The Best 35 Captain America Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Captain America jokes. There are some captain america captains jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these captain america united states puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Captain America Jokes and Puns

My 8 year old told me a really clever joke for once.

What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?

A Star-Spangled Banner.

U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts:

Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "Gringo, we are invading the United States of
America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."

The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter.

When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last 4. The other 20 million are already there.

"Name one person that could beat Captain America"

Captain Vietnam

What do you get when you dress the Hulk in Captain America's clothes?

A Star-Spangled Banner.

What do you call Hulk dressed up as Captain America?

Star-Spangled Banner


Just watched Captain America: Civil War for the first time

Couldn't get enough, so I looked out of the window to watch America: Civil War.

In the next Marvel movie I hear that Ironman, Captain America and the others will team up to battle Comcast .

It is called Avengers Xfinity Wars!

Who can beat Captain America?

Captain Vietnam.

The Captain's Drink

Captain Hook, Captain Crunch, and Captain America walk into a bar.
Hook says, "Ahoy mates, I'll buy the first round. Just let me go to the bathroom real quick."
The others wait and when Hook comes back Captain America asks, "Hey Hook, how bout those drinks?"
Hook yells, "Shove it up yer stars and stripes, ya flag waving boy scout!"
America turns to Crunch, "Why's he suddenly "irate"?
Crunch says, "Well, that's what happens when you take the P out of a pirate"

A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California...

The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and replies, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s."

The entire crew of the destroyer doubled-over in laughter. When the captain was finally able to catch his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The rest are already there!"

What do you call the Hulk when he wears Captain America's outfit?

The Star Spangled Banner

You can explore captain america capt reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean captain america james kirk dad jokes. There are also captain america puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you get when you cross Captain America with The Incredible Hulk?

Star spangled Banner.

MjΓΆlnir could be picked up by Thor, Vision, and Captain America

Does that make it poly-hammer-us?

Which superhero can beat Captain America?

Captain Vietnam

captain mexico

Always trying to take captain america's job.

Do you know who could beat Captain America?

Captain Vietnam

Captain America's shield was made of Adamantium. What was Hawkeye's shield made of?

Quicksilver.

After Captain America died, The Incredible Hulk inherited the mantle.

He renamed himself 'The Star-Spangled Banner'.

How much money does it cost to make Captain America cry?

One buck


What does Captain America and Spain have in common?

A horrific Civil War

Did you hear Ant Man will be in Captain America 3?

I hear it will be a small role

Which setting does Captain America search for in his Android Settings?

Language!

What's the difference between black and white?

If you're white, you'll get Captain America.

If you're black, you'll get capped in America.

Which Marvel character can beat Captain America?

Captain Vietnam.

Why America failed to save the world from Coronavirus



Thor is in Asgard

Ironman died

Captain is now old

Hulk doesn't have much power. Rest of the Avengers are suffering from Corona and China ate Spiderman and Batman.

Warning potential Avengers Age of Ultron Spoilers. What is Captain America's shield made out of?

-Vibranium

-What's Hawkeye's shield made out of?

-Quicksilver

A captain enhances his soldiers' spirit before going to battle

He asks Ryan first

\- What is America, you?

\- It is my mother, and I love it more than anything.

\- What would you do for her?

\- I would sacrifice myself, if necessary.

Pleased, he asks Forrest

\- And you, do you love America, soldier?

\- Yes, but actually no, sir.

\- Why is that, soldier?

\- It would be morally wrong, sir. Ryan's mom is married, and I ain't a big fan of MILF.

Why was Captain America anemic?

He wasn't getting enough iron, man.

What did Iron man say to Captain America on the walkie talkie?

Steve, Roger that?

What did Captain America order at Starbucks?

One iced Americano

Why can't Captain America be black?

Doesn't fit the color scheme.

What does Captain America say when he wants an orchestra?

Avengers, ensemble!

What's captain America's favourite drink.

An iced americano

Steve Rogers in Captain America: The First Avenger is a college student.

1. A friendly man gets him to do drugs.
2. He has to work real hard to get his friend out of trouble.
3. He takes a stand against people with different ideology.
4. He doesn't get the girl.
And,
5. When he finally goes to sleep, he doesn't wake up for 70 years.

Name one character who could beat Captain America.

Name one character who could beat Captain America...

Captain Vietnam

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the captain america privateers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working captain america america piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes