Car Accidents Jokes
38 car accidents jokes and hilarious car accidents puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about car accidents that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Car Accidents Short Jokes
Short car accidents jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The car accidents humour may include short traffic accidents jokes also.
- I saved 15% on car insurance by switching.... The gear to reverse and pulling away from the accident
- My friend in Alabama lost his Mom, his Sister, and his Wife in a car accident. He really loved that woman.
- My girlfriend told me she wanted someone who treated her like a princess So I hired paparazzi to follow her and she died in a car accident.
- What happens if you cross Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip? You die in a car accident in Paris.
- So I got in a car accident with a dwarf today... As he stormed out of his car he banged on my window screaming, "I'm not happy!!"
To which I replied, "Well then which one are you?" - I got into a car accident with a midget... He got out of his car, angrily shaking his fist and yelled, "I'm NOT happy!"
"Well," I replied, "which one are you?" - My friend lost his toes in a car accident, so I punched him in the face I'm lack toes intolerant
- Women are responsible for roughly 45% of car accidents Which is pretty high, considering the steering wheel isn't even on their side.
- Why does the toyota Prius have more accidents on record than any other car? It's really hard to drive safe while patting yourself on the back.
- I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching... ...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
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Car Accidents One Liners
Which car accidents one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with car accidents? I can suggest the ones about car crash and car collision.
- Did you guys hear about the 4 car accident in Mexico? ...94 people died.
- Want to save 15% or more on car insurance? Just leave the scene of the accident
- Kids in the back of a car cause accidents But accidents in the back of a car causes kids
- Why do most car accidents happen when men are drunk? Because their wives are driving.
- A man heard that over 90% of car accidents happen within 15 km of home. So he moved.
- There was an accident involving 2 cars in mexico 17 people were injured.
- There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
- Did you hear about the Italian chef that was in a car accident? He pasta way
- What vehicle gets into most car accidents? A Dodge Ram.
- What do you call a triangle that gets into a car accident? A rektangle
- A Korean guy recently died in a car accident near me He was yung, so yung.
- Why did Jesus get in a serious car accident? God works in miss steering ways
- If a gay man gets into a debilitating car accident... is he a fruit or a vegetable?
- What do you call a dinosaur that gets in a car accident? A tyrannosaurus wreck.
- To be fair to Prince Phillip... He hasn't been involved in a car accident since 1997
Playful Car Accidents Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about car accidents you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crashed car jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make car accidents pranks.
What are the most racist jokes you know?
There were 3 car accidents in Mexico 70 people died.
What do you call a bunch of black people in a swimming pool?
Coco puffs.
Why didn't the anti-vaxxer wear a seatbelt?
Because they didn't want to live in fear of car accidents.
I got this hot blondes phone number today!
Im starting to think i should cause car accidents more often.
Traffic accidents
A Frenchman and an Englishman are talking at a bar:
Frenchman: "Did you hear, in France they lowered the the amount of alcohol you can drink before driving. But now car accidents have significantly increased"
Englishman: " Wow, how can that be?"
Frenchman: " Well its because if a man drinks wine with a meal at a restaurant, his wife has to drive him home"
Now that women can drive in Saudi Arabia there are going to be more car accidents.
Because there are more drivers.
My local council decided to build road signs saying "Avoid Distractions".
There's been an increase in car accidents ever since.
95% of all car accidents occur within one mile of home.
So I moved two miles from my old house. Now I'm safe!
Drunk driver
One in three car accidents is caused by a drunk driver. It's time to expel those sober lunetics from our roads!
As a recent amputee I would like to ask,
who knew that car accidents really DID cost an arm and a leg?
My buddy kept telling me that more car accidents happened within 5 miles of my house than anywhere else.
So I moved.
I just realized why so many car accidents happen in Russia.
They're always Russian around.
I heard that the majority of car accidents happen within 15 minutes of home
So I decided to move 30 minutes away
Saudi Arabia
Saudi Arabia has the worlds lost car accidents, and is the only country in the world where women driving is i**...
If Stevie Wonder ever gets into a car accidents
It will most likely be because he didn't check his blind spot
What is the gravest of all car accidents?
Any with a hearse, it always leaves at least one dead.
Where do most Mustangs get into car accidents at?
Leaving Mustang meets.
A blonde woman one read that over 70% of car accidents happened within 15 minutes of home...
She decided it'd be safer to live somewhere else.
Car accidents and dwarves.
A man was texting and driving and generally not paying attention to the road. As he approached the stoplight, he slammed on his breaks a bit too late and collided into the car in front of him. Flustered, he searched for his insurance and waited for the man in the car in front of him to approach him.
He saw the car door in front of him open and out walked a very short, slightly chubby man with long gray hair and a beard to match. The man approached his window with an angry look and exclaimed, "I'm not *happy!*"
Giving him a second look, the man asked, "Then which one are you?"
Did you guys read the article in the paper about what's been happening at the local supermarket?...
Well, in order to cut costs a week or so ago they bought about ten shiny new robots to go around and collect the shopping carts and trash the customers leave behind in the parking lots, basically replacing some of the jobs human employees get paid to do. The article goes on to talk about how, after a few days, the supermarket owner noticed a lot car accidents occuring in the parking lot which he finally learned was caused by glare from the robots. To solve this issue he decided to paint all of the robots black. The next morning none of the robots showed up for work.