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Captain Kirk Jokes

67 captain kirk jokes and hilarious captain kirk puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about captain kirk that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Captain Kirk Short Jokes

Short captain kirk jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The captain kirk humour may include short captain jokes also.

  1. Captain Kirk actually has 3 ears. The first is the left ear, the second is the right ear, and then there's the final frontier.
  2. Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom? Because he was fighting the Klingons.
  3. What did captain kirk's music teach put on his report card? He's having trouble with the trebles
  4. Fun fact: In Star Trek canon, Captain Kirk has three ears. . . He has a left ear, a right ear, and SPACE: THE FINAL FRONT EAR.
  5. What do Captain Kirk and Mister Spock do to get their baggage up to their hotel room? Tell a porter.
  6. How many ears does captain Kirk have? Three, his left ear, his right ear and his final frontier
  7. Q: Why did Captain Kirk go in to the ladies room?
    A: Because he wanted to go where no man had gone before.
  8. Hey Captain Kirk, who's your most productive officer? That would be Pavel - any task I give him, he'll quickly Chekov.
  9. What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? They both wipe away Klingons from Uranus
  10. Why did Captain Kirk pee on the ceiling? To boldly go where no man has gone before.

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Captain Kirk One Liners

Which captain kirk one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with captain kirk? I can suggest the ones about sea captain and captain hook.

  1. Why did Captain Kirk's girlfriend break up with him? Because he Shatner face.
  2. Did you know Captain Kirk had three ears? A right ear, a left ear, and a final front ear
  3. What is Captain Kirk's least favorite type of nut? Pe-KAAAAAHHHHHNNNNNN!!!!
  4. What is Captain Kirk's least favourite nut? Pe-Kahn!!!!!!
  5. What does Captain Kirk do on the toilet ? He makes a Captain's log
  6. How many ears does Captain Kirk have? 3
    A Left Ear
    A Right Ear
    And a Final Front-Ear
  7. Why does Captain Kirk's wife smell? Because, William Shatner.
  8. Why Did Spock Use Kirk's Bathroom? ...Because he wanted to see the Captain's log
  9. What did Captain Kirk find at the end of the rainbow? a LepreKHAAAAAAN!
  10. What is Captain Kirk's least favorite movie genre? Romulan-coms
  11. I like my lawn like Captain Kirk likes his women. Thick, lush, soft, and green.
  12. What is Captain Kirks most hated pie? Pe-KHAAAAAAANNN!
  13. What is Captain Kirk's favorite brand of paper products? Scott
  14. How did Captain Kirk get the flu He Khan-tracted it
  15. Why did Captain Kirk pee on the enterprise? To go where no man had gone before.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about captain kirk can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of captain kirk puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Captain Kirk Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about captain kirk you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean star trek jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make captain kirk prank.

Q: Why did Captain Kirk go in to the ladies room?
A: Because he wanted to go where no man had gone before.

Captain Kirk told his girlfriend he was into s**......

...then he Shatner.

What would Captain Kirk be called if he wrote poetry?

Prose and Khans.

Why Does Captain Kirk Have 3 Ears?

He's got his left ear, his right ear...and the final front ear.

What did Captain Kirk do when his girlfriend told him she had a defecation f**...?

William s**...-on-her

A hat for kirk

My mum wanted to knit a hat for Captain Kirk of the USS enterprise, but it is quite tricky for someone who has three ears!
His left ear, his right ear and his final front-ear.

What did Spock find in the bathroom when he went in after Captain Kirk?

Captain's Log.

What did Captain Kirk say when playing basketball?

D me up, Scotty!

What is Captain Kirk's least favorite fruit?

Klingon peaches

What are Captain Kirk's least favorite 1970's prog-rock bands?

It's a tossup between the alan parsons PROJECT and GENESIS.

What is Captain Kirk's favorite German beer?

Doppelspock

What is Captain Kirk's favorite chemical process?

Vulcanization

Where does Captain Kirk prefer to urinate?

Where no man has gone before.

What is Captain Kirk's least favorite 20th century ethno-nationalist conflict?

The Irish Tribbles.

Who is Captain Kirks favorite Wright brother?

Wilbur

What is Captain Kirk's least favorite Casey Affleck movie?

Gorn Baby, Gorn.

What is Captain Kirk's favorite fish, stretch and 17th century infantry weapon?

Pike

William Shatner, alias Captain Kirk, has discontinued his ladies underwear line...

In hindsight "Shatner p**..." wasn't a good choice of name in the first place.

Did you hear about Captain Kirk's l**... line?

it went bust.
No one wanted to wear shatner p**....

Why couldn't Captain Kirk access the internet?

He had no Data.

Why is captain kirks wife brown?

Because William shatner

What is Captain Kirk's favorite holiday?

Hanukhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnn!

What's sick, Irish, and hates Captain Kirk?

A l**... Khan.

The original actor who played Captain Kirk tried to start a Star Trek themed line of women's l**....

But no one would invest in Shatner p**....
(An oldie, but deserved a fresh posting)

Captain Kirk and Spock are chatting one day...

Kirk: " Spock you always remain so calm and even handed when talking with people who are obviously less intelligent than you. How do you do it? "
Spock: " Well Captain I simply agree with whatever they say."
Kirk: " What? That's absolutely ridiculous! "
Spock: " I completely agree Jim. "
....

Why does Captain Kirk only have s**... with virgins?

He boldly goes where no man has gone before.

Why did Captain Kirk's wife smell?

Because William Shatner (s**... on her).
I'll get my coat.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these captain kirk jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.