The Best 35 Car Dealership Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Car Dealership jokes. There are some car dealership jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these car dealership puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Car Dealership Jokes and Puns

I wish my girlfriend wasn't so obsessed about her breast size. Even a trip to the car dealership became embarrassing.

She told the guy she wanted something that'll get her from A to B.

A snail walks into a car dealership...

And he asks the salesman about car customization. He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds:

"Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go!'"

A cowboy opens a German car dealership

His business card says "Audi Partner"

Mr Snail was always being teased by the insects

for being so slow. Eventually, he just couldn't take it anymore and went to the nearest car dealership.

"I want the fastest sports car you have," he told the salesman, "and make sure to paint a huge 'S' on it, so everyone will know its Mr Snail's car!"

So now, every time Mr Snail drives past the insects, speeding like a maniac, all the insects look and say: "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!"

A snail walks into a car dealership...

A snail walks into a car dealership. The snail wants something fast, elegant, and luxurious, after browsing multiple brands he decides on one.

The rich snail pays in cash and walks up to the dealerships salesman and says "I want you to paint big S's all along this car, big S's on the front, the sides, the back, the top, big S's everywhere. The auto body guy tells him he can do it, but can't help but ask the snail why he wants big S's all over the car.

So the snail answers him "It's simple: When I launch past people on the highway they will say Look at that S car go!


Saw some great soviet jokes on here. Here's one from President Reagan...

Buying a car in the Soviet Union is not quite so easy as buying a car in the United States. There's a terrible automobile shortage so you have to pay the money up front and then wait, sometimes many years, until a car is made available to you.
On one occasion, at the height of the shortage, a man went down to his local dealership to buy a car. After he had accepted the man's money and the paperwork had been signed, the dealer informed the man that his car would be ready in 10 years and that he could come back then and pick it up.
Taking note of the date, the man turned to leave but paused on his way out the door and asked, "morning or afternoon?"
"It's 10 years from now, what difference does it make?" replied the dealer.
"Well, I'm busy in the morning." said the man.
Confused, the dealer asked, "what could you possibly have planned for the morning ten years from today?"
"The plumber's coming to fix my sink," replied the man.

Ronald Reagan got into hot water for telling this joke at the S.A.L.T. talks

Russian citizen goes to the Volga car dealership to buy his first car . Dealer says ''that'll be 20,000 Rubles , and we'll deliver it to you TEN YEARS FROM TODAY''. Man asks ''Morning or afternoon?'' Dealer says ''What's the difference , it's ten years from today''. Man says ''Well , the plumber is scheduled for that morning.''ο»Ώ

What'd the cowboy say when he walked into the German car dealership?

Audi...

The wife and I were at the car dealership the other day...

I told the salesman that we were looking for a Subaru Outback then he hit me with a

*"What's wrong with the ones Outfront?"*

At that point I was prepared to offer him full sticker price for whatever because anything less would've been a disservice.

My father died recently and I came into a bunch of money. I decided to buy a car and pay cash...

and the man at the dealership asked me, "Why are all these bills so sticky?!"

My friend is always complaining about the Swedish car dealership he works at. Today I had enough and finally said I don't want to hear anymore of your

Saab stories

You can explore car dealership reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean car dealership dad jokes. There are also car dealership puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Three Chinese brothers

Bu, Chu and Fu came to America to live their American dream.
Bu changed his name to Buck, went into banking and became very rich.
Chu changed his name to Chuck, got a car dealership and also became rich.
Fu decided to go back to China.

The locked car...

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" His reply: "I know. I already got that side."

I went to a car dealership last week and saw a Lamborghini that really caught my eye. I'm just waiting for my paycheck now....

So I can pay for an Uber and go see it again.

So a snail walks into a car dealership..

He goes up to the dealer and he says, "Alright, I want it cherry red, with white-walls, and leather seats, and I want a *big* 'S' painted on the the side." After he rings it the dealer looks at him and he says "I understand white-walls and leather seats, but why the letter 'S' on the side? "Well" the snail says "When I drive by in my new car, I want people to say 'look at that S car go!'

My mom runs a car dealership and I am getting my new car from there.

My mom asked me "So will you be writing a cheque?"

I replied "Not today! It's my cake day. I get Free Karma"

I was in a car dealership.

"Can I take this one for a test drive?" I asked the salesman.

He said, "Sure, I'll come with you."

Ten minutes later I pulled up outside my university and said, "Thanks, buddy. I think I've made it in time for my exam."

Cargo Space

So, a man goes into a car dealership. He asks the dealer, "cargo space?". The dealer replies "car no do that. car go road."

Imagine missing a payment on TESLA

and the car drives itself back to the dealership


I went to a car dealership with my wife

We were intending to swap our old Ford to a newer one. The salesman sees us climb out of our car, comes up and says: "Is that an Escort?"

Me: "No this is my wife"

A snail decides to buy a car...

There's this snail. All his life, all he's ever wanted was a little red corvette, convertible, with a big black "S" painted on the hood. He saves and saves and finally buys his life-long dream. He pulls out of the dealership and his driving down the street, proud as can be. Two guys, waiting at a crosswalk, spot the snail in his new car, and one says to the other, "hey man, look at that S car go!!!"

The Vicar's Salary

At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to
a larger congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation.

No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Glasgow, stands up and
proclaims:
'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every
year, and his wife with a Volkswagen mini-van to transport their
children!'

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, if
the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary
and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school
education for all of his children!'

More sighs and loud applause.

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,
'If the Vicar stays, I will give him free sex.'

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her:
'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you
to say that?'

Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his
forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking
his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'Fuck him'.

A snail hits the lotto and goes into a Rolls Royce dealership and orders his car to have a giant "S" painted on the doors.

When asked why he wanted it, he replied "I want everyone who sees me to say 'look at that S car go!'"

Went to the dog car dealership.

I could tell the salespeople were friendly, since I got all the Volkswagen at me!

My Car Won't Drive At Night

The service department of a BMW dealership took a call. The customer stated that his car, a 380i, will not drive at night.

The advisor, flummoxed at this, asks for more detail.

"You see," the owner replies, "when it is daytime, I put the car in 'D' and it drives like a dream."

"But when I put it in 'N' for Nighttime....'"

A Texan goes to a car dealership

He sees a car he likes and says "Gee that's a byoot!" The Dealer responds "That's not a Buick that's a Honda!"

Chicken

Why did the chicken go to the car dealership?

-- she wanted to trade the coop for a sedan..

My friend called me super excited and...

Wanted to tell me about his new car he just bought. He got a nice red 9-5 from the local dealership. He was going on and on about how he haggled the price down, but I was in the middle of something important. I told him I didn't want to hear his Saab story.

My love life makes a phenomenal car dealership promo

48 months no interest, no money down!

A car dealership twice the size...

...can offer a whole lot more.

Some groomers for your friday the 13th

A snail goes to a dealership and finds an expensive sports car. The salesman says "What would it take to get you in this car?" The snail replies "Paint a big 'S' on the side." The salesman asks "Why an 'S'?" The snail replies "So when I drive around people can say: Watch that 'S' car go!"

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Why was the mushroom invited to all the parties? Because he was a fun-guy!

At the car dealership

- Hello, i'm interested in buying an Alfa .
- Romeo?
- Juliet ?

I walked into a car dealership today

They told me it would be $30 to replace a brake light bulb

Why are all these people at the car dealership in the middle of the night?

Must be having a party cause the parking lot is PACKED.

My Wife Went To The Car Dealership...

She asked me to buy her something that goes 0-200 in under 5 seconds.

So I bought her a scale instead.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the car dealership jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working car dealership piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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