Card Game Jokes

77 card game jokes and hilarious card game puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about card game that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Card Game Short Jokes

Short card game jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The card game humour may include short board game jokes also.

  1. Relationships are like the card game bridge... If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
  2. I found the rulebook for an old card game at my grandfather's house. "Draw a card, if it's black, take a shot."
    Oh wait, that's just the LAPD guidebook.
  3. My wife told Me She wants a divorce because I take our marriage as a game..... So I gave Her an UNO reverse card and now I am the one who wants a divorce.
  4. A dumb blonde, a smart blonde and Santa Claus are playing a card game. Who wins? The dumb blonde does. The other two don't exist.
  5. My wife gave me a get better soon card I'm not sick, she just thinks I really need to step my game up.
  6. I was playing a game of solitaire, but I only had a pack of Tarot cards I actually won, but 4 people died
  7. Game of Thrones Spoiler Joke I heard the Night King just got a hold of one rarest YuGiOh cards
  8. I break out into a cold sweat at the mere thought of a card-based roll-playing game The doctor says I have PTSD&D
  9. I googled "Free Games" and I thought I was feeling lucky.. Guess who's just won a £500 Amazon Gift Card and a 2 weeks holdiay to Fiji?!?!
  10. What's John Lennon's favorite card game? Yoko Uno

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Card Game One Liners

Which card game one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with card game? I can suggest the ones about playing cards and poker game.

  1. New drinking game! Draw a card. If it's black take a shot. I call it the Ferguson
  2. What is Putin's favourite card game? Bridge
  3. Saw a list of the top ten card games Uno is number one
  4. What's a North Korean's Favourite Card Game? Kim Jong Uno
  5. Why can't pirates play any card games? Because someone's always on the deck!
  6. What is a scam artist's favorite card game? Go phish.
  7. What is a suicidal person's favorite card game? Bridge.
  8. Anybody know where I can get a Game of Thrones Valentine's day card? It's for my sister.
  9. Which deck of cards does Professor Oak use for his poker games? His poker decks.
  10. Q: Why couldn't the sailors play cards?
    A: The captain was sitting on the deck.
  11. BILL CLINTON'S FAVORITE CARD GAME Q: What is Bill Clinton's favorite card game?
    A: Poker.
  12. Dictator Who's the dictator who loves playing card games?
    Kim Jong Uno.
  13. Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming?
    He was a card shark.
  14. What's a soundwave's favourite digital card game? Hertzstone
  15. John Quincy Adams is playing a card game ......Andrew a Jack.

Bridge Card Game Jokes

Here is a list of funny bridge card game jokes and even better bridge card game puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's Italy's favourite card game? Bridge

Card Game Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about card game you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean card deck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make card game pranks.

In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game.
The cashier:
- Are you s**...? This isn't real money!
- You're s**.... The car is not real either.

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.

Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me.
I know we’ve been friends a long time, but I just can’t think of your name.
I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it.
Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”

Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.

When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.

Chuck Norris once won a Poker tournament using only Pokemon cards.

Which big cat should you never play cards with?
A cheetah.

Chuck Norris was a pokemon card, until they took it out of the market cause the Chuck Norris card was level infinity.

Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.

A game show host is talking to a rabbit

The host looks at his question card. "Okay, here is your first question: What is 7 plus 5?"
"Twelve", replied the rabbit.
"That's correct! Now for question 2: What is 56 minus 37?"
The rabbit thought for a moment. "Nineteen"
"That's correct! Okay, now here is your grand prize question: How much is 1,297 times 142?"
And without skipping a beat, the rabbit immediately replied, "184,174, what else?"
The host is surprised. "That's correct! But tell me, how did you get the final answer so quickly?"
"Oh, that's easy," said the rabbit. "If there's one thing us rabbits can do, it's multiply!"

Go tell Mrs. Smith . . .

Six retired Floridian men were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Mr. Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up.
At the end of the game, Mr. Jones looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?
They cut the cards. Mr. Miller picks the low card and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.
"Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me."
Mr. Miller goes over to the Smiths' condo and knocks on the door.
Mrs. Smith answers through the door and asks what he wants?
Mr. Miller says: "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is really afraid to come home."
"Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife.
"I'll go tell him." says Mr. Miller.

The three most important things to have in a survival situation.

Every survival kit needs to have three things.
1) A zippo: Trusty lighter to start fires to cook food and keep warm.
2) A good knife: Something to be able to help build a shelter and hunt.
3) A standard deck of playing cards: As soon as you realize you're stranded, deal out a game of solitaire on the ground. About half way through your game, someone will come up behind you and say "That can go there." Boom, you're saved.

Today holds a lot of meaning to me. Today is the 2 year anniversary that I lost my wife and children

I'll never forget that game of cards.

I invented a new game similar to rock paper scissors.

You have 3 cards with a color on one side and white on the other.
You and your opponent choose a card, show it face down (white part), and simultaneously switch it to know the winner.
Every player has 3 cards of 3 different colors, representing some natural elements: Blue, Red and Brown, for Water, Fire and Wood respectively.
Narutally, blue beats red, as water extinguishes fire.
Red beats brown, as fire burns wood.
Brown beats Rihanna.

There's a new drinking game...

You draw a random card from a deck & if it's black you take a shot....
We call it "Ferguson"

Me and bros invented a new drinking game

Draw a card, and if its black, take a shot
we call it Ferguson

Marriage is like a card game.

At first, you have two Hearts and a Diamond, but at the end, you'll want a Club and a s**....

Smart dog

A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!".
The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"

My pull out game is so strong...

When i pull out my yu gi oh cards to duel, you send yourself to the shadow realm.

My marriage is like a game of cards

It started out with two hearts and a diamond, now all I want is a club and a s**....

A man is in a plane c**... and washes up on a deserted island...

He's there for weeks, and is nearly losing hope. Finally one day, a box floats up onto the beach: RESCUE KIT. He's ecstatically excited, thinking he's finally free. But when he opens it up, all there is is a deck of cards. He breaks down sobbing, thinking "How ridiculous! What kind of rescue kit is this!?"
But later he gets bored. He deals out a game of solitaire on a rock and starts playing. Not even two minutes go by when a man is standing behind him. "Hey, put the red 8 on the black 9".

A new card game

It's called the Star of David.
You take out all the cards you don't like, put a star on them, and then you burn them.

A friend of mine hosted a party to help him get over his girl friend dumping him.

Three of us showed up. I brought a deck of cards,and suggested we play a game.
He refused, saying we needed to wait for atleast one more person to show up.
No wonder his girlfriend dumped him. He hated four play.

Marriage is like a game of cards

At first, it's all diamonds and hearts.
Later on, it's a club and a s**....

What game do feminists play?

Female cards.

A marriage is a lot like a card game

In the beginning there's two hearts and a diamond but by the end you're looking for a club and a s**....

My gambling addiction must be getting out of hand because I've just lost my wife in a game of poker...

She said "How could you do such a thing, losing your wife in a s**... card game!?"
I replied, "Sorry honey, it was very hard for me at the time."
She said, "What do you mean?"
I replied, "Well, it wasn't easy, folding when I had four aces."

Marriage is like a card game. You start with two hearts and a diamond...

But in the end you need a club and a s**......

A high school English teacher is doing a lesson on how words modify to make new meanings.

The teacher explained: The word slap can be used as an action, a game, and a joke. You see, slap to the face is an action, slap jack is a card game, and a knee s**... is a joke.
But as you see, words need adjacent words to take on a new meaning. There is no word that can be an action, game and a joke just as it is.
A kid in the back of the room interrupted and asked, what about the word Trump?

A black man kept winning all the poker games at his local casino in Montana... Everyone would always fold when...

...he played the race card!

So a green piece of road walks into the bar...

So a green piece of road walks into the bar... It goes up to the bar and orders a drink, then takes it to a table where two traffic lights are playing a game of cards. The traffic lights take one look at the road and run out! Later the bartender finds them cowering behind the bins outside:
"What on Earth is wrong with you two?" He asks.
"That green piece of road that walked in! He told us he was a cycle path!"

Where do you get a degree in professional card games?

The Unoversity.

The makers of the card game Uno have developed a sequel

They're calling it Dos

We can argue all day about what the best card game is but I think we can all agree...

Uno is number 1

My father, who as a child loved baseball, once told me about a time that his dad broke his favorite baseball bat in half because he came home late one night.

When I was younger, and I loved video games, my dad smashed my Playstation after he found a pack of cigarettes in my room. Now, as a father myself, I told myself I'd never do this to *my* son. My son loves BMX and wants to be in the X-Games. Last night I caught him using my credit card to gamble online. I remembered how it felt when my Playstation was destroyed and that night I broke the cycle.

Marriage is like playing a card game.

In the beginning, two hearts and a diamond are more than enough.
By the end, though, you want a club and a s**....