Following is our collection of funny Car Wash jokes. There are some car wash carmen jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these car wash wipers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I'm waiting for rain to come so that I can wash my car. On the other hand the rain is waiting for me to wash my car.
One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.
So a guy in a pick up truck goes to a car wash, after a few minutes he gets waved in and starts to drive away. He looks back and sees a Spanish guy drying his rear window in the bed of his truck. He freaks out, swerves and a cop who sees all of this pulls him over. While the cop is walking up to the cab of the truck, the truck driver says "no one is going to believe this!" The Spanish guy looks up and says "NO! Juan will believe this!!!"
guess who just got their car washed.
She replies "I swear I was going to, but I called a hundred different places and nobody has this Elbow Grease that you told me to use !!"
Women pay to have their cars washed for the same reasons. It takes too long, my arm gets tired, and I get my gym shorts all wet.
So I waxed my car, sprayed it with water and then applied soap.
A man's car breaks down in the middle of the night. He knows the area well and realizes that the quickest way to the nearest service station is through an old graveyard.
He's walking along the headstones when in the distance he hears a faint tapping noise. As he gets deeper into the graveyard, the eerie tapping gets louder and louder. He very anxiously turns a corner and sees the source of the tapping is an old man with a hammer and chisel, hunched over a headstone.
Relief washes over him and he says, "I was beginning to freak out because of that noise. I thought this place might have been haunted. What on earth are you doing here so late at night anyway?"
The old man merely continues chiseling and says "They spelled my name wrong."
Look who just got his car washed. THIS GUY!
when upon entering, he sees a man making beeping noises and waving his arms around. "what are you doing?", he asks.
"I'm driving a car. Can't you see?"
"Actually, you're in a mental hospital and your car doesn't exi-"
Then suddenly someone shouted out "Don't tell him! I get $20 by washing his car!"
I was driving down the street when i saw a black man with a tv, i thought to myself hmm that looks just like mine but when i got home mine was still there washing my car like i told him to.
You can explore car wash skids reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean car wash brake dad jokes. There are also car wash puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Ten years later, he returns and his wife meets him at the airport.
After they get in a car the wife asks:
"Whats wrong? You haven't spoken a word since you came"
and the husband replies:
"I'm waiting for you to fart so I can catch some air"
It was pretty funny when I was s kid!
Thanks California!
So I scratched out **#1** "*Wash the car*" and replaced it with "*Have a three-some with Becky and Wife*"
Son: can't you just use a sponge
The son said, "dad, can't You just use a sponge?"
The dad said "no son this builds character."
"Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
Two. One to hold the sponge, and one to drive the car back and forth.
STEP ONE: wear safety glasses! If you get any fluid in your eye, it will cause uncontrollable blinking until you wash it out.
A rabbi and a minister decided to buy a new car together. The day after they bought it, the rabbi found the minister driving it. The minister explained that he had just gone to the car wash because in his religion it is customary to welcome a new member with the rite of baptism. The next day, the minister discovered the rabbi cutting the end off the exhaust pipe
Now he's spotless.
He asked if I could use a sponge instead.
Guess who just got their car washed?
...after a while the boy says to his Father Dad, why can't we just use a sponge?
I'd rather do it myself than have a guy do it in the car park of a mall.
when my dad came outside and asked "Why don't you just use a sponge?"
Both of of them using a sponge because that is what you're supposed to wash with and having a good time.
But she does wash my car and the driveway gets a little icy in the winter.
His son looks at him and says,
Dad...Why can't you use a sponge?
After a moment the son asks his father: "do you think we could use a sponge instead?"
Driving through a car wash.
"Dad, can't you use the sponge?"
When we finished, he said, Next time dad, can you use a sponge?
He said: 'dad, can't you just use a sponge?'
Son: Dad, can't you just use the sponge?
But No! Here we are, teaching people how to wash hands !!!
The son asked "why can't you use a sponge?"
Son: Dad, can't you use a sponge?
And the son says, dad, can't you use a sponge?
Can't wait to take it for a spin.
He kept shouting, 'Mum, stop! Why can't you use a sponge!' 😀
My wife (38F) caught the dreaded virus, so it fell to me (39M) to take all the kids to get tested.
I gave them a 10 minute warning while I got my wife a coffee. After 10 minutes (okay it was probably at least 15), I called out to the kids "if you haven't already, can you please grab your shoes and get ready to head to the car..."
I grabbed my own shoes, finished my own coffee, took it to the kitchen, and as I washed it called out "is anyone not ready yet?"
_(no response)_
(louder) **"Okay, how about this then - who _IS_ ready?"**
_my eldest son (13M):_ "um, no one's ready"
#"what!? I gave you all at least 20 minutes!! What is happening!?"
_my eldest son:_ "Well, I'm David, he's John, she's Chloe"
...
and I don't know if I've been so proud to be a dad before
Son-dad why can't you use a sponge
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the car wash carla jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working car wash roadside piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.