The Best 35 Capitol Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Capitol jokes. There are some capitol seattle jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these capitol frontpage puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Capitol Jokes and Puns

Why did it take the police so long to show up to Capitol Hill today?

Because they had to go home and change first.

What's the difference between the US Capitol and Mordor?

One does not simply walk into Mordor

What's the difference between Republicans and Ukrainians?

Ukrainians defend their Capitol.

Which country has the fastest growing capitol?

Ireland. It's Dublin every year.

Events on Capitol Hill have gotten pretty dark

Any darker and the police might actually do something about it


So to celebrate the Halloween season...

... I was going to go to a 200 year old building that was apparently set up with shriveled up old corpses, dangerous bandits, bloodsucking vampires, hellbent soulless demons, and the like. But it turns out the Capitol Building is closed for tours until a budget resolution is reached.

Why did the Capitol police decide to use teargas?

They knew nobody was wearing a mask!

Capitol joke, Why did the Capitol police decide to use teargas?

What does an American do after going to the Capitol?

25 to life

Trump said he's not going to pardon the Capitol rioters.

He only likes people who weren't captured.

What's the difference between the US Capitol and Mordor❓

One doesn't just stroll into Mordor

How do you get a trump supporter to wear a mask?

Convince them to storm the capitol building

You can explore capitol pennsylvania reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean capitol kurds dad jokes. There are also capitol puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call getting shot for attempted sedition?

Capitol Punishment

What do you get when a few thousand terrorists take over the Capitol?

Excuse me, they are called protesters.

Why were the capitol police late?

They did not beat the crowd...

Don't use Cops to protect the Capitol building!

Use barbers and hairdressers, the threat of a shave, shampoo and haircut should have most of them running for the hills!

Some protestors are breaking into congress

I hear it is a capitol offense

Capitol joke, Some protestors are breaking into congress

Why did the chicken go inside the Capitol Building?

There was supposed to be a coop

Adam Johnson, the man pictured carrying House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's lectern during the Capitol riot, has been arrested in Florida

His lawyer has confirmed that at trial he will not be taking the stand.

A woman gets called into her office HR department

They tell her that they noticed her password for her login was very unusual and asked her how she chose "DocGrumpyHappySleepyBashfulSneezyDopeySacarmento"

She said - "well the instructions were to have a password with seven characters and have at least one capitol, so I thought I was just following the rules"


I bumped into the governor when I visited the capitol

I said "Pardon me" then he quickly turned around and said "That will be five thousand dollars."

Whats the difference between Capitol and Area 51 raid?

People were not stupid enough to actually go inside of Area 51.

If you dressed up like a rodeo clown, broke into the capitol, and tried to destroy the democracy of the United States

You might be a redneck

They're now changing the name of America to america

They don't deserve the capitol.

Does anyone recall the guy in the superhero outfit at the Capitol on January 6th?

He was on the far right.

I always thought it would be fun to work at the State Capitol. Do you know how many people work at the Capitol..?

About half.

What do you call the the Head of the Washington D.C. Financial Ethics Board?

>!They would be the Capitol Capital Principle Principal!<

Capitol joke, What do you call the the Head of the Washington D.C. Financial Ethics Board?

Why were there so few capitol police during Jan 6th riots?

Well you can't make them work when they already booked the day off to attend the protest!

I wish there had been fashion police at the capitol the other day

They would have actually arrested people

I hear they are calling the riots yesterday 'The Capitol Blizzard'

Makes Sense....
They caused lots of destruction,
Was full of snowflakes,
And a whole lot of White.


A capitol wioter almost got awested and beaten by the cops today but don't worry

He's all white

I asked my wife if she wanted to role play tonight.

She could be the Capitol building, and I'd be a Trump protester.

"Look Dad! The clowns are leaving the circus to go get food!"

"Son how many times do I have to tell you? Those are called *Senators* leaving the *Capitol*"

Why didn't the Capitol-storming Trump supporters bring anything to quench their thirst?

Because before they got there they had already drank the 'Q'-laid.

Two Traitors Heading for the Capitol Building

Passenger asks "That bomb in the trunk was made by amateurs right?"

The driver responds "yup."

Passenger asks, a bit nervously, "Well what happens if that bomb just goes off?"

The driver responds with great confidence, "No problem at all".

"We have another one under the back seat."


Last night, I dreamt I was a black man who stormed the capitol

And I still got shot at.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the capitol tehran puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working capitol villages piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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