Captain Kirk Jokes
59 captain kirk jokes and hilarious captain kirk puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about captain kirk that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Captain Kirk Short Jokes
Short captain kirk jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The captain kirk humour may include short captain jokes also.
- Captain Kirk actually has 3 ears. The first is the left ear, the second is the right ear, and then there's the final frontier.
- Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom? Because he was fighting the Klingons.
- What did captain kirk's music teach put on his report card? He's having trouble with the trebles
- What do Captain Kirk and Mister Spock do to get their baggage up to their hotel room? Tell a porter.
- Q: Why did Captain Kirk go in to the ladies room?
A: Because he wanted to go where no man had gone before. - Hey Captain Kirk, who's your most productive officer? That would be Pavel - any task I give him, he'll quickly Chekov.
- What is Captain Kirk's least favorite fruit? Klingon peaches
- A hat for kirk My mum wanted to knit a hat for Captain Kirk of the USS enterprise, but it is quite tricky for someone who has three ears!
His left ear, his right ear and his final front-ear. - What is Captain Kirk's favorite holiday? Hanukhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnn!
- What is Captain Kirk's favorite chemical process? Vulcanization
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Captain Kirk One Liners
Which captain kirk one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with captain kirk? I can suggest the ones about sea captain and captain hook.
- Why did Captain Kirk's girlfriend break up with him? Because he Shatner face.
- What is Captain Kirk's least favorite type of nut? Pe-KAAAAAHHHHHNNNNNN!!!!
- What does Captain Kirk do on the toilet ? He makes a Captain's log
- Why does Captain Kirk's wife smell? Because, William Shatner.
- Why Did Spock Use Kirk's Bathroom? ...Because he wanted to see the Captain's log
- What did Captain Kirk find at the end of the rainbow? a LepreKHAAAAAAN!
- What is Captain Kirk's least favorite movie genre? Romulan-coms
- I like my lawn like Captain Kirk likes his women. Thick, lush, soft, and green.
- What is Captain Kirks most hated pie? Pe-KHAAAAAAANNN!
- What is Captain Kirk's favorite brand of paper products? Scott
- How did Captain Kirk get the flu He Khan-tracted it
- Why did Captain Kirk pee on the enterprise? To go where no man had gone before.
- Why couldn't Captain Kirk access the internet? He had no Data.
- What is Captain Kirk's favorite fish, stretch and 17th century infantry weapon? Pike
- Where does Captain Kirk prefer to urinate? Where no man has gone before.
Captain Kirk Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about captain kirk you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean star trek jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make captain kirk pranks.
Q: Why did Captain Kirk go in to the ladies room?
A: Because he wanted to go where no man had gone before.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Captain Kirks wife have p**... on her head?
Because William s**...-on-her
What did captain Kirk do in the head?
He Shatner.
What would Captain Kirk be called if he wrote poetry?
Prose and Khans.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Captain Kirk do when his girlfriend told him she had a defecation f**...?
William s**...-on-her
What did Spock find in the bathroom when he went in after Captain Kirk?
Captain's Log.
What did Captain Kirk say when he decided to dabble in devil worship?
Uhura, hail Satan.
What did Captain Kirk say when playing basketball?
D me up, Scotty!
What are Captain Kirk's least favorite 1970's prog-rock bands?
It's a tossup between the alan parsons PROJECT and GENESIS.
What is Captain Kirk's favorite German beer?
Doppelspock
What is Captain Kirk's least favorite 20th century ethno-nationalist conflict?
The Irish Tribbles.
Who is Captain Kirks favorite Wright brother?
Wilbur
What is Captain Kirk's least favorite 20th century car theft movie?
Gorn in 60 Seconds
What is Captain Kirk's least favorite Casey Affleck movie?
Gorn Baby, Gorn.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Captain Kirk say?
Goodness nose, I've p**... pooed out my captains journal!
Why is captain kirks wife brown?
Because William shatner
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's sick, Irish, and hates Captain Kirk?
A l**... Khan.
Captain Kirk and Spock are chatting one day...
Kirk: " Spock you always remain so calm and even handed when talking with people who are obviously less intelligent than you. How do you do it? "
Spock: " Well Captain I simply agree with whatever they say."
Kirk: " What? That's absolutely ridiculous! "
Spock: " I completely agree Jim. "
....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Captain Kirk only have s**... with virgins?
He boldly goes where no man has gone before.