Car Bonnet Jokes
7 car bonnet jokes and hilarious car bonnet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about car bonnet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Car Bonnet Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good car bonnet joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
My car broke down this morning, so I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine. Amazingly, he said, Hello Dave! You're a handsome fellow and very nicely dressed, too!" I realised the problem straight away.
bat flattery
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Eskimos car breaks down and a man from New Zealand pulls over to help him out. He has a look under the bonnet and says looks like you've blown a seal the Eskimo replies
So what you f**k sheep
n Eskimo was out for a drive
An eskimo is out for a drive one day when his car breaks down and is forced to call a mechanic. Finally the mechanic arrives and he sets to work, looking under the bonnet until he locates the problem. He looks up at the Eskimo and says, "You've blown a seal, mate" to which the Eskimo hastily replies, "No I haven't! That's just frost on my moustache."
Drunk...
A drunk lurches out of a pub at lunchtime.
After getting his alcohol-induced double vision together, he notices a car parked by the kerb with its bonnet up and a man leaning against the car with his arms folded and looking very grumpy.
He staggers over and manages to slur, "What's the matter, mate?"
The grumpy guy scowls at the drunk and says, "Argh - piston broke!"
"Yeah - so am I!" replies the drunk and lurches off...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
LPT: If you c**... into a parked car and don't have a paper and pen..
simply use a key to scratch your insurance details on to the bonnet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"I got her!''
A drunk old man gets into a taxi Mercedes E Class. After a short time, he asks, "Why do Mercedes cars have that on their bonnet?"
The driver jokingly replies, "It is there so I could aim pedestrians."
He accelerates sharply, narrowly missing out an old lady which was passing the street. After that, he heard a massive thump.
"What the b**... h**... was that??" the driver asked
The drunk man replies, "You missed her, I got her with my door".
Oh no...
A man in uniform pulled me over and said, "Sir can you get out the car please." I complied and he put handcuffs on me then pushed me onto the bonnet.
"Can you please tell me what I've done officer?"I asked.
"Oh I'm not an officer." he said, unbuckling his belt.
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