Carbon Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

My carbon monoxide detector won't stop beeping.

It's giving me a headache, and dizziness, and nausea.

I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector.

The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm today

The loud beeping was giving me a headache.

I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector.

All the beeping was giving me a headache and making me sleepy.

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today

The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...

I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors.

Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium

Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"

What animal has exactly 12 grams of carbon?

A mole

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm...

...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy.

Yo mama so fat...

her carbon footprint turned to diamond.

I had to turn off my carbon monoxide detector...

...The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.

I unplugged my carbon monoxide detector from the wall today

All that beeping was giving me headaches and making me feel nauseous

Do you have Gold, Titanium, sulfur, and Carbon inside you? If yes.

Then you're

Au Ti S Ti C

I came up with a science joke...

Why are people with diamond shoes so bad for the environment?

They have a big carbon footprint...

I wish I knew how to turn off my carbon monoxide alarm....

It's been going off for about fifteen minutes and the noise is making really dizzy and lightheaded.

My carbon monoxide detector keeps beeping

It's really giving me a headache

Some people are into carbon dating.

It's not for me. I dated carbon once, turns out they made everything up.

Chemistry Joke!

Hydrogen and Carbon are walking down the street when they run into each other.

The Carbon says to Hydrogen, "Are you all right? You don't look so good."

"I'm not feeling very well," says the Hydrogen. "I lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the Carbon.

"Yeah, I'm positive." says the Hydrogen.

I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector

The constant beeping gave me a headache and made me feel sick.

Wow, carbon dating has improved in recent years!

A museum visitor was admiring a Tyrannosaurus fossil, and asked a nearby museum employee how old it was. "That skeleton's sixty-five million and three years, two months and eighteen days old," the employee replied.

"How can you know it that well?" she asked.

"Well, when I started working here, I asked a scientist the exact same question, and he said it was sixty-five million years oldβ€”and that was three years, two months and eighteen days ago."

Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, and carbon?

Because you're AuTiSTiC.

I don't know what carbon dating is...

But I'll try anything at this point.

Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up?

Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it.

An old couple visits the Natural History Museum.

An old couple visits the Natural History Museum and walks over to a large dinosaur skeleton on display.

"How old is this particular skeleton?" the old man asks one of the curators

"Well this one is 65 million years, 14 weeks and 3 days old" she replies

"Wow that's very specific, was that determined through carbon dating or some other method?" asks the old lady

"Actually, when I started working here they told me it was 65 million years old. That was 14 weeks and 3 days ago." the curator happily explains

I got rid of my carbon monoxide detector last night

The constant beeping was making me feel sick and dizzy.

I finally found an app for my senior love life!!

Carbon Dating <3

I just took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm

The loud beeping was giving me a raging headache and was making me feel sick and dizzy

Did you hear they discovered a soda cavemen drank?

It's a carbon dated beverage...

Good jokes are good

Me and my new girlfriend are both scientists, archaeologists to be exact...

.. we're carbon, dating.

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!!

If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)

How would a dinosaur find its mate today ?

with carbon dating

I tried to ask Google for some good chemistry jokes.

But it just kept returning "Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Oxygen Fluorine Fluorine."

Are you a Carbon sample?

Because I want to *date* you.

My carbon monoxide alarm went off in the middle of the night

It gave me a really bad headache, so I had to turn it off.

What did the organic chemist use tinder for?

Carbon dating.

I've just had to take the batteries out of the Carbon Monoxide alarm

The loud beeping was giving me a headache and I was starting to feel sick and dizzy

A new carbonated beverage mimics the sounds of a human voice when you pour it out of the bottle.

or out of the can, soda speak.

What the difference between carbon and my ex?

She could form more than 4 bonds at the same time.

Museum Security

There was a man who was an aspiring archaeologist and he was curious about dinosaurs and fossils. He went to a museum and saw a giant fossil skeleton of a T-Rex, but he didn't know the age, however. He asked the security guard nearby Hey do you know how old that dinosaur fossil is? The security guard replied 65 million and 3 years old! The man was intrigued by the age of the fossil but confused . How do you know it's exactly 65 million and 3 years old?, that seems very specific for carbon dating to me! The security guard replied Well, it was 65 million years old when I first started working here, 3 years ago.

Carbon and Helium were having a conversation.

Carbon: And then I said, Barium!

Osmium walks into the room.

What's so funny guys?

Carbon whispers to Helium: Don't tell him. He's too dense to get it.

A coworker made a joke about carbon monoxide poisoning…

I told him it was tasteless

What is satan's favourite chemical?

Carbon. because it has 6 protons 6 neutrons and 6 electrons

Some (eye-rolling) Chemistry Pick-up Lines for the Valentine's season

* Are you made of Carbon? Because it feels like my world revolves around you.
* You're my Lithium.
* Are you an anion? Because I'm positive we're meant to be together.
* My heart is made of Gallium. It melts when you're close to me.
* Are you Fluorine? Because i can't seem to get myself away from you.
* My heart burns like a mole of suns for you.
* If I could rearrange the periodic table, I'd put U and I together.
* Who needs Hydrogen if you're my #1?.
* I can feel a bond forming between us.

Any others would be appreciated

Apparently some people on Tumblr say they're sexually attracted to elements on the periodic table.

That's not really my thing ... except for that time in college when I experimented with carbon dating.

What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?

Carbon dating

Why do all of the carbon atoms in benzene get along so well?

They learned to just let pi bonds be pi bonds.

Why can't creationists ever get girls in rock bands?

They aren't very good at carbon dating.

This is a little science joke my friend told me.

A 99kg man asks his friend if I eat 1kg of nachos, does that make me 1%nacho.? The friend replied to that
Well the human body is made up of sodium, oxygen, carbon and hydrogen. So that practically makes us 100% NaCHO

Did you hear about the guy who has an affinity for burn victims?

I guess you could say he's into carbon dating

You seem to be a Molybdenum Thorium Erbium Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Erbium

Because you're a real Mo Th Er F U C K Er

I saw a burglar on the CCTV of my elements shop. He was taking gold, iodine, carbon, uranium, platinum, and three bottles of nitric oxide. I said over the tannoy....

'Au, I C U! NO NO NO!'

I didn't mention the Fifth Element because it was so overpriced and overhyped.

I changed all my light switches to carbon fiber ones

They make the rooms lighter

I've been experimenting with iron, carbon, and aluminum to make a better toilet. I'm going to write a whitepaper on my results.

It's titled The FeCAl Matter.

I just got an all-organic carbon capture plant for my house.

I just call it "a plant" for short.

People told me to get a carbon monoxide alarm....

But all it's doing is beeping and giving me a headache

Hydrogen and Carbon walk into a bar

Hydrogen: Hey I was thinking about starting a business about electrons and wanted to ask if you wanted to be a partner

Carbon: Sure! I've got nothing to lose!

Biochemistry joke- I once went carbon dating...

I was arrested because carbon was only 14

What's Harvey Price's favourite gas?

Carbon Mongoxide

You know you're getting old when you go to a new doctor...

...and part of the new patient exam is carbon dating.

I took the battery out of my carbon monoxide detector.

It was annoying me with that infernal beeping noise.

Why does carbon monoxide smell like


If I had to pick 3 Elements that summed up my life...

They would either be Aluminum, Oxygen and Neon, or they would be Carbon, Radium and Phosphorous.

When the carbon tax comes into effect, fragrance manufacturers will be upset..

..they will be paying per fume.

I want my favorite bar to change its name to Carbon

So when I go there, I'll be in my element.

What is the relationship between an old fossil and a paleontologist called?

Carbon Dating

Why are carbon chains with two double bonds so sad?

Because they're diene

What chemical compound prevails over constant negative press?

Carbon monoxide vanadium di-iron

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

What did the scientist say when he stubbed his toe?

Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium.

Why were Jim and Martha figuring out how old the fossil was, on their first date?

Because they were Carbon Dating.

I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector.

Didn't want it waking the wife and kids.

Did you hear about the new car that instead of using gas, runs on Carbon, Oxygen, Carbon, and Potassium?

It's a real guzzler.

If we are made of oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, and nitrogen.

And the universe is made up of primarily oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, and nitrogen.Is this why I'm so spaced out?

Why did the relationship between the creationist and Organic molecule not last ?

Because the creationist did not believe in carbon dating.

I'm getting tired of my relationship with carbon isotopes -.- it's too complicated.

Time to give up carbon dating.

What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

Carbon dating.

There are alkynes of different carbon bonds

And if you excuse me, I'll go and alkyl myself now

Did anyone hear about the fossils down the block?

I heard they started carbon dating.

What's the longest carbon side chain known to man?

A Pteradactyl

Hope you like Carbon Dioxide....

Cause I'll CO2 you later.....

What are the funniest carbon jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Carbon? Well, here are the best Carbon puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Carbon pick up lines to share with friends.

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