Carbon Jokes
146 carbon jokes and hilarious carbon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about carbon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover all kinds of jokes related to the carbon element and the ways it affects our lives. Learn about the difference between carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide, and carbon fiber, and the challenges of carbon neutrality. Explore the different phosphorus and oxygen components of carbon, and have fun learning about the new term "carbon dating".
Quick Jump To
- Short Carbon Jokes
- Carbon One Liners
- Carbon Dating Jokes
- Carbon Monoxide Jokes
- Carbon Element Jokes
- Carbon Footprint Jokes
- Carbon Dioxide Jokes
- More Carbon Jokes
Funniest Carbon Short Jokes
Short carbon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The carbon humour may include short chemistry jokes also.
- My carbon monoxide detector won't stop beeping. It's giving me a headache, and dizziness, and nausea.
- I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.
- I've decided to launch a brand new dating app exclusively for Palaeontologists…….. I'm going to call it 'Carbon Dating'
- I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm today The loud beeping was giving me a headache.
- I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector. All the beeping was giving me a headache and making me sleepy.
- I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice. Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
- I recently had a dream that I was swimming in a sea of carbonated orange juice. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea
- I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
- Earth is flat! I mean, when was the last time you came across naturally carbonated ocean water?
- 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors.
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Carbon One Liners
Which carbon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with carbon? I can suggest the ones about coal and atoms.
- The earth is 80% water. None of that water is carbonated. The earth is flat.
- I dream of one day swimming in an ocean of orange carbonated water It's my Fanta sea.
- What animal has exactly 12 grams of carbon? A mole
- What's the dating scene like at MIT? Carbon-14 is the most common method, I believe.
- Yo mama so fat... her carbon footprint turned to diamond.
- What do you call someone with a doctorate in carbonated beverages? A *fizz*ician
- How does carbon dioxide make soda so bubbly? By obeying the laws of fizz-ics.
- My carbon monoxide detector keeps beeping It's really giving me a headache
- The Earth is flat Over 70% of its surface is water, and none of it is carbonated.
- I don't get why some people only drink carbonated water. The alternative is still water.
- Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, and carbon? Because you're AuTiSTiC.
- I don't know what carbon dating is... But I'll try anything at this point.
- I finally found an app for my senior love life!! Carbon Dating <3
- Why Do Most Diamonds Look So Similar? They're all just carbon copies of each other.
- Why were the paleontologists kissing? They were carbon dating
Carbon Dating Jokes
Here is a list of funny carbon dating jokes and even better carbon dating puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner? Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.
- Some people are into carbon dating. It's not for me. I dated carbon once, turns out they made everything up.
- Asked Mother whether it was okay to make fun of her age now. She asked if i even knew how old she was, told her
"No, carbon dating is expensive" - Did you hear they discovered a soda cavemen drank? It's a carbon dated beverage...
Good jokes are good - Me and my new girlfriend are both scientists, archaeologists to be exact... .. we're carbon, dating.
- What do you call a match-making service for realy old people? "Carbon-Dating"
- How would a dinosaur find its mate today ? with carbon dating
- A walkie-talkie invited a lump of coal to dinner and a movie. Classic example of radio-carbon dating.
- Are you a Carbon sample? Because I want to *date* you.
- A walkie talkie invited a lump of coal to dinner and a movie. Radio-carbon dating
Carbon Monoxide Jokes
Here is a list of funny carbon monoxide jokes and even better carbon monoxide puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm... ...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy.
- had to throw out my carbon monoxide detector tonight. All that beeping was giving me a headache and making me dizzy.
- I unplugged my carbon monoxide detector from the wall today All that beeping was giving me headaches and making me feel nauseous
- I wish I knew how to turn off my carbon monoxide alarm.... It's been going off for about fifteen minutes and the noise is making really dizzy and lightheaded.
- I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector The constant beeping gave me a headache and made me feel sick.
- I got rid of my carbon monoxide detector last night The constant beeping was making me feel sick and dizzy.
- I've finally had it with my carbon monoxide detectors. All this beeping has been giving me such a bad headache. I'm going to take the batteries out right away.
- My carbon monoxide alarm went off in the middle of the night It gave me a really bad headache, so I had to turn it off.
- I've just had to take the batteries out of the Carbon Monoxide alarm The loud beeping was giving me a headache and I was starting to feel sick and dizzy
- A coworker made a joke about carbon monoxide poisoning… I told him it was tasteless
Carbon Element Jokes
Here is a list of funny carbon element jokes and even better carbon element puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What sets carbon apart from the other elements? It's the only element with based life forms.
- If I had to pick 3 Elements that summed up my life... They would either be Aluminum, Oxygen and Neon, or they would be Carbon, Radium and Phosphorous.
- I want my favorite bar to change its name to Carbon So when I go there, I'll be in my element.
- Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon. - Why is 2 Phosphorus Oxygen Carbon the greatest rapper from the elements? 2POC
Carbon Footprint Jokes
Here is a list of funny carbon footprint jokes and even better carbon footprint puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I came up with a science joke... Why are people with diamond shoes so bad for the environment?
They have a big carbon footprint... - This sub really likes to watch its carbon footprint I know because it keeps on recycling the same jokes
- These climate change activists need to relax, i don't have a carbon footprint I Just drive everywhere instead
- Be aware of your carbon footprint Next time you have a lightbulb moment, think of a energy efficient led bulb
- I don't have carbon footprints bc I drive everywhere.
- How do you find your escaped barbeque? By the carbon footprint
Carbon Dioxide Jokes
Here is a list of funny carbon dioxide jokes and even better carbon dioxide puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Hope you like Carbon Dioxide.... Cause I'll CO2 you later.....
- I bought a Carbon Dioxide detector and I think it's busted. I can't even breathe without it going off.
- Love is in the air... False. Nitrogen, Oxygen, Argon and Carbon Dioxide is in the air.
- We breathe out a kilogram of carbon dioxide every day. So by that logic, I lose a kilo every day.
Cheerful Carbon Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about carbon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chem jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make carbon pranks.
Some (eye-rolling) Chemistry Pick-up Lines for the Valentine's season
* Are you made of Carbon? Because it feels like my world revolves around you.
* You're my Lithium.
* Are you an anion? Because I'm positive we're meant to be together.
* My heart is made of Gallium. It melts when you're close to me.
* Are you Fluorine? Because i can't seem to get myself away from you.
* My heart burns like a mole of suns for you.
* If I could rearrange the periodic table, I'd put U and I together.
* Who needs Hydrogen if you're my #1?.
* I can feel a bond forming between us.
Any others would be appreciated
Why did the relationship between the creationist and Organic molecule not last ?
Because the creationist did not believe in carbon dating.
What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?
Carbon dating
This is an organic chemistry joke
A dozen carbon atoms walk into a bar. Not eleven carbon atoms or thirteen carbon atoms, but exactly 12. They order eleven glasses of water. Not 12 glasses of water, and not 10 glasses of water, but exactly eleven glasses of water. What did they get?
What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?
Carbon dating.
Did you hear about the new car that instead of using gas, runs on Carbon, Oxygen, Carbon, and Potassium?
It's a real guzzler.
What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?
A! U!!!
If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)
What did the organic chemist use tinder for?
Carbon dating.
You know you're getting old when you go to a new doctor...
...and part of the new patient exam is carbon dating.
Biochemistry joke- I once went carbon dating...
I was arrested because carbon was only 14
Apparently some people on Tumblr say they're s**... attracted to elements on the periodic table.
That's not really my thing ... except for that time in college when I experimented with carbon dating.
Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up?
Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it.
What did the scientist say when he stubbed his toe?
Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium.
I saw a burglar on the CCTV of my elements shop. He was taking gold, iodine, carbon, uranium, platinum, and three bottles of nitric oxide. I said over the tannoy....
'Au, I C U! NO NO NO!'
I didn't mention the Fifth Element because it was so overpriced and overhyped.
I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector.
Didn't want it waking the wife and kids.
Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium
helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"
Why does carbon monoxide smell like
fjbsjko
Chemistry Joke!
Hydrogen and Carbon are walking down the street when they run into each other.
The Carbon says to Hydrogen, "Are you all right? You don't look so good."
"I'm not feeling very well," says the Hydrogen. "I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the Carbon.
"Yeah, I'm positive." says the Hydrogen.
Why are carbon chains with two double bonds so sad?
Because they're diene
What the difference between carbon and my ex?
She could form more than 4 bonds at the same time.
You seem to be a Molybdenum Thorium Erbium Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Erbium
Because you're a real Mo Th Er f**... Er
Did you hear about the guy who has an affinity for burn victims?
I guess you could say he's into carbon dating
What's harvey price's favourite gas?
Carbon Mongoxide
What chemical compound prevails over constant negative press?
Carbon monoxide vanadium di-iron
I just got an all-organic carbon capture plant for my house.
I just call it "a plant" for short.
I took the battery out of my carbon monoxide detector.
It was annoying me with that infernal beeping noise.
People told me to get a carbon monoxide alarm....
But all it's doing is beeping and giving me a headache
Hydrogen and Carbon walk into a bar
Hydrogen: Hey I was thinking about starting a business about electrons and wanted to ask if you wanted to be a partner
Carbon: Sure! I've got nothing to lose!
I changed all my light switches to carbon fiber ones
They make the rooms lighter
When the carbon tax comes into effect, fragrance manufacturers will be upset..
..they will be paying per fume.
Do you have Gold, Titanium, sulfur, and Carbon inside you? If yes.
Then you're
Au t**... S t**... C
What is satan's favourite chemical?
Carbon. because it has 6 protons 6 neutrons and 6 electrons
Why can't creationists ever get girls in rock bands?
They aren't very good at carbon dating.
I tried to ask Google for some good chemistry jokes.
But it just kept returning "Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Oxygen Fluorine Fluorine."
I'm getting tired of my relationship with carbon isotopes -.- it's too complicated.
Time to give up carbon dating.
Why do all of the carbon atoms in benzene get along so well?
They learned to just let pi bonds be pi bonds.
Why were Jim and Martha figuring out how old the fossil was, on their first date?
Because they were Carbon Dating.
This is a little science joke my friend told me.
A 99kg man asks his friend if I eat 1kg of nachos, does that make me 1%nacho.? The friend replied to that
Well the human body is made up of sodium, oxygen, carbon and hydrogen. So that practically makes us 100% NaCHO
A new carbonated beverage mimics the sounds of a human voice when you pour it out of the bottle.
or out of the can, soda speak.
Carbon and Helium were having a conversation.
Carbon: And then I said, Barium!
Osmium walks into the room.
What's so funny guys?
Carbon whispers to Helium: Don't tell him. He's too dense to get it.
I've been experimenting with iron, carbon, and aluminum to make a better toilet. I'm going to write a whitepaper on my results.
It's titled The f**... Matter.
What is the relationship between an old fossil and a paleontologist called?
Carbon Dating
A chemist fell in love with an archeologist
They're now carbon dating.
How did the two archaeologists fall in love
Carbon dating.
What do you call an organic compound in which a hydroxyl is bound to a carbon atom of an alkyl??
See? Sometimes alcohol IS the answer!!
My chemistry teacher wrote me a heartfelt chemistry poem:
Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, Potassium, Yttrium, Oxygen, Uranium.
Without telling my wife, I bought a gaming pc for my son as a birthday gift. Check out the specs: Intel Core i7 10700K, MSI MPG Z490 Gaming Carbon WiFi, Nvidia GeForce RTX 2080 Super, G.Skill TridentZ RGB 4x16 DDR4-4000, Samsung 970 Evo 1TB, Corsair RM850x, Cooler Master MasterLiquid ML240R RGB
He is turning one tomorrow.
A woman answered her front doo
A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list.
"Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar."
"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?"
"My babysitter's boyfriend."
A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list.
"Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar.""Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?""My babysitter's boyfriend."
I would have made a joke about carbon dating...
...but it would have gotten old very quickly.
