capricorn Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious capricorn puns

So a woman walks out of a doctor's office

and she stops at the door, looks back at the doctor and says :

- What was it again ? Sagittarius, Capricorn ?
- No ma'am, CANCER !


My Ex and I weren't compatible...

I'm a Capricorn and she's a bitch.


Me and my ex-girlfriend just weren't meant to be together, she was a Capricorn...

and I don't believe in bullshit


I told my superstitious friend I was having knee pains

She said "I have been reading into astrology and its said that Capricorn, the sea-goat, has more knee pains. Are you a Capricorn?"

I said "No ma'am. I'm a Taurus, and that's bull."


Astrology joke

I've got a cousin who was born with a rare condition that renders him speechless, deaf, blind, immobile, and unable to talk. He mostly lies in bed in a hospital, and we feed him through tubes. But underneath all that, you can totally tell he's got that typical wacky Capricorn sense of humor.


I don't believe in star signs

but that's me... typical capricorn!


Poor little Jonny didn't understand the diagnosis

So he asks his mom, "what did the doctor say I have, capricorn?" His mom replies "No stupid, Cancer, you have cancer!"


Went to an astrologer and found out why my wife and I aren't compatible.

I'm a Capricorn and she's a fucking BITCH!


I've been diagnosed with cancer...

...Oh sorry, I meant Capricorn.


Star sign

Doctor: Choose a star sign.

Patient: Capricorn.

Doctor: Too bad you got cancer


I walk into the doctors office and the doctor says to me, pick a star sign, any star sign

Ok, Capricorn! i say

Nope, you've got cancer he replies


So I walked into he doctor's office

He said : Pick a star sign any star sign.

I said : Capricorn

And he said : Nah you got cancer


So I walked into the doctors office the other day

He said to me: Pick any starsign, any starsign you want

So I went and said: Capricorn!

And the doctor said: No..., you've got cancer


What are the most funny Capricorn jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Capricorn? Well, here are the best Capricorn dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Capricorn pick up lines to share with friends.


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