The Best 35 Car Racing Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Car Racing jokes. There are some car racing chassis jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these car racing le mans puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Car Racing Jokes and Puns

My wife shouted at me to go out and find her some tampons, quick!

So, I sprinted to the car, paced down the street, rushed into the store, frantically looking down each aisle until I finally got to the tampons, hurried back to my car and raced home as fast as I could! I burst in through the front door, ran up the stairs, slammed open the bathroom door and shouted, "Walmart, halfway down aisle 10, bottom shelf!"

I was in a bar the other day, when a girl asked me, What do you do? I responded, I race cars. Screeching with excitement, she shot back, Do you win many races!? I sighed...

No, the cars are much faster.

My girlfriend bet me I couldn't make a racing car out of spaghetti…

You should've seen her face when I drove pasta

My little cousin was showing off that he sleeps in a race car bed

Jokes on him I sleep in a real car

What do we want?

Race car noises.

When do we want them?

Neoooooooooooooooooooooow


Depressed race car mechanic.

Scene: a psychiatrists practice:

'Doc, I'm a mechanic I work for a racecar driver. It's utterly depressing ... I get to fix his car up, maintain it, tune it to perfection. But never -not once- have I been allowed to take it for a spin. It's crushing a depressing to think that such a wonderful thing is out there purring, but I'll never get to enjoy it. ...'

'Well sir, I think I understand just fine, my brother in law has the exact same problem.'

'Is he a mechanic too doc?'

'No, a gynecologist'

My cousin thinks he's cool because he sleeps in a race car bed.

Little does he know I sleep in an actual car.

A car made of French bread just raced past me.

It was a Baguetti Veyron.

Since professional piano players are called pianist

then why aren't race car drivers called racest

Why is someone who plays the piano called a pianist...

... but a person who drives race cars not called a racist?

What do we want? racing car noises when do we want them

neooooooww

You can explore car racing racer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean car racing car dad jokes. There are also car racing puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My Cousin always brags about getting to sleep in a race-car bed

Joke's on him. I sleep in a real car!

There was a snail who took his brand new sports car into the body shop and got a custom paint job.

He asked for racing stripes, flames, lightning bolts…you name it.
But there was one thing about the paint job the body shop owner just couldn't understand.
The snail wanted a big S on the driver's and passenger's doors.
When asked about them the snail said:
When I drive by someone at high speed I want them to say 'Look at that S-car go.'

Why did the bicycle not enter the car race?

It was too tired.

Speeding Ticket

A cop was waiting in a speed trap on the interstate when a guy in a sport car came racing by him at over a 100 mph. The cop immediately pulls out behind the speedster and turns on his lights. The guy pulls over and the cop walks over to the window. The cop looks at the guy smiling and says I've been waiting for someone like you all day. The guy responses well I came as fast as I could.

The racing driver

The racing driver can't work out why he's come in last in a race despite using the fastest, most technologically advance car.

With his support team, he checks the vehicle and finds three men in large dresses, full make-up and wigs sitting on the roof.

"There's the problem," says the engineer. "Too much drag."

Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past?

It had a SPOILER on it.

I have a sexual attraction and fetish for car races

I just love getting off to a good start

I realized I left my tuba in the car with the doors unlocked...

I raced back as quick as I could and sure enough when I looked inside, there were two tubas.


Why did the electric car finish the race early?

It had a short circuit.

Yo' Mama is like a race car: she burns through four rubbers a night.

[Warning: Nerdy] Two self driving cars lost control on the freeway and crashed, killing 4.

Experts say it was caused by a race condition.

Why did the race car driver have an upset stomach?

He had "Indy"gestion

I recently bought a second hand car.

It only had one previous owner, a little old lady, who only used it once a week, on a Sunday - when she took it drag racing.

What do race car drivers wear under their fire retardant suits?

Speedos !

What's the difference between a velodrome and a palindrome?

For one, you have to use a bicycle. For the other, you can use a race car.

Elon Musk launched the falcon heavy hoping to start a space race...

Of course he wants a space race, he's the only one with a car up there

IM A RACE CAR DRIVER

I DRIVE A BUS WITH BLACKS,BROWNS,WHITES,OTHERS..

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

The title of this post is the joke.

Three aboriginals in a car, who's the driver?

The police.

Also works with other minority races. Mileage may vary depending on audience.

R stands for Racing

that's exactly what I thought too before shifting the gear on my car to R at 120 mph

The quickest way to become a millionaire is to become a professional race car driver...

You just need to start off as a billionaire

Q: What's a race car's favorite thing to eat for lunch?
A: Fast food!

Here is something that's true

All race car drivers are racists.

What did the cat say in the race car?

MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Context: My 5 year old told me this today. I'm guessing he didn't make it up...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the car racing raced jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working car racing nascar piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes