The Best 35 Car Ride Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Car Ride jokes. There are some car ride driving jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these car ride motorcycle puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Car Ride Jokes and Puns

"sometimes you just need a car ride to clear your head."

- John. F. Kennedy

Riding in car with hubby and 80-yo mom; mom asks why the US flag at Mickey Ds is…

…half staff. Without missing a beat, hubby says its because the ice cream machine is down. I facepalm as my mom asks when that became a thing. πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

IF JFK taught me one thing...

The best way to clear your head is to take a ride in your car.

Four engineers riding in a car -

it stalls. Mechanical engineer suggests a timing problem. Electrical engineer says bad spark. Chemical engineer offers poor fuel mixture. The computer engineer has no idea but "If we get out the car and get back in it may start

Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.

* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.

* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.

* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.

* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.

* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?

* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.

* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.


How many sheep?

A blonde woman is tired of people assuming she's stupid and dyes her hair red. Feeling empowered, she goes for a car ride down a country road. Soon she sees a farm with hundreds of sheep. She walks up to the owner of the farm and makes this proposal: "These sheep are adorable, if I guess how many there are, can I keep one?" The farmer agrees, surely out of all the sheep this woman can't guess the number exactly. She looks around and replies "There are 593 sheep" The farmer is awe-struck, the number was exactly right. So the woman picks her sheep and is getting back in the car when the farmer runs up to her and yells "WAIT! If I can guess your natural color can I have him back?" The woman smiles and agrees, she already proved she's too smart to be called a blonde. The farmer replies "you're a blonde, now can I have my dog back?"

A blond is tired

A blond gets tired of blond jokes, so she dyes her hair. She goes for a ride and comes across a farmer with a flock of sheep. She asks the farmer, "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" The farmer accepts. The blond guesses, "382". The farmer says, "Wow, that's correct. Pick any one you want!" She looks over the entire flock before picking one and putting it in her car. The farmer then says, "I have an offer for you. If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00."

A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER $50.00.

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a software engineer are riding in a car...

when it breaks down. The mechanical engineer speaks up and says, "It must be the engine!" The electrical engineer says, "No, it must be the wiring." The software engineer finally speaks up and says, "Guys, guys... Let's just all get completely out of the car and then get back in."

Apple and Google are both working on self driving cars.

Personally I don't think I want to ride in a car without Windows.

A software engineer, a chemical engineer and a mechanical engineer were riding along in a car.....

suddenly the car stopped. The mechanical engineer said "it must be a problem with the motor", the chemical engineer said "no it's most likely a fuel problem", then the software engineer said "maybe if we all get out, then get back in, it will start"

You can explore car ride motorbike reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean car ride bikes dad jokes. There are also car ride puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a Barbie on fire?

A Barbecue!

Be gentle. First post. And I remember making this up on a long car ride when I was just 4:)

I was riding in my friend's car today when I noticed he didn't have a brake pedal.

He said it only slowed him down.

A young man goes to a formal ball in Boston.

He parks his car, goes up to the venue, and he has a great time. He meets a young woman there, and the two of them hit it off.

I came here on the bus, she says, Would you mind giving me a ride home?

So obviously he says yes, and the two of them leave the venue together. When they get to his car, the man goes up and presses his leg against the car door, and the car immediately opens up!

The girl asks, Wow, how did you do that?

What do you mean? the man says, These are my khakis.

How does JFK clear his head?

He goes for a car ride.

Why do black people buy old police cars?

They never got to ride in the front seat.

A man is riding through the highway listening to the radio...

Suddenly the radio starts booming: Traffic alert. There is a car driving on the wrong side of the road in Route 54. Please avoid entering the highway until further notice.

The man, confused at this alert thinks to himself One car? There are hundreds of them!

What's it like to be drunk?

A boy was riding home from school with his dad. He had just started learning about alcohol and drinking in his health class.

"Dad, when you're drinking how do you know you're drunk?"

"Well son, when you're drunk your speech is slurred and your vision gets worse and worse. A drunk person would see 4 cars in front of us and not 2."

"But Dad, there's only 1 car in front of us!"

A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from Liverpool are all on a hot air balloon ride

The man from Egypt says "we're in Egypt! I can see the beautiful pyramids". A while later the man from Paris says "we're in Paris! I can see the Eiffel Tower from here". Next, the man from Liverpool spoke. He said "we're in Liverpool! I can see someone stealing my car!".


You hear about the nurse who left his uniform in his buddy's car?

His scrubs were hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

Why did Frog need a ride?

Because his car was Toad.

Hot women and exotic cars have a lot in common!

U wanna ride both but no one will let you

Why are cars called Sweet Rides?

Traffic Jams

Three software engineers...

...are riding in a truck that breaks down. They get out, and tries to see what he can see under the hood, but doesn't know anything about cars, another calls a tow truck and waits, and the third says "I don't know what's wrong, let's just get back in the car and see if it happens again"

Three men die and go to heaven...

And God says,"You each get a vehicle but the amount of times you cheated on your wife,your vehicle becomes worse"


The first man cheated on his wife 8 times so he got a BMX bike.


The second man cheated on his wife three times so he got a Mercedes.


The third man never cheated on his wife so he got a Lamborghini.


A few days later,the second man who got the Mercedes goes to the one with the Lamborghini and sees that he's crying. He asks,"Why are you crying? Didn't you get the best car?"


The third man said,"I just saw my wife riding on the field with a scooter!"

A daughter is riding in a car with her elderly mother...

Her mother runs through a red light, and the daughter is concerned her mom may be too old to drive but chooses not to say anything. A few minutes go by, and her mother runs through a second red light. The daughter becomes increasingly worried. As tactfully as possible she asks, "Mom, do you realize you've driven through two red lights just now?" The mother replied, "Oh! Am I driving?"

Car rides and plane rides are just like video game loading screens if you think about it.

Most of the time they both take way too long.

My boss rolled into work in a sweet new ride...

I said "Nice car, I'd kill to drive one of those!". He says "Well, if you set realistic goals, work hard and are determined I can get an even better one next year".

In 1940 Russia, a poor man with no car was late to his daughter's wedding. He hitchhiked there with an unexpected guest who drove very slowly. What did he tell his daughter?

"Sorry I'm late. My ride was Stalin."

What type of pet likes to ride in a car?

A carpet

Some things just ruin your day...

The old woman was about to die so she calls her husband to her side. With some difficulty she says, "Dear, I have but one final request. Please let my mother ride in the first car with you at my funeral. It will give a good impression.

The husband things for a bit and responds, "All right, but it'll spoil my whole day."

Why I don't get married

Two friends talking: "you know why I don't buy a car?because all may friends have cars and they can give me a ride everyday. " That's exactly what I told your wife when she asked me why i don't get married"

On the topic of tailpipe-fucking a car, how does one sodomize their ride?

Stick it in the gashole

What car does a japanese girl love to ride

Nee-san

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the car ride tractor trailer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working car ride rides piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes