Captors Jokes
8 captors jokes and hilarious captors puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about captors that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Humorous Captors Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What is a good captors joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The Italian spy
A german, French, and Italian spy get captured. The French spy is tied with his hands strapped behind his back, a d is tortured and interrogated. He confesses after one hour. The German spy lasts two hours before confessing. The Italian spy lasts hours before his captors give up on him. The German and French spies ask how he lasted so long without talking and he says "I wanted to talk, but I couldn't move my hands."
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 had long since succumbed to Stockholm syndrome and was actively engaging with their captors.
I was taken hostage the other day. My captors taped me up.
I got away scotch free!
An American, European and Israeli get captured by ISIS.
The captors decide after some discussion that they will behead all 3. The captors ask each of the people what they would like before being executed. The American is asking for a hamburger, the European asked for red wine and the Israeli asked to be kicked in the b**....
All three received what they asked for and once the Israeli gets his kick in the b**..., he over-powers the first captor and then shoots the other 4 captors. After all 3 have been freed, the American and European asked the Israeli why he asked to be kicked in the b**.... The Israeli replied that he didn't want to be accused of starting the fight.
A Frenchman, a German, and an Italian have been captured by the Russians. They are all brought in to be interrogated.
The Frenchman goes in first. After 30 minutes of brutal t**... he finally relents and tells his captors everything.
The German goes next. After 2 hours of t**..., he gives in as well.
Finally the Italian is questioned. After 3 days of brutal t**... he still has not said anything and is tossed into the holding cell with the other two men.
The German and the Frenchman are both shocked. They ask the Italian how he managed to stay silent. Bruised and bloodied, the Italian replies
"I wanted to talk after five minutes, but they tied my hands down!"
Two soldiers are held captive by the Taliban
They are told that they are going to be executed the next day. "We are not without compassion" says one of the captors. "We will allow you each one last wish." The first soldier says he has always been the biggest fan of Bryan Adams, and he would like to hear the song 'Everything I do I do it for you' one last time. After telling him that his wish would be granted, the Taliban captor turns to the second soldier and asks what his wish is. He thinks for a minute and says "shoot me first".
A Jew, an Italian and a Frenchman last meal
Three men, a Frenchman, an Italian, and a Jew, were condemned to be executed.
Their captors told them that they had the right to have a final meal before the execution. They asked the Frenchman what he wanted. Give me some good French wine and French bread, he requested. So they gave it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him.
Next it was the Italian's turn. Give me a big plate of pasta, said the Italian. So they brought it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him.
Now it was the Jew's turn. I want a big bowl of strawberries, said the Jew. Strawberries?!! They aren't even in season! .
So, I'll wait…
The 3 Spies
There are 3 Spies that get captured. One spy is French, one is German and the other is Italian. Their captors come into the cell and grab the French spy and tie his hands behind a chair in the next room. They t**... him for 2 hours before he answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets. The captors throw the French spy back into the cell and grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair as well and t**... him for 4 hours before he tells them what they want to know. They throw him back into the cell and grab the Italian spy. They tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing. 4 hours go by and the spy isn't talking. Then 8 hours, then 16 and after 24 hours they give up and throw him back into the cell. The German and French spy are impressed and ask him how he managed to not talk. The Italian spy responds, " I wanted to!, but I couldn't move my hands!".
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