The Best 43 Car Wash Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Car Wash jokes. There are some car wash carmen jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these car wash wipers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Car Wash Jokes and Puns
Me and the rain are waiting...
I'm waiting for rain to come so that I can wash my car. On the other hand the rain is waiting for me to wash my car.
How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car?
One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.
Unexpected car wash...
So a guy in a pick up truck goes to a car wash, after a few minutes he gets waved in and starts to drive away. He looks back and sees a Spanish guy drying his rear window in the bed of his truck. He freaks out, swerves and a cop who sees all of this pulls him over. While the cop is walking up to the cab of the truck, the truck driver says "no one is going to believe this!" The Spanish guy looks up and says "NO! Juan will believe this!!!"
Girl said that she would do anything for 5$
guess who just got their car washed.
A father says to his blonde, teenage daughter one day "honey I thought I asked you to wash the car like 10 times today"...
She replies "I swear I was going to, but I called a hundred different places and nobody has this Elbow Grease that you told me to use !!"
Happy ending massages don't count as cheating...
Women pay to have their cars washed for the same reasons. It takes too long, my arm gets tired, and I get my gym shorts all wet.
Saw a sign at a gas station earlier that said "car wash out of order."
So I waxed my car, sprayed it with water and then applied soap.
Graveyard shortcut
A man's car breaks down in the middle of the night. He knows the area well and realizes that the quickest way to the nearest service station is through an old graveyard.
He's walking along the headstones when in the distance he hears a faint tapping noise. As he gets deeper into the graveyard, the eerie tapping gets louder and louder. He very anxiously turns a corner and sees the source of the tapping is an old man with a hammer and chisel, hunched over a headstone.
Relief washes over him and he says, "I was beginning to freak out because of that noise. I thought this place might have been haunted. What on earth are you doing here so late at night anyway?"
The old man merely continues chiseling and says "They spelled my name wrong."
A prostitute said she would do anything for 10 dollars.
Look who just got his car washed. THIS GUY!
A man goes to a mental hospital to visit his elderly mother...
when upon entering, he sees a man making beeping noises and waving his arms around. "what are you doing?", he asks.
"I'm driving a car. Can't you see?"
"Actually, you're in a mental hospital and your car doesn't exi-"
Then suddenly someone shouted out "Don't tell him! I get $20 by washing his car!"
Driving Down The Street
I was driving down the street when i saw a black man with a tv, i thought to myself hmm that looks just like mine but when i got home mine was still there washing my car like i told him to.
You can explore car wash skids reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean car wash brake dad jokes. There are also car wash puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A man goes to war and his wife vows to not wash at all untill he returns!
Ten years later, he returns and his wife meets him at the airport.
After they get in a car the wife asks:
"Whats wrong? You haven't spoken a word since you came"
and the husband replies:
"I'm waiting for you to fart so I can catch some air"
It was pretty funny when I was s kid!
Just got my free yearly car wash
Thanks California!
My wife said she wouldn't have sex with me until I did everything on the "To-Do list"
So I scratched out **#1** "*Wash the car*" and replaced it with "*Have a three-some with Becky and Wife*"
*washing car with son*
Son: can't you just use a sponge
One day a dad was washing the car with his son.
The son said, "dad, can't You just use a sponge?"
The dad said "no son this builds character."
A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks:
"Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
How many blondes does it take to wash a car?
Two. One to hold the sponge, and one to drive the car back and forth.
How to change the blinker fluid in your car or truck:
STEP ONE: wear safety glasses! If you get any fluid in your eye, it will cause uncontrollable blinking until you wash it out.
A New Car
A rabbi and a minister decided to buy a new car together. The day after they bought it, the rabbi found the minister driving it. The minister explained that he had just gone to the car wash because in his religion it is customary to welcome a new member with the rite of baptism. The next day, the minister discovered the rabbi cutting the end off the exhaust pipe
My dalmatian got away from me and ran through a car wash.
Now he's spotless.
I was washing my car with my friend.
He asked if I could use a sponge instead.
Got approached by a prostitute today who said she would do anything for $10
Guess who just got their car washed?
A man is washing his car with his son...
...after a while the boy says to his Father Dad, why can't we just use a sponge?
Washing your own car is like wanking.
I'd rather do it myself than have a guy do it in the car park of a mall.
I was washing my car with my friend...
when my dad came outside and asked "Why don't you just use a sponge?"
Dad washing a car with his son...
Both of of them using a sponge because that is what you're supposed to wash with and having a good time.
I'm buying my wife golf shoes for Christmas. She doesn't golf...
But she does wash my car and the driveway gets a little icy in the winter.
A man is washing his car with his son.
His son looks at him and says,
Dad...Why can't you use a sponge?
A father is washing the car with his son
After a moment the son asks his father: "do you think we could use a sponge instead?"
[LPT] When you're being chased by the cops, make a clean getaway by
Driving through a car wash.
A man is washing his car with his son, when the boy says...
"Dad, can't you use the sponge?"
I washed the car with my 5 year old son today.
When we finished, he said, Next time dad, can you use a sponge?
Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son.
He said: 'dad, can't you just use a sponge?'
Me: *washing car with son*
Son: Dad, can't you just use the sponge?
In the 80's we used to think in 2020 we'll have flying cars cities on other planets, blah blah blah....
But No! Here we are, teaching people how to wash hands !!!
A Dad is washing the car with his son
The son asked "why can't you use a sponge?"
A man is washing his car with his son.
Son: Dad, can't you use a sponge?
A father was washing his car with his son
And the son says, dad, can't you use a sponge?
I'm turning my washing machine into a car.
Can't wait to take it for a spin.
I was washing the car with my son yesterday
He kept shouting, 'Mum, stop! Why can't you use a sponge!' 😀
You've got 10 minutes...
My wife (38F) caught the dreaded virus, so it fell to me (39M) to take all the kids to get tested.
I gave them a 10 minute warning while I got my wife a coffee. After 10 minutes (okay it was probably at least 15), I called out to the kids "if you haven't already, can you please grab your shoes and get ready to head to the car..."
I grabbed my own shoes, finished my own coffee, took it to the kitchen, and as I washed it called out "is anyone not ready yet?"
_(no response)_
(louder) **"Okay, how about this then - who _IS_ ready?"**
_my eldest son (13M):_ "um, no one's ready"
#"what!? I gave you all at least 20 minutes!! What is happening!?"
_my eldest son:_ "Well, I'm David, he's John, she's Chloe"
...
and I don't know if I've been so proud to be a dad before
A dad washes his car with his son.
Son-dad why can't you use a sponge
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the car wash carla jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working car wash roadside piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.