The Best 35 Car Insurance Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Car Insurance jokes. There are some car insurance insurance adjuster jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these car insurance insurance salesman puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Car Insurance Jokes and Puns
Why did Elon Musk go broke?
Because his car insurance rates were astronomical.
I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching
To reverse and leaving the scene
Do Transformers get car insurance or life insurance?
Neither because they live in America.
A black guy was pulled over in his Mercedes by the police. It was found that it was his, it was taxed and insured...
He had no drugs on him and no weapons were found in the car. The car was NOT linked to any drive by shootings or any drive off petrol thefts.
In the end they arrested him for "wasting police time".
I saved 15% on car insurance by switching....
The gear to reverse and pulling away from the accident
A woman's husband dies and gets cremated
She takes the ashes home, puts them on the porch and says, "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know that new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispered, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes"
Positive...
James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice:
" -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?"
" -Terrible."
" -What?! What about your Ferrari?"
" -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired."
" -Well, you win some, you lose some... And what about your son, the intelectual one?"
" -He was the one driving the Ferrari. Died upon impact."
" -But what about your beautiful daughter, didn't she say she wanted to be a model or something?"
" -She did, yeah... And was with her brother. She died too. Only person who wasn't in the car was my wife."
" -Oh thank God! How is she?"
" -She ran off with my bussiness partner."
" -Well, at least you got the company."
" -Yeah, a bankrupt one... I owe millions."
" -Jesus, dude! Do you have anything positive in your life?"
" -Yeah, HIV."
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...
...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
I sure like that my car insurance requires a 10 character password.
I sure would hate it if someone ..... paid my car insurance?
A woman recently lost her husband.
She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.
She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?"
She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?"
She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that blow job I promised you?
Here it comes ..."
Want to save 15% or more on car insurance?
Just leave the scene of the accident
You can explore car insurance reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean car insurance insurance agent dad jokes. There are also car insurance puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I just saved a ton on car insurance....
By fleeing the scene.
We should raise insurance rates on drivers who have never crashed their cars.
They're driving wrecklessly.
I hit the gym today...
But I drove away because I don't have car insurance.
I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching
Into reverse and then leaving the scene.
Why does pasta always have to pay so much for car insurance?
Because it can't drive a car without making it all denty.
My friend has mexican car insurance.
It's called get out and run.
Always have good insurance.
Me: Hey, I'm drunk and I just fell in the water.
Them: Sir, this is AAA, not AA...
Me: I know. I'm just telling you why my car is in the river.
Hey! I saved a bundle on car insurance, by switching....
my car on reverse and leaving the scene of the accident!
LPT: If you crash into a parked car and don't have a paper and pen..
simply use a key to scratch your insurance details on to the bonnet.
Hitting a deer with your car is always an unfair trade.
You're out the cost of the insurance deductible, but nature is only out a buck.
I asked my attractive roommate whether she wanted to be friends with benefits, and she agreed!
This morning, I co-signed her car insurance.
I got into an accident, but I managed to save myself & a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching..
my car to reverse leaving the scene....
Car Accident
So I got into a car accident the other day. It was nothing major, just a small fender bender as I rear-ended the car ahead of me. We both pull over and I get my insurance information ready when I see the other driver step out of his car - he was a dwarf! I get out of my car and get ready to hand him my information when he looks at me and says "I'm not happy..." so I responded "Well which one are you?"
Two men get into a car wreck...
Both men are all right and meet to exchange information. The older man offers the younger man a drink to calm his nerves while they wait for the insurance investigator to arrive.
"Thanks for that drink, sir," the younger man says, emptying the little bit left in the bottle. "That was pretty scary."
"Don't thank me," the older man replies, casually tossing the empty bottle into the woods. "I'm a lawyer."
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance
by putting it in reverse and hauling ass away from that accident I caused.
Why is Trump's car insurance so cheap?
NO COLLISION.
Elon Musk's Car Insurance
must have skyrocketed today
Serious question here...
Does Lightning McQueen get car insurance or life insurance?
I bumped into an old school friend today
He was going on and on about how expensive his new car was.
So long story short my insurance rates are going up.
Ruff Policy
My dog, Case, swallowed my proof of car insurance. It's really no big deal though. My insurance is just in Case.
Soon I'll have a driverless car...
I'm not getting a Tesla. It's just my insurance runs out and I can't afford to renew it.
I was in a car crash, but I managed to save a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...
My car into reverse and rapidly removing myself from the scene.
Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?
Because women don't get blow jobs while they are
driving.
My new car only plays Rush and Dream Theater.
Apparently it's because my insurance is Progressive
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the car insurance jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working car insurance piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.