Car Wash Jokes

60 car wash jokes and hilarious car wash puns to laugh out loud. Read places jokes about car wash that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of funny car wash jokes. From silly puns to short one-liners, we've got jokes that will clean up your sense of humor!

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Funniest Car Wash Short Jokes

Short car wash jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The car wash humour may include short washing car jokes also.

  1. A man is washing his car with his son... ...after a while the boy says to his Father Dad, why can't we just use a sponge?
  2. I washed the car with my 5 year old son today. When we finished, he said, Next time dad, can you use a sponge?
  3. I was washing the car with my son yesterday He kept shouting, 'Mum, stop! Why can't you use a sponge!' 😀
  4. A man is washing his car with his son. His son looks at him and says,
    Dad...Why can't you use a sponge?
  5. One day a dad was washing the car with his son. The son said, "dad, can't You just use a sponge?"
    The dad said "no son this builds character."
  6. A man is washing his car with his son Says the son: Dad, wouldn't it be better if you use a sponge next time?
  7. A dad was washing his car with his son. "Why can't you use a towel or sponge like other people?" asked the son.
  8. How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car? One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.
  9. A man is washing his car with his son, when the boy says... "Dad, can't you use the sponge?"
  10. In the 80's we used to think in 2020 we'll have flying cars cities on other planets, blah blah blah.... But No! Here we are, teaching people how to wash hands !!!

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Car Wash One Liners

Which car wash one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with car wash? I can suggest the ones about car detailing and hand wash.

  1. A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks: "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
  2. A Dad is washing the car with his son The son asked "why can't you use a sponge?"
  3. A man is washing his car with his son. Son: Dad, can't you use a sponge?
  4. Me: *washing car with son* Son: Dad, can't you just use the sponge?
  5. A father was washing his car with his son And the son says, dad, can't you use a sponge?
  6. I was washing my car with my friend. He asked if I could use a sponge instead.
  7. My dalmatian got away from me and ran through a car wash. Now he's spotless.
  8. A dad washes his car with his son. Son-dad why can't you use a sponge
  9. I'm turning my washing machine into a car. Can't wait to take it for a spin.
  10. Girl said that she would do anything for 5$ guess who just got their car washed.
  11. Just got my free yearly car wash Thanks California!
  12. [LPT] When you're being chased by the cops, make a clean getaway by Driving through a car wash.
  13. *washing car with son* Son: can't you just use a sponge
  14. What type of car does a washed up celebrity drive? A Mercedes Has-Benz
  15. I was washing a car with my friend Until they said can't you just use a sponge

Car Wash joke, I was washing a car with my friend

Heartwarming Car Wash Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about car wash you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car repair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make car wash pranks.

Me and the rain are waiting...

I'm waiting for rain to come so that I can wash my car. On the other hand the rain is waiting for me to wash my car.

I can't get into Breaking Bad because I have trouble remembering all the little facts. For example: the name of Walter's boss at the car wash.

I just need to stop getting Bogdan in the details.

Unexpected car wash...

So a guy in a pick up truck goes to a car wash, after a few minutes he gets waved in and starts to drive away. He looks back and sees a Spanish guy drying his rear window in the bed of his truck. He freaks out, swerves and a cop who sees all of this pulls him over. While the cop is walking up to the cab of the truck, the truck driver says "no one is going to believe this!" The Spanish guy looks up and says "NO! Juan will believe this!!!"

A father says to his blonde, teenage daughter one day "honey I thought I asked you to wash the car like 10 times today"...

She replies "I swear I was going to, but I called a hundred different places and nobody has this Elbow Grease that you told me to use !!"

Happy ending massages don't count as cheating...

Women pay to have their cars washed for the same reasons. It takes too long, my arm gets tired, and I get my gym shorts all wet.

Saw a sign at a gas station earlier that said "car wash out of order."

So I waxed my car, sprayed it with water and then applied soap.

Graveyard shortcut

A man's car breaks down in the middle of the night. He knows the area well and realizes that the quickest way to the nearest service station is through an old graveyard.
He's walking along the headstones when in the distance he hears a faint tapping noise. As he gets deeper into the graveyard, the eerie tapping gets louder and louder. He very anxiously turns a corner and sees the source of the tapping is an old man with a hammer and chisel, hunched over a headstone.
Relief washes over him and he says, "I was beginning to freak out because of that noise. I thought this place might have been haunted. What on earth are you doing here so late at night anyway?"
The old man merely continues chiseling and says "They spelled my name wrong."

A p**... said she would do anything for 10 dollars.

Look who just got his car washed. THIS GUY!

A man goes to a mental hospital to visit his elderly mother...

when upon entering, he sees a man making beeping noises and waving his arms around. "what are you doing?", he asks.
"I'm driving a car. Can't you see?"
"Actually, you're in a mental hospital and your car doesn't exi-"
Then suddenly someone shouted out "Don't tell him! I get $20 by washing his car!"

Driving Down The Street

I was driving down the street when i saw a black man with a tv, i thought to myself hmm that looks just like mine but when i got home mine was still there washing my car like i told him to.

A man goes to war and his wife vows to not wash at all untill he returns!

Ten years later, he returns and his wife meets him at the airport.
After they get in a car the wife asks:
"Whats wrong? You haven't spoken a word since you came"
and the husband replies:
"I'm waiting for you to f**... so I can catch some air"
It was pretty funny when I was s kid!

How many blondes does it take to wash a car?

Two. One to hold the sponge, and one to drive the car back and forth.

How to change the blinker fluid in your car or truck:

STEP ONE: wear safety glasses! If you get any fluid in your eye, it will cause uncontrollable blinking until you wash it out.

A New Car

A rabbi and a minister decided to buy a new car together. The day after they bought it, the rabbi found the minister driving it. The minister explained that he had just gone to the car wash because in his religion it is customary to welcome a new member with the rite of baptism. The next day, the minister discovered the rabbi cutting the end off the exhaust pipe

Got approached by a p**... today who said she would do anything for $10

Guess who just got their car washed?

Washing your own car is like w**....

I'd rather do it myself than have a guy do it in the car park of a mall.

I was washing my car with my friend...

when my dad came outside and asked "Why don't you just use a sponge?"

I'm buying my wife golf shoes for Christmas. She doesn't golf...

But she does wash my car and the driveway gets a little icy in the winter.

A father is washing the car with his son

After a moment the son asks his father: "do you think we could use a sponge instead?"

Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son.

He said: 'dad, can't you just use a sponge?'

You've got 10 minutes...

My wife (38F) caught the dreaded virus, so it fell to me (39M) to take all the kids to get tested.
I gave them a 10 minute warning while I got my wife a coffee. After 10 minutes (okay it was probably at least 15), I called out to the kids "if you haven't already, can you please grab your shoes and get ready to head to the car..."
I grabbed my own shoes, finished my own coffee, took it to the kitchen, and as I washed it called out "is anyone not ready yet?"
_(no response)_
(louder) **"Okay, how about this then - who _IS_ ready?"**
_my eldest son (13M):_ "um, no one's ready"
#"what!? I gave you all at least 20 minutes!! What is happening!?"
_my eldest son:_ "Well, I'm David, he's John, she's Chloe"
and I don't know if I've been so proud to be a dad before

I used to work in a car wash, but I wasn't very productive.

In hindsight, it probably wasn't the most practical place for a painter.

Car Wash joke, A man is washing his car with his son

jokes about car wash