Car Theft Jokes
10 car theft jokes and hilarious car theft puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about car theft that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Car Theft Jokes With Friends
Car Theft Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good car theft joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A black guy was pulled over in his mercedes by the police. It was found that it was his, it was taxed and insured...
He had no drugs on him and no weapons were found in the car. The car was NOT linked to any drive by shootings or any drive off petrol thefts.
In the end they arrested him for "wasting police time".
I was playing grand theft auto 5 when all of a sudden it crashes and an error message pops up
It read unfortunately the game is corrupted and the data will be deleted feeling sad and annoying with my 100s of hours lost I looked up online as to why it happened. I found a guide that said if you restart the game on the same console and go to the nearest garage and talk to the guy who's working on the car it can fix it. I did just that and it restored my old saves!
Thank god for that game mechanic
Someone broke into my car and stole my speakers.
It was grand theft audio.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call white people pushing a car up a hill?
w**....
What do you call asian people pushing a car up a hill?
Asian power.
What do you call mexicans pushing a car up a hill?
Grand theft auto.
GRAND THEFT AUTO
A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
If a 12 year old in Africa steals a sports car do they call it a joy ride? Grand theft?
Or a midlife crisis?
What do you call it when two big polish guy's push a car?
Grand theft Auto
So I stopped a car theft the other day
Apparently I stole the car and stopped it into a tree.
What is Captain Kirk's least favorite 20th century car theft movie?
Gorn in 60 Seconds
Useless in the Parking Lot
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter.
When returning to her car she found that she had locked herkeys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter.
She didn't know what to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened and that she did not know what to do. The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse.
She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car.
Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."
So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.
The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.
The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the car was opened.
She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank you so much! You are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."
The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God!
"You even sent me a Professional!"
Share These Car Theft Jokes With Friends