The Best 35 Car Salesman Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Car Salesman jokes. There are some car salesman vehicle jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these car salesman car puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Car Salesman Jokes and Puns

My first day as a car salesman...

Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?

A snail walks into a car dealership...

And he asks the salesman about car customization. He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds:

"Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go!'"

me: will this car fit 5 people?

**salesman:** yeah, without any problems.

**me:** damn! my homies have lots of those

Mr Snail was always being teased by the insects

for being so slow. Eventually, he just couldn't take it anymore and went to the nearest car dealership.

"I want the fastest sports car you have," he told the salesman, "and make sure to paint a huge 'S' on it, so everyone will know its Mr Snail's car!"

So now, every time Mr Snail drives past the insects, speeding like a maniac, all the insects look and say: "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!"

Arrested at the airport

I'm a car salesman going to New York for the unveiling of the new Porsche 911 model

When i landed in New York the TSA asked me are you here for business or pleasure
I responded I'm here for the new 911


A snail walks into a car dealership...

A snail walks into a car dealership. The snail wants something fast, elegant, and luxurious, after browsing multiple brands he decides on one.

The rich snail pays in cash and walks up to the dealerships salesman and says "I want you to paint big S's all along this car, big S's on the front, the sides, the back, the top, big S's everywhere. The auto body guy tells him he can do it, but can't help but ask the snail why he wants big S's all over the car.

So the snail answers him "It's simple: When I launch past people on the highway they will say Look at that S car go!

Bought a Russian car...

The salesman said it was the krem de la kremlin, but every time it's putin gear, it keeps stalin. My wife said, "Crimea river, I'm not lenin you my car!"

The wife and I were at the car dealership the other day...

I told the salesman that we were looking for a Subaru Outback then he hit me with a

*"What's wrong with the ones Outfront?"*

At that point I was prepared to offer him full sticker price for whatever because anything less would've been a disservice.

A Venezuelan man goes to buy a car.

The car salesman says, you can pick it up in four years time.

The man asks, in the morning or the afternoon?

Salesman: does it matter?

Man: well the plumber is coming in the afternoon...

A man goes to buy a Christmas Tree...

... After the salesman rings him up and helps him strap it to the car, he asks, "were you planning on putting this up yourself?" to which the man responds, "Actually, I was thinking of putting it in the living room."

Homemade and 100% organic

Since it's my cake day, I'll give y'all a joke that I created by myself. One that tickles me.

Two car salesman were talking to each other about their sales. They were really impressed with the commissions they were making with electric cars. Then, one of them asked, "Why doesn't Dodge sell any electric vehicles?". The other salesman said, "That would be dumb. If they sold electric vehicles, they would have to give away a free Dodge Charger with each purchase!"

You can explore car salesman chevy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean car salesman driver dad jokes. There are also car salesman puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man goes to buy his wife a car...

The salesman ask him "why don't you buy her a Kaiser and surprise her?"

The man rejects the idea, so the salesman says "why don't you buy her a Fraiser and amaze her?"

The man thinks for a second, and says "nah, I'll just buy her a Tucker."

What's the difference between a car salesman and a technology salesman?

The car salesman knows he is lying.

I had an interview for a position as a car salesman.

The interviewer handed me his laptop and said, Here, sell this to me.
I took the laptop and stuck it in my bag and left. Three hours later he called and asked for his laptop back. I said, You want to buy it back?

[while new car shopping] Customer: "Cargo space?"

Salesman: "Car no do that. Car go road."

What does a a cowboy car salesman say

*tips hat* Audi

I was shopping for a car and asked the salesman the sticker price. He said $200. 'Not much for a car,' I said.

'The car's extra' he said.

I was in a car dealership.

"Can I take this one for a test drive?" I asked the salesman.

He said, "Sure, I'll come with you."

Ten minutes later I pulled up outside my university and said, "Thanks, buddy. I think I've made it in time for my exam."

I went to buy a new car...

The salesman said- Buy it today, and you won't make a payment for six months.

I said- Boy! You really know me!


A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale...

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale, and the buyer is looking at them.

"Well, this one is a fine 1951 Hudson Hornet," says the car salesman.

The buyer gasps, "A Hudson HORNET? Well, I wouldn't want to see a Hudson Wasp!"

The salesman brushes it off and shows him the next car, "this is a Porsche Spyder."

Again, the buyer is aghast, "what is with car companies naming them after insects?! What's next, a Volkswagen Beetle?!"

A Father goes to the toy store to buy a doll for his daughter

"It's my daughter's birthday and I want to buy her a barbie."

the toy salesman replies "well, you came to the right place. We have 'barbie goes to the beach' for 30 dollars, 'barbie super party funhouse' for 20 dollars, 'barbie learns to drive' that comes with a toy car and 'divorced barbie' for 100 dollars.

"why is divorced barbie so expensive" the father ponders aloud.

"because she comes with ken's house, car, and kids

I went to a car dealership with my wife

We were intending to swap our old Ford to a newer one. The salesman sees us climb out of our car, comes up and says: "Is that an Escort?"

Me: "No this is my wife"

The Snail Salesman

The traveling snail salesman delivered snails to restaurants in his station wagon. After travelling and working for half the day, he stopped at a gas station for a cup of coffee. When he came out he found his car was no longer there. The snail salesman cried out "Where did my escargot cargo car go?!"

What does a pimp have in common with a used car salesman?

They both tricked me out of money with a passable tranny.

What's the difference between a used car salesman and a computer salesman?

A used car salesman knows when he's lying.

I was so close to buying my dream car, I just had one final question for the salesman

Cargo space? I asked

After a second of confusion, he replies: Car no do that. Car go road.

Ford Ibble

A car salesman asked me, "What are you looking for in a car?"

I said, "It has to be affordable"

He said, "I'm sorry sir, I've never heard of a Ford Ibble."

My dad was negotiating with a car salesman who was also a patient of his

They're sitting at the salesman's desk negotiating the price on a car, when my dad looks at him and says, "You know, if you get me the right price, my finger can be a lot smaller when your next appointment comes around".

So a snail is shopping for a new car

After all the paperwork is in order and credit checks completed the salesman asks if he wants any extras

Snail: "Why yes I'd like you to paint an "S" on the drivers and passengers door."

Salesman: "Well we can certainly do that for you sir, do you mind if I ask why?"

Snail: "That way,whenever I pass my friends on the street, they'll all say would you look at that "S" car go!"

I went looking at new cars today...

The salesman said- "And if you buy today, you won't make a payment for six months!"

I said- "Wow! It's almost like you know me!"

A salesman's car breaks down

A traveling salesman's car breaks down near an Ohio farmhouse. The salesman knocks on the door and explains his situation to the farmer.

"Well," the farmer says, "Its Friday night, I doubt you can get a tow into town tonight, so I'll let you stay the night. I have only one rule, under no circumstances are you to have sex with my son."

"I'm sorry," says the salesman. "I'm in the wrong joke."

In what nation does a car salesman live?

Incarnation

Some groomers for your friday the 13th

A snail goes to a dealership and finds an expensive sports car. The salesman says "What would it take to get you in this car?" The snail replies "Paint a big 'S' on the side." The salesman asks "Why an 'S'?" The snail replies "So when I drive around people can say: Watch that 'S' car go!"

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Why was the mushroom invited to all the parties? Because he was a fun-guy!

Car Salesman: *Slaps sun*

How do you know a car salesman is lying ?

His lips are moving

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the car salesman aston martin jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working car salesman rolls royce piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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