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Capitalism Jokes

77 capitalism jokes and hilarious capitalism puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about capitalism that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

From Karl Marx to modern meme culture, this article brings together the most hilarious jokes about capitalism. Laugh along as you read through the jokes, quotes and memes about the economic system that shapes our world. Discover this revolutionary take on the classic capitalist vs. communist debate.

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Funniest Capitalism Short Jokes

Short capitalism jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The capitalism humour may include short capitalist jokes also.

  1. My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution Could this be a red flag?
  2. 62% of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital "Loo-uh-vul", while 38% say "Loo-ee-ville". Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.
  3. Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-iss-ville or Loo-ee-ville? Wrong. It's pronounced Frank-fort.
  4. Why does Ireland have the fastest growing economy in the world? Because its capital is Dublin all the time!
  5. The use of capitals can really change the meaning of a sentence Example:
    I like to eat candy
    I like to eat capitals
  6. I have decided to write all my jokes in capitals from now on. This one was written in London.
  7. You can make a capitalist poor and they'll still believe in Capitalism But if you make a socialist rich, you have a new capitalist.
  8. Capitalization can really change a sentence. For example:
    I love to eat candy.
    I love to eat capitalization.
  9. My joke about capital punishment got downvoted. I guess it was great concept, poor execution.
  10. What country's Capital has the fastest growing population in the world? Ireland. Everyday it's Dublin.

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Capitalism One Liners

Which capitalism one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with capitalism? I can suggest the ones about socialism and communism.

  1. What's the capital of Greece? About 5 euros.
  2. What's the capital of Zimbabwe? >!$1.37 USD!<
  3. Why did Stalin only write in lowercase? Because he hated Capitalism
  4. What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism? No more jokes about the profit.
  5. Why does Karl Marx write in lowercase? He hates capitalism
  6. Why are the irish so rich? Their capital is always Dublin. Hehe
  7. Why do spies never use capitalization? They like to stay low-key.
  8. Why is Ireland the richest country in the world? ...her capital has been Dublin for years
  9. Capitalism jokes aren't funny. Not everyone gets them.
  10. I thought of a joke about capitalism. But not all of you would get it.
  11. Do Russians only write in lower case letters? I mean, they hate Capitalism.
  12. Why is Communism one of the most ironic words? It's Capitalized
  13. What do you call it when a white person robs you? Capitalism.
  14. Why do Communists only write in lowercase? Because they hate Capitalism.
  15. From now on I will write all my jokes in capitals… This one was written in London

Capitalism joke, From now on I will write all my jokes in capitals…

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about capitalism can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of capitalism puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Heartwarming Capitalism Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about capitalism you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean economics jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make capitalism prank.

Password reset

A man was was unable to log into his online banking account and he pulled up the online chat support.
"I put in my password and I cannot access my account"
"Sorry that password has expired- you must register a new one."
"Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?"

"No, but your password has expired- you must get a new one."

"Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty well?"

"Well, you must get a new one as they automatically expire every 90 days."

"Can I use the old one and just re-register it?"

"No, you must get a new one."

"I don't want a new one as that is one more thing for me to remember."

"Sorry, you must get a new one."

"OK, roses."

"Sorry you must use more letters."

"OK, pretty roses"

"No good, you must use at least one numerical character."

"OK, 1 pretty rose"
"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."

"OK, 1prettyrose"

"Sorry, you must use additional characters."

"OK, 1fuckingprettyrose"

"Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter."

"OK,1FUCKINGprettyrose"

"Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row."

"OK, 1Fuckingprettyrose"

"Sorry, you cannot use that password as you must use additional letters."

"OK, 1Fuckingprettyroseshovedupyourassifyoudon'tgivemeaccessrightfuckingnow"
"Sorry, you cannot use that password as it is already being used"

A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.

He is the seoul breadwinner

I had a detention for only using uppercase letters today

s**... capital punishment

I asked the grammar police about a crime in the capital...

They told me that case was sensitive.

Capital letters...

...the difference between using chemicals to remove polish, and using chemicals to remove Polish.

Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters?

Because he hates capitalism.

A boy is studying for his geography quiz

His mom asks him:
"What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin", says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin."
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin."
"You're so smart, Adolf, I know you'll do great on your quiz."

What happens when you cross Islam with Capitalism?

No more jokes about the profit.

Geography class

-Whats the capital of Germany?
-Berlin teacher
-Whats the capital of France?
-Berlin again teacher
-Whats the capital of Poland?
-Still Berlin teacher
-Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography!
-We'll see about that

I have a job helping a one armed man type capitals.

It's shift work.

"Mom, mom, quiz me on capitals please!"

"Okay, what's the capital of Germany?"
"That's easy, Berlin."
"And the capital of France?"
"Berlin"
"And the one of Poland?"
"Also Berlin."
"Good job Adolf, good job!"

What do my girlfriend and ethical capitalism have in common?

They don't exist

Most Confusing Password

I was in a couple's home trying to fix their Internet connection. 
The husband called out to his wife 
in the other room for the computer password. Start with a capital S, then 123, she shouted back.
We tried S123 several times, but 
it didn't work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, I really don't know what's so difficult about typing Start123.

If I had a dollar for everything wrong with capitalism

... then I probably wouldn't be complaining about capitalism.

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."

Dear people who don't write capital letters,

We're the difference between helping your uncle j**... a horse and helping your uncle j**... a horse.

Where is the capital of Zimbabwe?

In a Swiss bank account.

I just read somewhere that capitalization is the difference between "I helped my uncle j**... a horse" and "i helped my uncle j**... a horse".

Well that's embarrassing. Now everyone thinks my uncle's name is Jack.

A young man helps his grandfather with his computer issues

His grandfather seems to be unable to set a password.
Trying to figure out the problem the young man looks at the password the old man is trying to set
His password is ParisLondonMickeyMouse
Puzzled by this, the man asks his grandfather why he wants to set this password anyways.
The grandfather simply replies: It wanted two capitals and a character .

I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.

It's shift work

Why did karl marx always spell his name in lowercase letters?

Because he wanted to abolish all forms of capital

The blonde's password

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals. She said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"

Her friend asked, "What's the capital of France?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."

Tried translating a joke from Latvian.

John, a rural farmer, decided to visit the zoo in the capital with his family. He has a lot of fun, and comes back ecstatic. His neighbor
Tolya asks him what he saw there.
"Well, I saw a giraffe."
"What's a giraffe?"
"Well, you know horses?"
"Yeah."
"It's like a horse, but really tall and with a long neck."
"Okay, what else?"
"Zebra."
"Zebra?"
"Well, you know horses?"
"Yeah."
"It's like a horse, but with stripes."
"Okay, what else then?"
"I saw a hippo. "
"What's that?"
"You know horses?"
"Yeah?"
"Like a horse, but big and fat."
"Hm. Okay. Anything else?"
"Yes... a crocodile."
"What's a crocodile?"
"You know horses?"
"Yeah?"
"Nothing like one."

My russian boyfriend only writes in lowercase letters...

He doesn't like Capitalism

It's not AOC it's aoc

because she doesn't like capitalism.

My father told me that his password is "MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldPlutoHueyLouieDeweyDublin"

Because he was told his password should contain at least 8 characters and one capital.

Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

**"VaderObiwanLukeBobafettGandalfFrodoGimliLegolasSacramento"**
When asked why he had such a long password, he rolled his eyes and said: *Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."*

Difference between capitalism and communism

Q: What's the difference between capitalism and communism?
A: Under capitalism, Man exploits Man. Under communism, it is exactly the opposite.

I had to reset my password, chicken, to have a capital in it

It's now chicken kiev

Why do Soviets always write in lower-case?

Because they hate Capitalism.

Struggles of passwords

Struggles of passwords
"Set password:"
carrot
"Password must be at least 8 characters."
boiled carrot
"Password must contain at least 1 number."
1 boiled carrot
"Password cannot contain spaces."
50boiledcarrots
"Password must contain at least 1 capital."
50FUCKINGBoiledcarrots
"Password cannot contain multiple consecutive capitals."
50FuckingBoiledCarrots
"Password cannot contain swear words"
IfYouDoNotAcceptThisPasswordThenYouCanStickThose50BoiledCarrotsUpYourButt
"This password is already in use."

I have a joke about capitalism

But I won't share it with you.

What's the alternative to capitalism?

Lowercase

WiFi password is Romeamsterdamparis all one word

Any capitals?
Yeah, three.

What city is the feminist capital of the world?

Manhatin'

Why are the Irish so wealthy?

Because their capital is always Dublin.

Capitalism joke, Why are the Irish so wealthy?

jokes about capitalism

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these capitalism jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.