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Car Insurance Jokes

65 car insurance jokes and hilarious car insurance puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about car insurance that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Car Insurance Short Jokes

Short car insurance jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The car insurance humour may include short car loan jokes also.

  1. I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching To reverse and leaving the scene
  2. Do Transformers get car insurance or life insurance? Neither because they live in America.
  3. I saved 15% on car insurance by switching.... The gear to reverse and pulling away from the accident
  4. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching... ...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
  5. I sure like that my car insurance requires a 10 character password. I sure would hate it if someone ..... paid my car insurance?
  6. We should raise insurance rates on drivers who have never crashed their cars. They're driving wrecklessly.
  7. I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching Into reverse and then leaving the scene.
  8. Why does pasta always have to pay so much for car insurance? Because it can't drive a car without making it all denty.
  9. Always have good insurance. Me: Hey, I'm drunk and I just fell in the water.
    Them: Sir, this is AAA, not AA...
    Me: I know. I'm just telling you why my car is in the river.
  10. Hey! I saved a bundle on car insurance, by switching.... my car on reverse and leaving the scene of the accident!

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Car Insurance One Liners

Which car insurance one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with car insurance? I can suggest the ones about life insurance and health insurance.

  1. Why did elon musk go broke? Because his car insurance rates were astronomical.
  2. I just saved a ton on car insurance.... By fleeing the scene.
  3. Want to save 15% or more on car insurance? Just leave the scene of the accident
  4. I hit the gym today... But I drove away because I don't have car insurance.
  5. My friend has mexican car insurance. It's called get out and run.
  6. Why is Trump's car insurance so cheap? NO COLLISION.
  7. Serious question here... Does Lightning McQueen get car insurance or life insurance?
  8. Elon Musk's Car Insurance must have skyrocketed today
  9. How do you become rich in Asian countries? Open a car insurance company
  10. What car insurance do Canadians have? Triple 'eh'
  11. Jesus saves 15% or more on car insurance by switching to Geico!
  12. What's the minimum required car insurance coverage in Russia? Collusion.
  13. How can you tell you live in an Asian part of town? All the Mexicans have car insurance.
  14. I bet Elon Musks car insurance is astronomical
  15. How do you tell when the Chinese move to town? When the Mexicans get car insurance.

Car Insurance joke, How do you tell when the Chinese move to town?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about car insurance can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of car insurance puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Charming Humor Car Insurance Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about car insurance you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean car sales jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make car insurance prank.

Why do Gay men pay such high car insurance? Because they are always getting creamed from behind!

A black guy was pulled over in his mercedes by the police. It was found that it was his, it was taxed and insured...

He had no drugs on him and no weapons were found in the car. The car was NOT linked to any drive by shootings or any drive off petrol thefts.
In the end they arrested him for "wasting police time".

Car Accident

So I got into a car accident the other day. It was nothing major, just a small fender bender as I rear-ended the car ahead of me. We both pull over and I get my insurance information ready when I see the other driver step out of his car - he was a dwarf! I get out of my car and get ready to hand him my information when he looks at me and says "I'm not happy..." so I responded "Well which one are you?"

LPT: If you c**... into a parked car and don't have a paper and pen..

simply use a key to scratch your insurance details on to the bonnet.

Two men get into a car wreck...

Both men are all right and meet to exchange information. The older man offers the younger man a drink to calm his nerves while they wait for the insurance investigator to arrive.
"Thanks for that drink, sir," the younger man says, emptying the little bit left in the bottle. "That was pretty scary."
"Don't thank me," the older man replies, casually tossing the empty bottle into the woods. "I'm a lawyer."

Positive...

James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice:
" -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?"
" -Terrible."
" -What?! What about your Ferrari?"
" -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired."
" -Well, you win some, you lose some... And what about your son, the intelectual one?"
" -He was the one driving the Ferrari. Died upon impact."
" -But what about your beautiful daughter, didn't she say she wanted to be a model or something?"
" -She did, yeah... And was with her brother. She died too. Only person who wasn't in the car was my wife."
" -Oh thank God! How is she?"
" -She ran off with my bussiness partner."
" -Well, at least you got the company."
" -Yeah, a bankrupt one... I owe millions."
" -Jesus, dude! Do you have anything positive in your life?"
" -Yeah, h**...."

A woman's husband dies and gets cremated

She takes the ashes home, puts them on the porch and says, "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know that new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispered, "You know that b**... I promised you? Well, here it comes"

What happens to your car insurance if you don't notify them that you've wrecked a car?

I don't know, but it's not wreck-amended.

What type of car insurance does OJ da Juiceman have?

Triple Aaayyy

How would you know if there are mexicans in your neighborhood?

When the black people get car insurance

Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?

Because women don't get blow jobs while they are
driving.

How do you know when a chinese granny moves to your town?

Even the Mexicans start buying car insurance :)

Soon I'll have a driverless car...

I'm not getting a Tesla. It's just my insurance runs out and I can't afford to renew it.

How high is Elon Musk's insurance cost for his flying car?

I have no idea, but it must be astronomical.

I was in a car c**..., but I managed to save a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...

My car into reverse and rapidly removing myself from the scene.

I got into an accident, but I managed to save myself & a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching..

my car to reverse leaving the scene....

I bumped into an old school friend today

He was going on and on about how expensive his new car was.
So long story short my insurance rates are going up.

My new car only plays Rush and Dream Theater.

Apparently it's because my insurance is Progressive

I asked my attractive roommate whether she wanted to be friends with benefits, and she agreed!

This morning, I co-signed her car insurance.

My friend tried to convince me to get run over by a self-driving car to collect insurance money...

Uber my dead body

Hitting a deer with your car is always an unfair trade.

You're out the cost of the insurance deductible, but nature is only out a buck.

A woman recently lost her husband.

She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.
She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?"
She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?"
She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that b**... I promised you?
Here it comes ..."

Ruff Policy

My dog, Case, swallowed my proof of car insurance. It's really no big deal though. My insurance is just in Case.

I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance

by putting it in reverse and hauling a**... away from that accident I caused.

Two cars crashed close to a bar at noon...

One driver died instantly. The other was thrown out of the windscreen, hit the ground, and broke several bones. He screams and shouts for help.
A man that was drinking at the bar leaves and sees the scene. He goes close to the screaming man and asks:
\- No one has arrived yet?
\- No! AHHHH! AHHH! AHHHH! - the driver shouts in pain
\- Not even the ambulance?
\- No! AHHHH! AHHH! AHHHH! - the driver shouts in agony
\- Not even the insurance company?
\- No! AHHHH! AHHH! AHHHH! - the driver shouts in suffering
\- Then you wouldn't mind if I lay there with you, would you?

Car Insurance joke, Two cars crashed close to a bar at noon...

jokes about car insurance

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these car insurance jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.