The Best 46 Capitalism Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Capitalism jokes. There are some capitalism capitalist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these capitalism capital blonde puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Capitalism Jokes and Puns

My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution

Could this be a red flag?

I bought a book on capitalism...

but then returned it because some of the letters were in lower-case.

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

Capitalism joke, Why are hippies against capitalism?

What's the difference between communism and capitalism?

In the former, man exploits man, in the latter, it's exactly the opposite.

Do Russians only write in lower case letters?

I mean, they hate Capitalism.

What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism?

No more jokes about the profit.

How many communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, we just sit in the dark complaining about capitalism.

But come the light-bulb revolution everything will be brighter.

Capitalism joke, How many communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters?

Because he hates capitalism.

What happens when you cross Islam with Capitalism?

No more jokes about the profit.

What do you call it when a white person robs you?


Socialism or Communism are the only path to evolution, and Capitalism is the root of all evil.

> Sent from my iPhone 7

You can explore capitalism commies reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean capitalism nikita dad jokes. There are also capitalism puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A teacher asks three of his students a question

"In your own words, what does capitalism mean?"

The American student asks "What does 'define' mean?"

The Russian student asks "What does 'capitalism' mean?"

The North Korean student asks "What does 'in your own words' mean?"

Fidel Castro just passed away...

...I suppose Black Friday was too MUCH capitalism for him.

Why do Communists only write in lowercase?

Because they hate Capitalism.

Capitalism has many problems but communism only has 3

- Breakfast
- Lunch
- Dinner

do commies write everything in lower case?

you know beacause they hate capitalism

Capitalism joke, do commies write everything in lower case?

A single bird can't destroy capitalism on his own

But toucan

What do my girlfriend and ethical capitalism have in common?

They don't exist

Capitalism, Communism, and Socialism have a meeting for afternoon tea

Communism collapses on the way there and dies from malnutrition. Socialism is so late from collecting welfare to buy the tea that he decides to go home. However, Capitalism - seeing that neither of the two showed up - buys his own tea, finishes his lunch break, and goes back to work.

Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?

Because he hated Capitalism

Is there a difference between capitalism and communism?

Yes, in principle. With capitalism, man exploits man. But with communism, it is precisely the opposite.

If I had a dollar for everything wrong with capitalism

... then I probably wouldn't be complaining about capitalism.

Under capitalism man exploits man...

Under communism the reverse is true

What is the difference between Capitalism and Communism?

It's the order of events,

In Capitalism the dad goes missing and then kids report,
while in Communism kids report then dad goes missing.

Why did the communist experiment with capitalism?

They were buy-curious.

Capitalism is dancing at the edge of the abyss.

Socialism, of course, is one step ahead of them.

Soviet joke

In capitalism, man exploits man. In glorious Russia workers state, is other way around.

What's the difference between Capitalism & Socialism?

With Capitalism, man exploits man.

And it's the opposite with Socialism.

What's the difference between Communism and Capitalism?

In Communism the government owns and runs and collects everything.
In Capitalism you own and run things and the government collects it for you.

You know, capitalism can be pretty complicated

But communism? Everyone gets it

Why does Karl Marx write in lowercase?

He hates capitalism

I finally understand the difference between capitalism, libertarianism, and socialism.

Capitalists hire libertarians to say socialism is bad. Socialists say capitalism is bad for free. And libertarians will say everyone else is bad as long as they get paid.

What's the difference between true communism and unhindered capitalism.

One spies on the people, removes privacy for the sake of the masses, and props up an establishment that serves only the lucky few.

And the other fortunately never caught on in America.

Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?

He was afraid of capitalism

How do you get rid of capitalism?

Just get rid of the shift and caps lock keys.

I was going to post a joke about Capitalism...

... but 99% of you can't afford to get it.

To teach my kids about capitalism...

...I made them pay for housing, food, and charged them to use the bathroom.

Then if they wanted to make any money, I had them compete against each other for who could do chores for the least amount of money.

Then when they unionised, I had the neighbour's kid do chores instead and gave them nothing.

What is the biggest problem with capitalism?


My russian boyfriend only writes in lowercase letters...

He doesn't like Capitalism

Ask Any Librarian, What's The Opposite of Capitalism?


It's not AOC it's aoc

because she doesn't like capitalism.

I hate capitalism,

so i always type my messages in lowercase. i also hate racism, and refuse to run 100 metres.

A struggling businessman named John approaches Yoda seeking financial advice

John asks Yoda How is it that I am not rich? I work 80 hours a week, I kiss up to my bosses, I avoid my family, I stay away from romantic relationships, I never go out with friends, and yet still, I am not wealthy. Everybody told me that under capitalism, if I worked hard enough, I too could be rich and powerful.

Yoda took a second to think. He then replied Ahhh yes. Cap, it all

You can make a capitalist poor and they'll still believe in Capitalism

But if you make a socialist rich, you have a new capitalist.

Difference between capitalism and communism

Q: What's the difference between capitalism and communism?
A: Under capitalism, Man exploits Man. Under communism, it is exactly the opposite.

Why do Soviets always write in lower-case?

Because they hate Capitalism.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the capitalism soviets jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working capitalism fascism piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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