Car Boot Jokes

17 car boot jokes and hilarious car boot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about car boot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Car Boot Short Jokes

Short car boot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The car boot humour may include short car meet jokes also.

  1. I was filling my car with leaded gasoline wearing some comfortable aesbestos boot. As I popped a thalidomide pill into my mouth I thought... "A government ban on assault weapons would never work..."
  2. Yesterday I saw a car with a boot sticker saying, I'm a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal. It was at that moment that I suddenly realized just how many gynecologists there are on the roads.
  3. A brand new car is being launched in Portugal, which includes space in the boot for a child. It's called the Renault McCann
  4. I got a boot on my car for what I thought were just average parking tickets. As it turns out, they were outstanding.
  5. How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front ,two in the back, one in the boot and fifty in the ashtray.
  6. I just bought a sleeping bag from a car boot sale and it's living up to its name. It's been snoring all the way home.
  7. I asked a German if he brought back any meat from the grocers. He opened his car boot to show me his spare veal.

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Car Boot One Liners

Which car boot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with car boot? I can suggest the ones about boots and walking boot.

  1. Why couldn't Stormzy put his dog his car? He was way too big for the boot

Car Boot Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about car boot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car park jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make car boot pranks.

A cop pulls over a woman

The officer comes to the window of the car and asks the woman "Mam, do you have any weapons in the car?"
The woman replies "Well, I have a 12 gauge in the trunk, a smith and wesen in the glove compartment, a colt on my side, and a derenger strapped to my boot."
The officer says "My god woman, what are you afraid of?"
She says "Absolutely nothing."

Have you ever wondered whether it is your dog or your wife who is your real friend?

Yes? Well if you have, just try this experiment...
Put your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you?

The American man and the British man

(Not sure where I learned this one)
Once there was an American man talking to a British man. The American man was lecturing the British man, saying he was saying things wrong. He said its not lift its elevator, its not Tele its TV and its not a boot its a trunk of a car. The British man calmly said back "its not a shooting range its a school

Blonde Bombshell

A blonde is angry with the tax department and decides to blow it up. So she puts a bag of bombs in the back seat of her Celica and heads for Canberra. Her boyfriend si worried about her. "What if the bombs blow up in the car?"
"Don't worry darling," she says, "I've got a spare bomb in the boot".

Heisenberg & Schrodinger

Heisenberg and Schrodinger are speeding along in Schrodinger's car, a police man pulls them over and asks the driver, Heisenberg, if he knows how fast he was going, to this Heisenberg replies
"I do not know how fast I was going, because I know exactly where I am"
After this weird answer the policeman decides to search the car, he opens the boot and asks if Schrodinger knows he has a dead cat in his boot, Schrodinger says "Well I do now"

A Texan in Scotland

A Texan is touring Europe and he ends up in a Scottish pub sitting across from an older Scotsman. As Texans tend to do, he starts bragging about how big everything is in Texas.
Down on my ranch outside Dallas, I can walk out my front door at sunrise, get in my big ol' Cadillac, start 'er on up, put my boot flat down on the gas, and when the sun goes down, I still ain't reached my front gates.
The Scotsman takes a big swing of his stout, and says,
Ach, aye. I had a car like that once, too!

There is a head on collision on a road....

In one car is a Priest and in the other is a Rabbi. As they get out of the cars they realise that neither is even slightly hurt but the cars are totalled.
"Praise the Lord!" says the Priest, "This must be a sign from God that we are to be friends!".
"Indeed it must." agrees the Rabbi.
"And there is a bottle of wine in the boot (US: trunk) of my car that is unbroken. God must wish us to cement our friendship with a drink!"
"Yes, my friend. I agree".
So the priest opens the bottle and hands it to the Rabbi, who takes a large swig. As they sit at the side of the road, talking about their lives, the Rabbi notices that each time he hands the bottle to the Priest he holds it for a few minutes before he hands it back to the Rabbi.
"My friend," he says, "are you not drinking?"
"No," says the Priest, "I'm waiting for the Police"

A husband and wife are stuck in the snow...

the husband tells his wife "The tires aren't getting any traction, t**... shirt and stick it under the right front tire". The wife obliges. The husband pushes down the accelerator and the car doesn't budge. "t**... pants and put them under the left front tire". Again the wife does this, and again it is no help. He then says "t**... bra and stick it under the right rear tire and take your underwear off and stick them under the left rear tire". The wife does this and much to her chagrin, it is no help at all. So the husband tells his wife, "We need to get out of the snow, go up to that farmhouse and ask the farmer if he can get us out". The wife exclaims "I am n**... and my clothes are ruined". The husband then says "Here take my boots and tuck them up in between your legs and the boot soles will cover your lady business". So the wife does this and awkwardly walks up to the nearby farmhouse. The farmer comes and opens the door and there stands the wife. She looks up at the farmer and exclaims, "MY HUSBAND IS STUCK AND HE CAN'T GET OUT".