Car Thief Jokes

22 car thief jokes and hilarious car thief puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about car thief that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Car Thief Short Jokes

Short car thief jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The car thief humour may include short car theft jokes also.

  1. A Serial Killer, Car Thief and Russian Spy walks into a bar And that was just the first guy
  2. My car got stolen yesterday !! I thought of calling the cops but then realized it was better not to call them and let the car thief take care of the dead bodies in my trunk.
  3. What do you get when you cross a black and asian man? (slightly racist) A car thief that can't drive.
  4. A car thief hijacked a Tesla, but didn't get very far. He surrendered the vehicle to avoid battery charges.
  5. What is it called when a thief steals a purse, runs into the street, then gets run over? *Car*ma

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Car Thief One Liners

Which car thief one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with car thief? I can suggest the ones about stolen car and police and thief.

  1. What do you call an art thief's getaway car? A van go.
  2. Police car loses wheels to thief! Cops are working tirelessly to nab suspect
  3. What does a car thief do when he's tired? He takes a brake.
  4. What do you call a thief that steals car tires? Vulcanized robber.
  5. What do you call a Japanese car thief? Tommy Tukamoto
  6. What do you get if you cross a swede and a gypsy? A car thief who can't drive.

Car Thief Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about car thief you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car chase jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make car thief pranks.

Two guys are walking in a rough neighborhood...

Two guys are walking in a rough neighborhood when someone jumps out from behind a car, pulls out a p**..., and demands, "Give me your wallets, NOW!"
The guys, pretty much expecting this, sigh and pull out their wallets. o**... opens his wallet and shows the thief that he had no cash and no credit cards.
The other guy opens his and grabs a bill, handing it to his friend. "Oh, hey, here's the $20 I owe you."

A car thief gets brought before the judge

Judge: Why did you steel the car?
Thief: I had to get to work.
Judge: And why didn't you take the bus instead?
Thief: I've got no licence for driving a bus.

A cop pulled a car over, with a driver that matched a description of a thief. Turns out the guy was not too smart.

The cop had a basic description of the thief, but seeing the matching tattoo, would seal this guys fate. The tattoo would be located on the guys forearm.
The cop says, "show me your forearms"
The driver looks confused
The cop gets louder, "show me your forearms!!"
The driver looks confused, and says, "I only have two"

New trick thief racket

Im just here to warn you, about this gang.
They appear on parking areas in front of supermarkets.
Seems like at the moment often at walmart.
2 very cute 18 - 20 year old girls will start to wash your car while you put your groceries in. They have barely clothes on, so you could see their underwear and even more.
If you offer money, they will say no and ask you if you instead can give them a ride to another supermarket. If you agree they get on your backseat and will start having s**... with each other while you drive. After a while they try to involve you. While one kisses you, the 2nd will steal your wallet.
Just wanted to tell you: Take care!
I got robbed this way on monday, tuesday, wednesday, twice on thursday and on saturday.

Thread idea: Submit your non-US / Canadian / UK jokes and explain them.

My German friend told me this joke back in college (only makes sense if you're in Germany when you tell it).
>"Why did the Russian thief steal *two* cars?"
>"Because he had to drive back through Poland!"
(the racial stereotype being that Germans consider both Russians and Polish to be notorious crooks)
Anyways if you have some kind of racial / cultural joke that might be unfamiliar to english speakers, let's hear it! (and explain it for us if necessary)