The Best 80 Carbon Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Carbon jokes. There are some carbon thorium jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these carbon methane puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Carbon Jokes and Puns

Me and my new girlfriend are both scientists, archaeologists to be exact...

.. we're carbon, dating.

What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?

Carbon dating

Did you hear they discovered a soda cavemen drank?

It's a carbon dated beverage...

Good jokes are good

Carbon joke, Did you hear they discovered a soda cavemen drank?

Are you a Carbon sample?

Because I want to *date* you.

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!!

If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)


What did the organic chemist use tinder for?

Carbon dating.

You know you're getting old when you go to a new doctor...

...and part of the new patient exam is carbon dating.

Carbon joke, You know you're getting old when you go to a new doctor...

Biochemistry joke- I once went carbon dating...

I was arrested because carbon was only 14

How would a dinosaur find its mate today ?

with carbon dating

Yo mama so fat...

her carbon footprint turned to diamond.

What animal has exactly 12 grams of carbon?

A mole

You can explore carbon oxygen reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean carbon alloy dad jokes. There are also carbon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Apparently some people on Tumblr say they're sexually attracted to elements on the periodic table.

That's not really my thing ... except for that time in college when I experimented with carbon dating.

Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up?

Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it.

I saw a burglar on the CCTV of my elements shop. He was taking gold, iodine, carbon, uranium, platinum, and three bottles of nitric oxide. I said over the tannoy....

'Au, I C U! NO NO NO!'

I didn't mention the Fifth Element because it was so overpriced and overhyped.

I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector.

The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today

The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.

Carbon joke, I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today

Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium

Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"

Why does carbon monoxide smell like

fjbsjko

I've just had to take the batteries out of the Carbon Monoxide alarm

The loud beeping was giving me a headache and I was starting to feel sick and dizzy


Chemistry Joke!

Hydrogen and Carbon are walking down the street when they run into each other.

The Carbon says to Hydrogen, "Are you all right? You don't look so good."

"I'm not feeling very well," says the Hydrogen. "I lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the Carbon.

"Yeah, I'm positive." says the Hydrogen.

Why are carbon chains with two double bonds so sad?

Because they're diene

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm...

...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy.

I unplugged my carbon monoxide detector from the wall today

All that beeping was giving me headaches and making me feel nauseous

I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector.

All the beeping was giving me a headache and making me sleepy.

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...

I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors.

What the difference between carbon and my ex?

She could form more than 4 bonds at the same time.

Some people are into carbon dating.

It's not for me. I dated carbon once, turns out they made everything up.

I came up with a science joke...

Why are people with diamond shoes so bad for the environment?

They have a big carbon footprint...

I want my favorite bar to change its name to Carbon

So when I go there, I'll be in my element.

If I had to pick 3 Elements that summed up my life...

They would either be Aluminum, Oxygen and Neon, or they would be Carbon, Radium and Phosphorous.

You seem to be a Molybdenum Thorium Erbium Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Erbium

Because you're a real Mo Th Er F U C K Er

Did you hear about the guy who has an affinity for burn victims?

I guess you could say he's into carbon dating

What's Harvey Price's favourite gas?

Carbon Mongoxide

I don't know what carbon dating is...

But I'll try anything at this point.

What chemical compound prevails over constant negative press?

Carbon monoxide vanadium di-iron

I just got an all-organic carbon capture plant for my house.

I just call it "a plant" for short.

I took the battery out of my carbon monoxide detector.

It was annoying me with that infernal beeping noise.

People told me to get a carbon monoxide alarm....

But all it's doing is beeping and giving me a headache

I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector

The constant beeping gave me a headache and made me feel sick.

My carbon monoxide alarm went off in the middle of the night

It gave me a really bad headache, so I had to turn it off.

Hydrogen and Carbon walk into a bar

Hydrogen: Hey I was thinking about starting a business about electrons and wanted to ask if you wanted to be a partner

Carbon: Sure! I've got nothing to lose!

I changed all my light switches to carbon fiber ones

They make the rooms lighter

When the carbon tax comes into effect, fragrance manufacturers will be upset..

..they will be paying per fume.

Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, and carbon?

Because you're AuTiSTiC.

My carbon monoxide detector keeps beeping

It's really giving me a headache

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm today

The loud beeping was giving me a headache.

I wish I knew how to turn off my carbon monoxide alarm....

It's been going off for about fifteen minutes and the noise is making really dizzy and lightheaded.

Do you have Gold, Titanium, sulfur, and Carbon inside you? If yes.

Then you're

Au Ti S Ti C

A coworker made a joke about carbon monoxide poisoning…

I told him it was tasteless

What is satan's favourite chemical?

Carbon. because it has 6 protons 6 neutrons and 6 electrons

Why can't creationists ever get girls in rock bands?

They aren't very good at carbon dating.

I tried to ask Google for some good chemistry jokes.

But it just kept returning "Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Oxygen Fluorine Fluorine."

I got rid of my carbon monoxide detector last night

The constant beeping was making me feel sick and dizzy.

My carbon monoxide detector won't stop beeping.

It's giving me a headache, and dizziness, and nausea.

Why do all of the carbon atoms in benzene get along so well?

They learned to just let pi bonds be pi bonds.

I finally found an app for my senior love life!!

Carbon Dating <3

This is a little science joke my friend told me.

A 99kg man asks his friend if I eat 1kg of nachos, does that make me 1%nacho.? The friend replied to that
Well the human body is made up of sodium, oxygen, carbon and hydrogen. So that practically makes us 100% NaCHO

A new carbonated beverage mimics the sounds of a human voice when you pour it out of the bottle.

or out of the can, soda speak.

Carbon and Helium were having a conversation.

Carbon: And then I said, Barium!

Osmium walks into the room.

What's so funny guys?

Carbon whispers to Helium: Don't tell him. He's too dense to get it.

I've been experimenting with iron, carbon, and aluminum to make a better toilet. I'm going to write a whitepaper on my results.

It's titled The FeCAl Matter.

What is the relationship between an old fossil and a paleontologist called?

Carbon Dating

How did the two archaeologists fall in love

Carbon dating.

What do you call an organic compound in which a hydroxyl is bound to a carbon atom of an alkyl??

See? Sometimes alcohol IS the answer!!

My chemistry teacher wrote me a heartfelt chemistry poem:

Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, Potassium, Yttrium, Oxygen, Uranium.

Without telling my wife, I bought a gaming pc for my son as a birthday gift. Check out the specs: Intel Core i7 10700K, MSI MPG Z490 Gaming Carbon WiFi, Nvidia GeForce RTX 2080 Super, G.Skill TridentZ RGB 4x16 DDR4-4000, Samsung 970 Evo 1TB, Corsair RM850x, Cooler Master MasterLiquid ML240R RGB

He is turning one tomorrow.

I've finally had it with my carbon monoxide detectors.

All this beeping has been giving me such a bad headache. I'm going to take the batteries out right away.

A woman answered her front doo

A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list.
"Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar."
"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?"
"My babysitter's boyfriend."

A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list.

"Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar.""Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?""My babysitter's boyfriend."

This sub really likes to watch its carbon footprint

I know because it keeps on recycling the same jokes

Why were the paleontologists kissing?

They were carbon dating

Why Do Most Diamonds Look So Similar?

They're all just carbon copies of each other.

I would have made a joke about carbon dating...

...but it would have gotten old very quickly.

I was carbon-dating a dinosaur the other day, trying to figure out what era it was from

Upon closer inspection, I realised that it didn't have the 3 anuses I was expecting, so I ruled out the Triassic period

I really have no idea what carbon dating is...

But, I'll try anything at this point.

Asked Mother whether it was okay to make fun of her age now.

She asked if i even knew how old she was, told her

"No, carbon dating is expensive"

had to throw out my carbon monoxide detector tonight.

All that beeping was giving me a headache and making me dizzy.

Yo mama so old,

She goes on carbon dates.

Did you hear that you can buy iron and carbon for the price of just 1 alloy?

What a steel!

A couple is taking a tour through the Natural History Museum. They ask the tour guide: "How old is this dinosaur skeleton?"

He replies: "It is sixty five million and fourteen years and three months old."

"Wow! It's amazing that you can tell this precise. How do you do that? Is it with carbon dating?"

"I don't know" says the guide. "But when I first came here they told me it was sixty five million years old. And I started here fourteen years and three months ago."

How does carbon dioxide make soda so bubbly?

By obeying the laws of fizz-ics.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the carbon einsteinium jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working carbon periodic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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