Car Hire Jokes
17 car hire jokes and hilarious car hire puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about car hire that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Car Hire Short Jokes
Short car hire jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The car hire humour may include short rental car jokes also.
- My girlfriend told me she wanted someone who treated her like a princess So I hired paparazzi to follow her and she died in a car accident.
- Hertz car rentals announced a last minute marketing campaign today to avoid bankruptcy They hired Michael Stipes from R.E.M. to remind people everybody Hertz
- What kind of amphibian is hired to take your car away? Toad.
Thanks, HammerElectionBeans for the edit. - Does anyone know if ISIS is hiring? I heard they offer new hires a company cell phone and/or car.
- The girl I'm dating said she wanted to be treated like a princess. So I hired some paparazzi to chase her and she died in a car c**....
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Car Hire One Liners
Which car hire one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with car hire? I can suggest the ones about hertz car rental and car journey.
- I really want to drive private or hired cars. But I don't have anything to chauffeur it.
Car Hire Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about car hire you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car loan jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make car hire pranks.
A truck carrying cows and a truck carrying cannabis get into a car accident.
Neither party can agree on who's fault the accident was, so they hire a detective. This is the detective's first day on the job and his boss tells him, If you can solve this case you get a promotion, however if you fail you will be fired. The steaks are high.
John( talking to his counselor ): My wife just hired a young,handsome and muscular man to be our driver..
Counselor: So,you're jealous?
John: No,im just wondering?
Counselor: Wondering about what?
John: We dont have a car.
Big dreams
Some people wanna have enough money to buy a bike. Others a car. Others would like to be rich enough to hire a chauffeur. However I dream bigger than that, I wanna be able to afford an ambulance ride in the United States
The Crow Mystery
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
The scientific conclusion was that while all the lookout crows could say "Cah", none could say "Truck."
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator.
The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. The investigator then follows the wife around. A few days later, the husband finds a note on his car's windshield. He opens it and it reads: *"Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He s**... she. She s**... he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."*
A guy gets a phone call from the hospital
A guy gets a phone call from the hospital. The doctor says
"I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that your wife was in a terrible car accident and is completely paralyzed. You'll need to take care of her 24/7. Feeding her, helping her use the bathroom, bathing her. You'll probably need to hire help to take care of her. Of course, that may cost too much money, so you'll have to quit your job so you can do it yourself."
Guy says "Oh my god! That's terrible. What's the good news"
Doctor says "I was just joking. She's dead!"
OB/GYN gets fired
OB/GYN doctor gets fired. And he is looking for a job and get an interview at a car repair shop. And the managers says
"If you take the carburator apart you get 2 points and if you put it back you get 5 points and if it works after that you get 3 point.But I'll only hire you if you get all 10 points"
"Ok" says the doctor.
After about 15 minutes he's finished and talks to the manager.
"Wow nice job, you get 10 points and 5 bonus points"
"Why the bonus points?"
"Because I've never seen anyone do that thru the exhaust"
Ravens
Humorous story from the web:
Researchers for the Western Australian Main Roads Department found over 200 dead crows on the Great Northern Highway recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and confirmed that it was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during the analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by trucks, while only 2% were killed by cars. The MRD then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. The O.B quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck".
A recent study on crow deaths
A recent study has found over 200 dead crows near Ceduna S. Aus., and there was concern that they may have died from the Avian Flu virus.
A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.
However, he was also able to determine that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with large trucks, and only 2% were killed by car impact.
The State hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine the disproportionate percentages for the large truck versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order.
When crows eat road kill, they always set-up a look-out Crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Cah", but he could not say "Truck."
Tell this as a real story, and you will get a groan out of pretty much everybody.
About 200 dead crows were found near Regina, and
there was concern for Avian Flu. They had a Bird Pathologist examine the
remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT
Avian Flu, to everyone's relief. However, he determined that 98% of the
crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2% were killed by car
impact. The Province then hired a Ornithological Behaviorist to determine
the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kill.
The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order.
When crows eat road kill, they always post a "look-out Crow" in a nearby
tree, to warn of impending danger. His conclusion was that the lookout crow
could say "Cah," but he could not say, "Truck."