Capt Jokes
84 capt jokes and hilarious capt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about capt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uproarious Capt Jokes to Share with Friends
What is a good capt joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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How do you capture a polar bear?
1. Dig a hole in the ice.
2. Place a bunch of peas around the hole
3. When the bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
What is Captain Picard's favorite Chinese takeout ?
Make it Tso!
Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom?
Because he was fighting the Klingons.
what did the captain say when the navigator complained they were off course?
don't give me that latitude
Why did Captain Hook cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop
What did Captain Kirk find at the end of the rainbow?
a LepreKHAAAAAAN!
[OC] How does captain hook cook pita bread?
With a pita pan.
What is Captain Picard's favourite gaming device?
N-Gage.
"This is your Captain speaking..."
"...if you look out of your window you will see a small yellow life raft floating in the sea. I am talking to you from there."
What is Captain Hook's favorite kind of humor?
Dead Pan.
Captain America's shield was made of Adamantium. What was Hawkeye's shield made of?
Quicksilver.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the captain execute the pastry chef?
Because his orders were to shoot all desserters.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Captain Ahab is like G.W. Bush
They're both violent men that have a revenge fantasy against a cheap source of oil.
"Captain, have you ever made love at sea?"
"No son, but I've been blown ashore many a time."
In "Captain Sully", technically speaking, Tom Hanks did not fly a plane on to the Hudson River
That was falling with style
I capture lions for a living...
I guess you could say I take pride in my work.
A captain and his crew...
A crew mate runs to his captain "Captain! Captain! There is an enemy ship on the horizon! What do we do?" The captain replies "Grab me my red shirt." "Why?" The crew mate asks. "So that my crew doesn't see me bleeding from the battle." The captain replies. Another guy runs up "Captain! Captain! I have an update there are 7 more ships what should I do?" "Go get me my brown pants."
Why doesn't Captain Picard have an iPhone
He already has an android, and it came with a data plan.
How did Captain Hook die?
He wiped with the wrong hand
captain mexico
Always trying to take captain america's job.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was captured by a p**... and forced to become a p**...
It was w**...-ifying
What does Captain Jack Sparrow do when he has back pain?
Pilates of the Caribbean.
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Capt One Liners
Which capt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with capt? I can suggest the ones about cape and compass.
- What did Capt. Ahab's son write on his father's cast? Get whale soon"
- How do you call Capt. America in spanish? El Capitano Americano 😂
- o**... Capt. Marvel exploded De brie everywhere
