Car Part Jokes

88 car part jokes and hilarious car part puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about car part that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Car Part Short Jokes

Short car part jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The car part humour may include short car meet jokes also.

  1. What is the worst part about locking your key inside your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger.
  2. What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood? Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.
  3. What can you say about your car but not about your girlfriend? "It died a few weeks ago but I still use parts of it."
  4. I ran my car into a pole late last night The worst part was the awful sound it made, but I don't speak polish so I just kept driving
  5. What's the worst part of running into your ex? You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged.
  6. A plane full of Japanese car parts just exploded in mid-air Apparently it's raining Datsun cogs
  7. What's the worst part about locking yourself out of your car outside of a Planned Parenthood? Having to go inside to ask for a coat hanger
  8. What's the best part about clown college spring break? Everybody can go to Daytona Beach in one car
  9. Volkswagon were pretty dumb to name one of their cars 'Golf' Why name a car after a slow and boring sport where the hardest part is driving
  10. Parked my car in Mexico City last night. Came out in the morning to find a gang of kids had come and stolen all the parts off it. Jesus took the wheel.

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Car Part One Liners

Which car part one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with car part? I can suggest the ones about car repair and car model.

  1. I got invited to test a new car made entirely of spare computer parts It was a hard drive
  2. Which car part would Mother Theresa be? A Catholitic Converter
  3. There are japanese car parts falling from the sky here It's raining datsun cogs
  4. TIFU by installing the incorrect speaker parts in my car Oops, wrong sub!
  5. My car is made up of odd parts from other cars It's an eclectic vehicle
  6. What's a tree's favorite part of a car? The trunk
  7. What part of a police car sounds disappointed? The sighren.
  8. What's a couple's least favorite part of a car? The third wheel
  9. A part of a tree fell on my car! Luckily, that leaf didn't do much damage.
  10. What part of a car is the most unreliable? The nut behind the wheel
  11. What part of the car switches genders? The transmission
  12. How can you tell you live in an Asian part of town? All the Mexicans have car insurance.
  13. What is the most untrustworthy part of a car? Deceit
  14. I paid 420 on a after market car part and the packaging smells funny It was a CV Joint!
  15. What is the coolest part of a car?

Car Part Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about car part you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car practical jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make car part pranks.

A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.

Blond in debt

There was this blond woman heavily in debt. She got a letter in the mail saying that if she didn't pay her bills soon the bank would repossess her business. Not knowing what to do, she prayed.
"Please God" she said "Let me win the lottery so I'll have the money to keep my business."
She didn't win the lottery though and the bank ended up taking her business. The next week she got another letter in the mail saying that if she didn't pay her bills the bank would take her house. Again, the woman prayed.
"Please God. Let me win the lottery so I can keep my house."
Again, she didn't win the lottery and the bank kicked her out of her house. Now she is living in her car. Without mercy, a bank representative told her that if she didn't pay her bills they would take her car as well. She decides to pray one more time.
"Please God. Let me win the lottery so I can put my life back together again."
All of a sudden the clouds parted and God spoke to her.
"Work with me, girl. Buy a friggin' lottery ticket!"

Two friends are talking...

and the first guy notices his buddy is looking like he has something bugging him.
He asks his friend, "Man, you look like you got something on your mind. What's up?"
"I just had a rough night. I went to the bar, got falling-down drunk, and when I got home, I wrecked my car into the tree. What's even worse is when I went inside, I started blowing chunks." Man number two explains.
The first friend says, "That's terrible about your car. How is that not the worst part?"
The second man says, "Chunks is my dog."

Heading to market

Little Johnny's mom sends him out to the store for some nuts so she can make brownies. On the way to the store, little johnny witnesses a horrendous car accident in which a car explodes with a man still inside. Stunned by what he jus saw he runs all the way home to tell his mom. He runs in and says, "Mom there was this giant accident!!! This guy was trapped in a car and it exploded! His body parts went everywhere! His arm flew this way and his leg the other way it was intense!" To which his mom replies, "And the nuts!?" "O I don't know where they went.."
Joke I heard when I was kid, sorry if repost or if the wording is a bit off, its been a while.

A young religious couple is about to get married

When their car crashes, killing them both. They come to the gates of heaven and are greeted by Saint Peter. He tells them that they were both faithful in life and he welcomes them into God's Kingdom.
"Wait," says the man. "We were about to be married, but we died before the ceremony. Is it possible to get a marriage in heaven?"
Saint Peter thinks about it, but he can't think of an answer. He tells them to wait and he'll see what he can do.
While he's gone, the couple starts thinking about how final a marriage in heaven is. After all, a marriage on Earth is 'til death do us part- but a marriage in heaven would be truly eternal.
Days later, Saint Peter comes back. "It was tough," he said, "but I managed to arrange a ceremony for you two."
"That's all good and fine," says the couple, "but can we a also get a prenup, just in case?"
Saint Peter throws his hands up in the air in frustration and says, "It took me this long to find a priest up here, do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"


*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*
Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.
I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.
If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)
You're never too old to learn ...something s**....

A man is in a hospital, holding vigil at his wife's bedside...

...she has been in a coma for 3 weeks, the result of a terrible car accident. He is staring lovingly at her, lost in fleeting glimpses of the past, when a nurse enters the room carrying a pan of water, a sponge tucked under her arm. The man nods, kisses his wife on the forehead, and leaves the room. Several minutes have passed. He is alone in the hallway when the door opens and the nurse approaches him excitedly. Embarrassed now, she tells the man that when she tended to his wife's private parts during the sponge bath, his wife had moaned. She whispers that perhaps o**... s**... can bring her out of her coma! Puzzled, but willing to try anything, the man agrees and enters his wife's room while the nurse now waits in the hall. Minutes later, an alarm sounds from the equipment monitoring his wife. The nurse rushes into the room and sees the man at the head of his wife's bed, zipping up his pants. "I think she choked.'", he exclaims.

Nelson Mandela...

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a Japanese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling, "You Sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.
Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Japanese man starts to yell louder: "You sign! You sign!"
Nelson says to him, "Look, you've obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door.
The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the Japanese is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"
Mr. Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the Japanese man back, shouting: "Look, go away! You've got the wrong man! I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again.
The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening it, there is the same Japanese thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting, "You sign! You sign!"
Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the man by his shirt and yells at him; "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?
The little Japanese man looks at him very puzzled, consults his clipboard and says...
"You not Nissan Main Dealer?"

Bridge to Hawaii

Greg is in his car driving on the highway by the ocean in California when he stops and asks God for just 1 wish for being a super faithful and good human being. God instantly appears and tells Greg that he has earned right for one wish.
Greg: I wish for a bridge from here to Hawaii so that I can drive there and have a great time.
God: Ehhhh…. your wish is too materistic! I would have to get the concrete, carefully think about the design, along with pipes and suspensions for balance and aesthetics. It would be quite a bit to handle on my part! Wish something else and I will grant it.
Greg: Alright…Hmmm OK I wish to be able to read women's minds. I want to know exactly what they're thinking at all times, what they mean when they say nothing . Basically, I want to understand women inside out.
God: So you want 2 lanes or 4 lanes on that bridge?

Best part of buying a smart car?

at least the car will be smart! Plus the lack of seats is proportional to the lack of friends!

Joke told by my pastor

There was a couple riding in a car together, arguing. Neither wanted to concede the argument, so they didn't stop. Eventually, they both got tired out, and settled into an angry silence.
A few miles down the road, they passed a barn full of the most disgusting pigs and cows imaginable. The angry wife sniped at her husband, "Are those part of your family?"
The husband responded, "Yes, they're my in-laws."

I got jumped by three black men downtown the other day...

They were quite polite the whole time they were jumping me. Even gave me directions to the nearest auto parts store so I could get a new car battery.

Two mechanics are talking, and one says to the other "Hey, I found this car part in the dump, I think it might be from an old limo."

The other mechanic inspects the part and replies, "Eh, I dunno, that might be a bit of a stretch."

What's the best part about locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic?

Plenty of coat hangers.

So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car.

The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.

How does the Ultimate Warrior repair his car?

With parts unknown.

Emergency flashers

Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.
I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so lifelike you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their n**... bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.
But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my cardboard cutouts. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody tooted their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.
He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!
"What's going on here?"
"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.
"Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"
I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!

Where do Mexicans get their car parts?

From Vato Zone

So my sister took her Driver's Ed test today...

She thinks she failed. Part of the reason was because of this fill-in-the-blank question:
*If the ______ is dead, the car won't start.*
She put "driver" as her answer.

A driver gets pulled over . . .

A man gets pulled over for rolling through a stop sign. While the officer is doing the routine license check, he spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
The cop tells the driver, "I'll let you off this time, but you need to take those penguins straight to the zoo." The driver was happy to get off with just a warning, so he agrees.
The next day, the officer sees the same car in another part of town, with some penguins peeking out the back windows.
He pulls over the driver again. "Hey, I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo just yesterday!"
"Your sure did," says the driver, "and what a great idea that was. We had so much fun that today I'm taking them to the beach!"

Why don't auto repair shops fix golf carts?

Because they work with parts for cars, not carts for pars.

Why didn't the mobsters car parts fit?

...they all fell off a truck.

Three men walk into a car part store...

I need taillights for a Mustang the first one says. What year? the employee asks. 2015 he answers. There you go , the worker hands in the parts. The second guy goes to the counter, saying I need a steering wheel for a Mustang . What year?
1997 he answers. There you go . After he payed, the third guy comes to the counter. I need rear suspensions for a Mustang . There you go .

After years of denial and fear, the teenage car part finally told his parents " Mom...Dad...."

I`m a t**...

I just starred in a movie about a guy who sells car parts

Don't worry, I won't give away any spoilers

Who are the easiest people to scare?

People buying car parts, because you can easily give them a shock!

What's the worst part about a blizzard in a l**... colony?

Stepping outside in the morning to find a foot on the roof of your car

A cop shows up to a gory car wreck (long)

A cop shows up to a gory car wreck and immediately sees several body parts lying around. He takes out his pen and pad to make some notes for his report.
"Left arm - found in ditch"
"Left leg - found in ditch"
~~"Head - found in bulavard~~
~~"Head - found in boulavard~~
"Head - found in ditch"

Till death do us part...

... After a car accident involving a couple they both loose their lives. As the wife is waiting in line to get into heaven she sees her now decease hunsand making out with a younger better looking woman. In a fit if rage she turns to him "how can you do this to me Dave we have been married for almost 50 years, I gave you my best years. I should've listen to my mother she was right about you. You are a dog, nothing more than a failure... " he stops her broughtly "listen the deal was till death do us part."
Edit : words are hard.

[My first ever submission!] A man is driving through a shady part of town...

...When he pulls up at a stop sign.
A woman of the night, about 3 inches tall, approaches his car and shouts to him in a voice that betrays any femininity; "Hey darl, you looking for a good time? I'm only 10 cents per hour."
The driver replies "Sorry, I don't want any micro-transactions."

A car carrying 3 men broke down in the middle of a desert...

"Let's each take a part and try to make it back to civilization." One of them suggested. They all agreed it was a good idea.
"I'll take the hood," said the first, "This way if I find myself atop a hill, I can slide down quickly, like a sled."
"I'll take the wheels," said the second, "In case I want to bring something with me I can roll it along instead of carrying it."
"I'll take the door." Said the last, "If I get hot I can simply roll down the window."

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and an MCSE are trying to fix a car...

The mechanical engineer proposes taking everything apart, inspecting all of the moving parts to ensure that they're running smoothly together, and then put everything back together. He is adamant that this is the best approach.
The electrical engineer strongly disagrees, and wants to check all of the wiring to make sure that it's not causing the problem.
They turn to the Microsoft engineer, who appears to be deep in thought. Finally, he says, "let's just close all the windows and open them again."

Adam gets into a terrible car accident.

He wakes up in the hospital, and the doctor explains, "You went straight through the windshield, but you are going to make a full recovery. Part of your ribcage was broken and started putting pressure on your heart, so we carefully removed it while you were under." Adam thinks on this, then asks the Doctor, "So does this mean I get another wife?"

A woman tells her husband she was diagnosed with cancer.

Her husband tells he's very sad and sorry for her. Once they get to bed, the wife asks:
'Honey, when I'll be... dead, will you marry someone else?' The husband thinks for a while. 'No.'
'Why not? Don't you like being married?' 'If you want me to, then yes.' 'Will she sleep in my part of the bed?' she asks mournfully. 'I guess she will.' answers the husband. 'Will you replace all my photos?' 'Of course not, I'll keep the ones I love most.' 'Will she drive my car?' 'No, she doesn't have a driver's licence.'

What was the worst part of the clown purge?

Not knowing how many of them could be in that car driving past you

What do the brave men, and women who protect our towns and cities have in common with some very small bugs that get stuck in Edgar Allan Poe's hair have in common?

They're both Po-Lice.
* my wife kicked me out of the car shortly after telling you this joke. Crazy part about it is I was driving at the time.

I named my car parts factory after my mother's maiden name, and it was banned for being obscene.

What's wrong with Sechso Fenders?

I just replaced a bunch of parts on my Chevy muscle car and made it a Pontiac muscle car.

Now it's a trans Trans-Am.

A guy walks into a car part store...

He says to the man behind the counter, "I need a gas cap for a Geo Metro."
The guy behind the counter thinks for a second and then says, "I think that's a fair trade."

Three men are driving in the desert when their car breaks down.

The men decide that they must split up and survive on their own for the best chances. They are then forced to abandon the car. To be fair, they decide that they can each take one part of the car to help them.
The first man decides that he wants to take the car battery, he is an engineer and believes he can hook it up to somehow keep his phone charged as he travels the desert.
The second man decides he wants the water pump because he can drink from it when he gets thirsty.
The third man, who was a little slow, wanted to take a car door with him. His reasoning was, if it ever gets to hot, I can just roll the window down

I got hit by a car on my way to my graduation.

The worst part is, I had the right of passage


The federal government is sending most Americans a $1200 rebate.
If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs.
If we buy a computer it will go to India.
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras
and Guatemala.
If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany.
If we purchase useless c**... it will go to Taiwan and none of it
will help the American economy.
The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on
prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced
in US.
I've been doing my part, and I thank you for your help,

I used to believe that Radiator Springs is just a place named after a car part and couldn't be that well-known at its peak...

But then I saw Liverpool winning the premier league title today.

In order to get to the valves, a mechanic carefully removed the engine parts from a car while the car owner - a surgeon - looked on.

Afterwards the mechanic said to the surgeon:
'You know, I reckon my line of work is every bit as difficult and skilled as yours.'
'Perhaps,' said the surgeon, 'But I'd like to see you do it while the engine is running.'

I've been standing in this place where they keep throwing car parts at me,

but I haven't been able to catch a brake.

An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space

Lord , he prays, I cannot stand this, please open a parking space for me and I swear I'll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.
The clouds part and the sun shines on an empty space in the car park. Without hesitation the Irishman says, Actually never mind, I've found one.

My ex wife dented the hood of my car.

To be honest, was partly my fault. I *was* driving 55 mph in a 25 mph zone.

Rough part of the hood.

I once parked my car with my accordion in the back seat in a rough part of town. I was only gone a few minutes, but when I came back, somebody had smashed my rear windshield and thrown in two more accordions.