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Captivity Jokes

46 captivity jokes and hilarious captivity puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about captivity that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Captivity Short Jokes

Short captivity jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The captivity humour may include short captive jokes also.

  1. I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in the cage Zookeeper said it was bread in captivity
  2. At the zoo I noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures. I asked the keeper, 'How did that toast get into the cage?'
    'It was bread in captivity' she replied.
  3. I went to the zoo today and there were 2 baguettes in a cage The sign said they were bread in captivity.
  4. I went to the zoo today and saw a bagel locked up in a cage. Apparently it was bread in captivity.
  5. I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage I guess you could say it was bread in captivity
  6. Just back from the zoo. Saw a slice of toast lying in one of the enclosures. It was bread in captivity.
  7. I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said "Bread in captivity".
  8. I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.
  9. A new study of dolphins was recently performed... The study showed that within a few weeks in captivity, they were able to teach humans to stand at the edge of their pool and throw fish at them.
  10. I was held captive by some French-Canadian terrorists... They forced me to eat hundreds of meat pies.
    It was tourtière.

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Captivity One Liners

Which captivity one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with captivity? I can suggest the ones about captured and kidnapping.

  1. Did you hear about the baguette in the zoo? It was bread in captivity.
  2. Zoo... I went to the zoo and saw a loaf in a cage.
    A sign read: "Bread in captivity."
  3. My family was being held captive by a salad It wouldn't lettuce leaf
  4. Why is it easy to tell jokes in a prison? You have a captive audience.
  5. What do you call toast in a cage? Bread in captivity.
  6. How was your trip to Stockholm? Captivating
  7. Why was the poet teaching at a prison so happy? She had a captive audience
  8. Hey, did you hear about the prison talent show? They had quite the captive audience.
  9. Went to the zoo to find a baguette caged They said it was bread for captivity
  10. Why did Demi Lovato hold Wonder Woman captive? Because she was a heroine addict
  11. I have a pet baguette that remains in it's cage. It's bread in captivity.
  12. I saw a baguette in a cell at the zoo yesterday... It was bread in captivity.
  13. I went to the zoo and saw a croissant in a cage. It was bread in captivity.
  14. I saw a baguette in a cage the other day The sign read "Bread in captivity"
  15. Lady Gaga Performed at the Prison today. Might I say that the Audience were Captivated.

Captivity joke, Lady Gaga Performed at the Prison today.

Unearthly Funniest Captivity Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about captivity you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean custody jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make captivity pranks.

I'm in prison and decided to start my career here as a standup comic

It helps to have a captive audience

Did you hear about the iguana that couldn't mate in captivity?

He had a reptile disfunction.

I went to the zoo the other day

I saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said it was bread in captivity...

What did the comedian turned kidnapper say to his hostages?

It's nice to have a captive audience.

Recent studies show that chimps raised in captivity are more likely to reproduce if they are shown videos of other chimps mating in the wild.

monkey see monkey do monkey, monkey do monkey

Brown Pants

During the French and Indian Wars in North America, the French captured a British Officer during an engagement. Later that evening the French officers gathered and dined with the new captive.

After dinner the French commander asked their prisoner Sir, we have been wondering why British officers wear a red coat, as it makes you an obvious target for our sharpshooters . The British officer replied We wear it so that if we are wounded, the sight of our blood does not panic our men .
Ever since that day, French Officers have worn brown pants.

Pandas have finally started breeding together in captivity

According to staffers, the place just suddenly erupted into panda-moan-ium

I was at the zoo the other day when I noticed a baguette in one of the enclosures...

I went up to the zookeeper and asked why there was a baguette in a zoo. He replied "oh that?! It's bread in captivity"

Don't you love it when you get beautiful texts from someone that cares about you?

So eloquently written, it ties your stomach in knots. Writing so succinct and captivating it gets your heart pounding and racing. Using words that convey such great ideas. I got one like that one today. It read
"Ballistic missile threat inbound to Hawaii. Seek immediate shelter. This is not a drill."
Truly powerful words. They **blew** me away

Captivity joke, Don't you love it when you get beautiful texts from someone that cares about you?

jokes about captivity