Car Model Jokes
40 car model jokes and hilarious car model puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about car model that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Car Model Short Jokes
Short car model jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The car model humour may include short car brand jokes also.
- I had to take my Model S in for service yesterday. I could hear loud roars coming from underneath the car. Tesla said it was normal and coming from the Li- Ion battery.
- Tha Apple car will be the first car that will slow down when they release a new model. They said this is a joke.. I'm not sure..
- Buying a new car and online dating are sort of the same thing... You're looking for the youngest model with the least amount of miles on it.
- What do you call a vampire whose car breaks down three miles from a blood bank? A cab
Cred: Spongebob, my role model - A snail bought a Tesla Model S The snail then took off driving at a high rate of speed. As he sped past a famous French restaurant, the chef exclaimed, "Wow, look at that S car go".
- Why is a woman like a car? When it gets old you wish you could afford to ride in a younger model.
- Much controversy surrounds Area 51, which is also known as Chuck Norris's playground.
Those flying saucers are similar to our model cars and planes. - I was recently watching a car commercial... The model was absolutely stunning. The car was nice too.
- Woman are like cars Women are like cars. They are s**... brand new, you drive them until they get old then you replace them for a new model.
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Car Model One Liners
Which car model one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with car model? I can suggest the ones about car part and car brands.
- What kind of car does The Fonz drive? A Model "Aaayyyyee"
- How do car enthusiasts refer to their children? Same make, different model.
- I used to have a toy car with square wheels It was a terrible roll model
- What were Luke Skywalker's favourite model cars to play with as a kid? Toyodas
- Wives are a lot like cars.... Once you pay them off you turn them in for a new model.
- A 40 year old man goes to buy a car.... and all he can afford is a base model civic.
- Yo momma's so old, her first car was a Model T-Rex.
- Whats the hottest car right now? Tesla model X
- How your girl friend will love more? Gift her a latest model BMW car.
- What do you call a snail riding in an electric car? Model S Cargo
Car Model Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about car model you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sports car jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make car model pranks.
Arrested at the airport
I'm a car salesman going to New York for the unveiling of the new Porsche 911 model
When i landed in New York the TSA asked me are you here for business or pleasure
I responded I'm here for the new 911
Positive...
James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice:
" -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?"
" -Terrible."
" -What?! What about your Ferrari?"
" -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired."
" -Well, you win some, you lose some... And what about your son, the intelectual one?"
" -He was the one driving the Ferrari. Died upon impact."
" -But what about your beautiful daughter, didn't she say she wanted to be a model or something?"
" -She did, yeah... And was with her brother. She died too. Only person who wasn't in the car was my wife."
" -Oh thank God! How is she?"
" -She ran off with my bussiness partner."
" -Well, at least you got the company."
" -Yeah, a bankrupt one... I owe millions."
" -Jesus, dude! Do you have anything positive in your life?"
" -Yeah, h**...."
In 1974, volkswagen introduced the Golf to Europe as a small car with a trunk large enough to stuff your golf clubs…
American companies would follow the success of this model, with Ford soon releasing the e**... in 1980.
*still working on this one
Canadian #1: What can I get for ya there bud?
Canadian #2: Oh I'd like this fancy car please.
Canadian #1: Well how about that, would you like the stock model or can I interest you in some upgrades?
Canadian #2: I'd like all the bells & whistles and upgrades ya got please.
Canadian#1: Well you must be quite wealthy then because that's gonna you an arm & a leg
Canadian #2: Can I pay in two knees?
Ok folks, all you automobile experts, I need your advice. I'm ready to buy a brand new top model fast car, budgeting around a million. Can you please suggest..............
..............Where can I get the money from?
A man answers a Craigslist ad for a Porsche for sale.
He goes to check it out, it's a nice late model sport coupe being sold by a middle-aged lady. The engine purrs, the car is clean as a whistle, and drives like a dream. But when he asks the price, the lady tells him $100. This sets off his BS meter, so he starts trying to figure out what's wrong. Is it salvage title? No. She does realize it's a much more valuable car? Yes. Is... is it stolen? No.
So why $100?
The lady explains "Last week my husband goes on a business trip. He then emails me and tells me he is staying in Atlanta, wants to shack up with his secretary, and instructed me to sell the Porsche and send him the proceeds."
Olie & Lena are driving down the road in their Model T...
Suddenly, a mother skunk enters the roadway with her two young babies. Olie can't stop in time and runs the mother over.
It winter time and Lena jumps out of the car to rescue the two orphans. She gets them back in and they're shivering:
Oh, Olie! They're so cold! What should I do to warm them up?
Why don't you put them between your legs?
Oh, but Olie- what about the terrible smell?
They're skunks, Lena. I don't think they'll mind.
George Washington and two other people go to Heaven...
Mahatma Gandhi and two other people die and go to heaven. However, they're really far from the gates and must get there somehow. Someone comes up to them and says,
"I can get you a car to reach the gates. The car'll depend on how many kids you had when you were alive."
The first person says he had 2 children. The person replies,
"Well, that's not too many."
And whips up a sports car for him to drive to the Gates.
The second person says that he had 5 children.
"That's a lot!"
And whips him up a broken down Ford Model T.
George Washington had to get to the Gates by foot. The two other people were waiting for him there. When they asked why he had to do that, since he didn't have any children when he was alive:
"Some idiot told him I'm the father of my country!"
Oh, and thanks /u/reg8382748 for pointing it out, PRETEND GEORGE WASHINGTON KNOWS WHAT THE FRICK A CAR IS.
Senior Driver
My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn. He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.
He said with excitement, "you appear quite elderly to be driving."
"Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly. "I'll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don't even need a driver's license anymore !! "The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license.
I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, saying, 'You won't need this anymore,' so I thanked him and
left!"
The Old Driver
A man was sitting on a lawn sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn. He helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a lawn chair.
"My goodness" he exclaimed, "you are quite old to be driving!"
"Yes" he replied," I am old enough that I don't need a license anymore, the last time I went to my doctor he examined me, and asked if I had a driving license. I told him yes and handed it to him."
He took scissors out of a drawer, cut the license into pieces and threw them in the wastebasket".
"You won't be needing this anymore", he said.
"So I thanked him and left."
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed.
The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble c**... barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain.
They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane.
They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed".
The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong".
The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"