Cardi Jokes
76 cardi jokes and hilarious cardi puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cardi that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cardi Short Jokes
Short cardi jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cardi humour may include short jacket jokes also.
- Cardi B's sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly They call her 'Cagey B'
- What do you call a sweater that was blown away by the wind? A cardi-gone.
(yes, I made this one up this morning) - Those girls that say they want to be like Cardi B Maybe they should try some Cardi O first
- My daughter just came in from the shops.. She bought two cardigans - both same design but one black and one white. I said "So that's Cardi A and the other one's..." I got a big groan.
- Cardi B's search on Spotify jumped by 750% After Spotify introduced the 'Don't play this artist' option.
- My friend died when she saw a wild ox wearing a knitted jumper. It was a Cardi yak arrest.
- Just received an e.mail stating $50 dollars to see Cardi B. live. I'm probably not the right person to spam for these types of ransoms.
- A original joke. Did you know that cardi B has a famous cousin who's well known in the health department?
Her name is cardi O - 2019 to 2020 is a lot like Nicki Minaj to Cardi B I didn't realize how much I enjoyed 2019 until 2020 happened
- Cardi B walked into a bar And lowered it
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Cardi One Liners
Which cardi one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cardi? I can suggest the ones about sweatshirt and sweater.
- Cardi B and bill Cosby walk into a bar... I don't remember the rest.
- What would Cardi B be called if she decided to live a healthy lifestyle ? Cardi O
- It's amusing how Americans love Cardi-B ..but hate Cardi-o
- What do you call Cardi B exercising? Cardi O.
- Cardi B is a great actor She acts like she can sing and people love her.
- Did you hear about Cardi B's cousin, the fitness instructor? Cardi O.
- What is Cardi B's athletic sister's name? Cardi O
- To raise heart health awareness, Cardi B changes her name... To Cardi O
- Bill Cosby and Cardi B. walk into a bar. Everyone hides their drinks.
- Cardi B's sister released a new song... Fitnesse by Cardi O
- I met Cardi B's sister the other day at the gym! Cardi O
- What exercise does Cardi B do? Cardi O
- What would Cardinal Pell's rapper name be? Cardi P.
- After giving birth, how will Cardi B lose weight? Cardi O
- Why doesn't Cardi B do any exercise? Because if she did she would be Cardio
Hilarious Cardi Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about cardi you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean exercise jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cardi pranks.
Cardiologist
A heart surgeon had died and at his funural the coffin was placed above a heart made of flowers. After everyone had said goodbye the coffin was lowered into the heart, during which someone began laughing really loud. 'What is wrong with you?' the person sitting next to the laughing man asked. 'I just thought of my own funural' he replied. 'What's so funny about that?' Still chuckling the man answered: 'Well, you see, I'm a gynaecologist'.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My cardiologist is so s**....
I'm a guy and he asked me if I had "an gina". I said, "Excuse me, but it's supposed to me 'a gina'".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What are the four cardinal directions?
Come in
s**...
Sit on my lap
Tell no one.
Why did the cardiologist bake a cake with partially hydrogenated oil?
Because he took the hypocritic oath
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I get all my cardio from s**.......
That's why I'm so fat.
I've been doing so much cardio that I'm going to have a heart attack
And my hearts gonna win.
What is a cardiologists favorite wine
Vena Cava
Cardiac transplant surgeons
Really have a heart for their patients.
Just came from the cardiologist..
Said I owe $10,000 and have a year to pay.
I said, ' I've never paid $10,000 in one year for anything.'
He said, 'fair enough, you've got 5 years'.
Cardiologist and the Mechanic
A cardiologist's car breaks down and he goes to a mechanic to get it fixed. After everything is done, the mechanic asks the cardiologist,
"Here's what I don't understand. I fix engines, and so do you, albeit human ones, so why do you get paid ten times more than I do?"
The cardiologist then turns the ignition on and says, "try it with the engine running."
My bed's a cardio machine
It requires two people
Cardi B has a sister who is a surgeon.
Her street name is Cardi AC
What's one part of the workout Cardi B never skips?
Cardi O
These is running shoes.
What's a cardiologists favorite hat?
A Stentson
Why did the cardiologist give Lisinopril to someone that kept beating him at poker?
Because Lisinopril is an ace inhibitor
What did the Cardinal cry after being attacked by a predatory bird?
The Cardinal Bald Eagle
What did the cardiac surgeon say to his nervous patient?
Don't worry, you'll have a change of heart.
What do Cardinal McCarrick and Target have in common?
Boys' pants, half off.
Who does Cardi B credit for her amazing figure?
Cardi O
So I went to the cardiologist the other day
And he gave me some good advice...
But I didn't take it to heart.
I think my cardiologist is in to me
He said I had acute angina
What do you call an insect that can move honey?
A Cardi B
Why did the cardiologist sent his patient to gastroscopy?
"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
Cardi B is attractive but...
her sister Cardi O left me breathless.
How can you tell when you're going into cardiac arrest?
Your heart says: "You have the right to remain silent."
What do you call paper with breast augmentation?
CARDi b
CardiB wasn't arrested...
It's good, no-one wants a Cardi-ac arrest.
Offset needs to leave her alone and just let Cardi.... B
I'll see myself out
Cardi B sounds like
Alvin and the Chipmunks after a few drinks
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cardinal George Pell has just been convicted of child a**... -
Just goes to show that abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.
I went to the cardiologist yesterday
He asked me how I usually spend my days. I told him that I mostly look at pictures of puppies and kitties and think about volunteering at the local animal shelter. He said that I have a big heart. That made me feel really good about myself. Then he said, "Seriously, your heart is retaining water. You need to cut way back on your sodium intake and quit drinking".
the cardiologist
if a cardiologist robs a bank, and the police catch him, you are technically allowed to call it cardiac arrest
Who is cardiac?
And why do they arrest so many people?
Cardinal Cicola (my late Uncles favorite joke)
Do you know about Cardinal Cicola? He is Pope Francis' right hand man. If one day, something happens to Pope Francis, Cardinal Cicola will become the new Pope.
His name will become Pope Cicola
I used to think that cardiac transplant surgery wasn't for me
But then I had a change of heart
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you have the Lady Gaga Oreos?
Customer: Excuse me, do you have new Lady Gaga Oreos?
Employee: I'm sorry, we only have the Cardi B ones.
Customer: What's that like?
Employee: Soggy. It's a wet-a**... cookie.
A cardiologist was taken into custody after it was found he was using recordings of sick patients in his music.
He was arrested for his sick beats
Why could the cardiac surgeon not stop giving to charity?
He had a good heart
