The Best 10 Captive Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Captive jokes. There are some captive hostage jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these captive imprison puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Captive Jokes and Puns

My family was being held captive by a salad

It wouldn't lettuce leaf

Why is it easy to tell jokes in a prison?

You have a captive audience.

I was held captive by some French-Canadian terrorists...

They forced me to eat hundreds of meat pies.

It was tourtière.

Captive joke, I was held captive by some French-Canadian terrorists...

Hey, did you hear about the prison talent show?

They had quite the captive audience.

What did the comedian turned kidnapper say to his hostages?

It's nice to have a captive audience.


Why did Demi Lovato hold Wonder Woman captive?

Because she was a heroine addict

I was shocked by that story of the parents who kept even their adult children captive in the house.

Personally, I couldn't wait for my kids to leave.

Captive joke, I was shocked by that story of the parents who kept even their adult children captive in the house.

What do you call a comedian's audience in prison?

A captive audience.

What do you call 64 white guys trapped in a room?

a captive Cherokee

Two explorers are surrounded by cannibals

The first explorer makes a run for it, but is quickly caught. The second calmly starts doing the old "trapped in a glass box" routine while his comrade watches on, bewildered. Visibly disgusted, the cannibals wave him away.

Just before they lead their captive off to the slaughter, he asks the second explorer why they spared him. "A mime is a terrible thing to taste."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the captive prison jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working captive captivity piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes