of flowers. After everyone had said goodbye the coffin was lowered into the heart, during which someone began laughing really loud. 'What is wrong with you?' the person sitting next to the laughing man asked. 'I just thought of my own funural' he replied. 'What's so funny about that?' Still chuckling the man answered: 'Well, you see, I'm a gynaecologist'.


A cardiologist died...

..and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing the doctor inside, forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said: "I'm sorry. I was just thinking of my own funeral..I'm a gynecologist."
The proctologist fainted.


Cardiologist and Motorcycle mechanic

A motorcycle mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a

Harley-Davidson when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take

a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, 'Hey Doc,

want to take a look at this?' The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over

to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So Doc,

look at this engine. I opened its heart, take the valves out, repair any

damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like


So how come I make $39,700 a year and you make $1,700,000 when you and I are

doing basically the same work?'

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic...

'Try doing it with the engine running'


Those girls that say they want to be like Cardi B

Maybe they should try some Cardi O first


I think my cardiologist is in to me

He said I had acute angina


I get all my cardio from sex....

That's why I'm so fat.


What is Cardi B's athletic sister's name?

Cardi O


What did the cardiac surgeon say to his nervous patient?

Don't worry, you'll have a change of heart.


I just learned Cardi B has a cousin who's really into fitness.

She's called Cardi O


Cardi B's sister released a new song...

Fitnesse by Cardi O


I heard Cardi B has a sister who does a lot of exercise..

Her name is Cardi O


What's the name of Cardi B's long lost sister who 's into fitness?

Cardi O!


So a cardiologist in a small town died

He was very well loved in the town, and every other doctor in the area came to his funeral. At the end they lowered him into the ground in a wondrous mahogany casket, shaped like a heart, lined with red velvet. It was a beautiful affair, but marred by a woman in the front row who couldn't stop laughing. After he was in the ground, she apologized, wiping her eyes, "I'm so sorry, it's just, I'm a gynecologist and I was imagining my own funeral."

Everyone had a good laugh, but then the proctologist fainted.


My friend died when she saw a wild ox wearing a knitted jumper.

It was a Cardi Yak arrest.


What's a cardiologists favorite hat?

A Stentson


After giving birth, how will Cardi B lose weight?

Cardi O


My bed's a cardio machine

It requires two people


So I went to the cardiologist the other day

And he gave me some good advice...

But I didn't take it to heart.


Why did the cardiologist sent his patient to gastroscopy?

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."


How did Cardi-B lose weight?



Cardi B has a twin sister who's into fitness...

Her name is Cardi O


Did you know CardiB has a sister who's into fitness?

Her name is CardiO


Cardi B has a sister who is a surgeon.

Her street name is Cardi AC


Cardi B walked into a bar

And lowered it


What did the Cardinal cry after being attacked by a predatory bird?

The Cardinal Bald Eagle


Cardi B's more athletic, fitter cousin.

Cardi O.


What do Cardinal McCarrick and Target have in common?

Boys' pants, half off.


What do you call an insect that can move honey?

A Cardi B


Just came from the cardiologist..

Said I owe $10,000 and have a year to pay.
I said, ' I've never paid $10,000 in one year for anything.'
He said, 'fair enough, you've got 5 years'.


Cardiac transplant surgeons

Really have a heart for their patients.


Why did the cardiologist give Lisinopril to someone that kept beating him at poker?

Because Lisinopril is an ace inhibitor


My cardiologist is so stupid.

I'm a guy and he asked me if I had "an gina". I said, "Excuse me, but it's supposed to me 'a gina'".


What are the four cardinal directions?

Come in


Sit on my lap

Tell no one.


What are the most funny Cardi jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Cardi? Well, here are the best Cardi dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Cardi pick up lines to share with friends.

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