Car Detailing Jokes
15 car detailing jokes and hilarious car detailing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about car detailing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Car Detailing Short Jokes
Short car detailing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The car detailing humour may include short car wash jokes also.
- What's the difference between my car and my dog? The cops didn't arrest me for detailing my car.
- I can't get into Breaking Bad because I have trouble remembering all the little facts. For example: the name of Walter's boss at the car wash. I just need to stop getting Bogdan in the details.
- LPT: If you c**... into a parked car and don't have a paper and pen.. simply use a key to scratch your insurance details on to the bonnet.
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Car Detailing Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about car detailing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car part jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make car detailing pranks.
A lady was driving along the highway...
...when suddenly she is distracted and crashes into the car in front of her, causing a bit of damage. She immediately jumps out of her car to give her details to the person she's crashed into. She walks to the driver's door and out hops a dwarfed man. 'I'm very sorry for the accident I've caused,' the lady says, 'I'll pay for any damage.' To which the dwarf replies, 'I'm not happy...' The lady says, 'If you're not happy, then which one are you?'
A snail brings his car into a garage
He requests a new paint job. The body guy asks what he wants, and the snail says, "Give me a handsome burgundy paint job with a special detail on it. Paint the letter S all over it in yellow gold."
The body tech thinks this is an unusual request, but hey, it's money. The snail returns later that week to pick up his car.
The technician says, "May I ask why you wanted S's all over your car?"
The snail says, "When I'm driving around town, everyone will say, 'Look at that S car go!"
My Car Won't Drive At Night
The service department of a BMW dealership took a call. The customer stated that his car, a 380i, will not drive at night.
The advisor, flummoxed at this, asks for more detail.
"You see," the owner replies, "when it is daytime, I put the car in 'D' and it drives like a dream."
"But when I put it in 'N' for Nighttime....'"
h**... and the Jew
My grandfather gave me this book when I was younger, It is called The Book of Jewish Humor (or something similar). Here is one of my favorite jokes:
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During WW2, in Germany, a Jewish man was walking down the street. As ordered by the n**...'s, he was forced to wear a star on his lapel, to signify that he was a Jew.
Meanwhile, h**... had recently bought a new Mercedes, and was cruising around in his sleek new car. As he went down the street he decided to put his new car through its paces, and pushed the pedal to the floor. He was going faster than any other car on the road, and his protection detail had given up trying to follow him. All of a sudden, his car hit a puddle, and h**... lost control. As he careened off the road, he narrowly missed hitting the Jewish man, and instead ran into a building.
The Jewish man, seeing the car c**... ran to the scene, and quickly freed h**..., who had been trapped under his car. The instant he saw who it was, he gasped, and took a step back.
h**..., seeing the man who rescued him quickly went over and said
"Thank you so much for saving my life! I don't care if you are a Jew, you have rescued me and can have anything that you want, just name it!"
The man thought for a little while, and after a long pause said "Please, don't tell anyone..."
The Crow Mystery
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
The scientific conclusion was that while all the lookout crows could say "Cah", none could say "Truck."
moral of the story
A man is in the bar talking to his friend about what happened to him the other night. He tells the story of how he went home, and his fiancee's younger sister was waiting for him in l**.... The sister told him what she wanted him to do to her in graphic detail.
The man froze for a second and then open the door and walked out. His future in\-laws were waiting outside and told him that this was a test of his faithfulness to his future wife.
The man told his friend that the moral of the story was to keep your condoms in your car.
A man walks into a car dealership…
And a sales representative walks up to him and asks if he could help him find a car. The man responds with little to no detail about what *kind* of car he is looking for. The sales representative continues to ask the man to think of something that would help narrow down the kind of car that they should be looking at.
The man finally says, On the highway, I tend to not use my turn signals…and…if there is traffic, I justify the shoulder as an open lane for me since I *need* to get home. Does that help?
BMWs are this way, sir.
Jokes so Bad that They're Funny
The midget psychic broke out of prison. He was a small medium at large.
A boiled egg in the morning is really hard to beat.
Newspaper headline reads: Cartoonist found dead at home. Details are sketchy.
I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forget how it goes.
Here's a poem by a dog (Bo Burnham): Roses are grey, violets are another shade of grey, let's go chase cars.
The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late? A cold shoulder.
(I'll see myself out.)
A Navajo woman asked me about a box of chocolates...
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally. "What in bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the white bag and said, "It's a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband".
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two, then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: "Good trade."
AZ Hitchhiker
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. 'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: 'Good trade....'
Bottle of Wine
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
'Good trade.'
Two lovers fall on hard times and decided to rob a bank together.
The first lover plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second lover in great detail.
The robbery begins.
The first lover drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the other lover, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan.
You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash.
Do you understand the plan?"
"Perfectly," he said.
He goes in the bank while the other waits in the getaway car.
One minute passes, two minutes pass...seven minutes pass - and the first lover is really stressing out.
Finally, the bank doors burst open and out he comes. He's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car.
About the time he gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out.
The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon.
As the guys are getting away, the first lover says "I thought you understood the plan!"
The second lover said, "I did! I did exactly what you said!"
"No, you idiot," he replied. "You got it all mixed up.
I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"