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Capital Jokes

158 capital jokes and hilarious capital puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about capital that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article provides an entertaining take on capital-related puns from around the world. From play on words related to capital cities to puns about venture capital, readers can have a good laugh about the different interpretations of ‘capital’. Explore the wide range of witty puns related to state capitals, world capitals, capital radio, capital letters, and more.

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Funniest Capital Short Jokes

Short capital jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The capital humour may include short cash jokes also.

  1. My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution Could this be a red flag?
  2. 62% of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital "Loo-uh-vul", while 38% say "Loo-ee-ville". Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.
  3. Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-iss-ville or Loo-ee-ville? Wrong. It's pronounced Frank-fort.
  4. Why does Ireland have the fastest growing economy in the world? Because its capital is Dublin all the time!
  5. The use of capitals can really change the meaning of a sentence Example:
    I like to eat candy
    I like to eat capitals
  6. I have decided to write all my jokes in capitals from now on. This one was written in London.
  7. You can make a capitalist poor and they'll still believe in Capitalism But if you make a socialist rich, you have a new capitalist.
  8. Capitalization can really change a sentence. For example:
    I love to eat candy.
    I love to eat capitalization.
  9. My joke about capital punishment got downvoted. I guess it was great concept, poor execution.
  10. What country's Capital has the fastest growing population in the world? Ireland. Everyday it's Dublin.

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Capital One Liners

Which capital one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with capital? I can suggest the ones about currency and caps.

  1. What's the capital of Greece? About 5 euros.
  2. What's the capital of Zimbabwe? >!$1.37 USD!<
  3. Why did Stalin only write in lowercase? Because he hated Capitalism
  4. What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism? No more jokes about the profit.
  5. Why does Karl Marx write in lowercase? He hates capitalism
  6. Why are the irish so rich? Their capital is always Dublin. Hehe
  7. Why do spies never use capitalization? They like to stay low-key.
  8. Why is Ireland the richest country in the world? ...her capital has been Dublin for years
  9. Capitalism jokes aren't funny. Not everyone gets them.
  10. I thought of a joke about capitalism. But not all of you would get it.
  11. Do Russians only write in lower case letters? I mean, they hate Capitalism.
  12. Why is Communism one of the most ironic words? It's Capitalized
  13. What do you call it when a white person robs you? Capitalism.
  14. Why do Communists only write in lowercase? Because they hate Capitalism.
  15. From now on I will write all my jokes in capitals… This one was written in London

Capital Letter Jokes

Here is a list of funny capital letter jokes and even better capital letter puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My russian boyfriend only writes in lowercase letters... He doesn't like Capitalism
  • Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters? Because he hates capitalism.
  • Why did karl marx always spell his name in lowercase letters? Because he wanted to abolish all forms of capital
  • I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It's shift work
  • Capital letters... ...the difference between using chemicals to remove polish, and using chemicals to remove Polish.
  • New job I recently got a new job assisting a one-armed typist with capital letters. It was shift work
  • Why do Russians always use lower case letters? Because they hate capitalizing.
  • I bought a book on capitalism... but then returned it because some of the letters were in lower-case.
  • I've got a new job. I'm helping out a one-armed typist whenever she needs to type a capital letter. It's shift work
  • Why do Communists Type in Lowercase Letters Because they are anti-capitalism

Capital Letters Jokes

Here is a list of funny capital letters jokes and even better capital letters puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I had a job once. It entailed helping a one-armed typist do capital letters.
    It was shift work.
  • I've just gotten a part-time job helping a one-armed man type capital letters... It's shift work.
  • I just got a job typing capital letters for a one-armed secretary She's really nice, but I can't stand the shift work.
  • Anybody know someone that wants to buy letter openers, staplers, pens, and other office supplies? Most of it is labeled with Capital Hill or U.S. Senate but it's all usable. Let me know! Thanks.
  • Things I hate These are 5 things I hate.
    1. people not using capital letters.
    Two. People who aren't consistent
    3 People who dont use proper grammar.
    4.peoplewhodon'tusespacesm
    5. Cliffha-
  • I invented a diet. It's called the lowercase diet. Don't eat foods with capital letters. Works best if you're German!
  • I used to have a part time job helping a one-armed typist write capital letters It was shift work.
  • My teacher randomly capitalizes letters on an assignment when someone misbehaves It's their capital punishment
  • Capital letters can really change the meaning of a sentence. For example :
    John eats pancakes everyday for breakfast.
    John eats capital letters everyday for breakfast.
  • Older people are easier to make laugh. Young people are like Google passwords. . . It needs to be have a special character, a capital letter , a number and you can't use the same as last time.
Capital joke, Older people are easier to make laugh. Young people are like Google passwords. . .

World Capital Jokes

Here is a list of funny world capital jokes and even better world capital puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • why is Alabama the sandwich capital of the world? Because everything is inbread
  • Why is Ireland the richest country in the world? Because their capital is always Dublin.
  • The capital of Ireland is the world's fastest growing city.. It's Dublin every year.
  • What's the fastest growing city in the world? The capital of Ireland. It keeps Dublin and Dublin and Dublin.
  • What city is the feminist capital of the world? Manhatin'
  • Did you guys hear that Ireland has the fastest growing economy in the world? Yeah, their capital is always Dublin
  • Did you know that Ireland is the richest country in the world? It's capital has been Dublin for a long time.
  • Ireland takes the Lead Did you know the population of Ireland is growing faster than any other country in the world?
    The capital's been Dublin for decades.
  • What's the wealthiest country in the world? Ireland, because it's capital is always Dublin.
  • Which country in the world has the largest capital It's Ireland, because it's capital is always 'Dublin'
    (My PE teachers son came up with this one)

Capital Cities Jokes

Here is a list of funny capital cities jokes and even better capital cities puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The founding fathers of Canada are sitting in front of a map filling in names for cities... Pierre: "I suppose the capital there should have a name, too, me."
    Gaton "ought to, uh?"
  • Do you know what Irish City is seeing the biggest population growth? It is their capital. It is Dublin (doubling)...
  • What's the capital city of Yemen? Yea boi
  • My friend asked me how I was enjoying my visit in Oklahoma's state capital I said, "It's an OK city."
  • How is it, that the capital city of USA is also the place of most successful laundry bussines? Because they're washing tons.
  • Did you know that Haiti changed its capital after the 2010 earthquake? It became "The City Formerly Known as Port-au-Prince"
  • Which blood type do most of the people in Taiwan's capital city have? Taipei
  • Which capital city has the largest population? Ireland. Everyday it's Dublin.
  • What's Macho Man r**... Savage's favourite capital city? Skopje!!
Capital joke, What's Macho Man r**... Savage's favourite capital city?

Rib-Tickling Capital Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about capital you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean investment jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make capital pranks.

TIL about a method of capital punishment called the Roman Candle. Victims were tied to a stake and covered in a flammable resin. The burning bodies would sometimes be used to provide lighting for evening parties.

Great idea; terrible execution.

The year is 2219

A dishevelled white haired man crosses the desert that was once the English Channel from the United Kingdom of England to visit the capital of the Eurasian Empire in Brussels. As has been the case for 200 years, he delivers an unsigned letter and returns home, only to repeat the process again the next year. The true meaning of the ritual is lost in the annals of history but many believe it goes back to the days of a mythical quest they called Brexit.

Don't forget capital letters...

In the world of high-tech gadgetry, more and more people who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:
"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle j**... a horse, and helping your uncle j**... a horse."

In Lomé, the capital of a small African country, there are no sit-down restaurants.

All the food is Togo.

e.e. cummings went into a store to buy 17 pounds worth of goods.

He forgot his wallet, but he took his pen and wrote four words down on an accounting ledger. i'm not gonna tell you what the words were, but they paid the bill and he got two vowels and a capital back.

The President meets with 50 top recruits from each branch of the armed forces...

And says "Welcome! I want to give you all an opportunity to explore the capital of our great nation before we begin the tour of the White House. We'll meet here at 4:00...
For those of you in the Army, that'll be at sixteen hundred hours,
For those of you in the Navy, that'll be at eight bells,
And for those of you in the Marines, the little hand will be on the four and the big hand will be on the twelve."

Capitalisation

It is the difference between "I helped my uncle j**... a horse," and "I helped my uncle j**... a horse."

I have no problem with Capital Punishment in theory....

I just have problems with its execution.

I asked my daughter what the capital of Australia is.

She said A.

Why is Ireland so rich?

Because their capital is always Dublin.

The other day someone asked me what the capital of greece was....

My answer of "i dont know, about ten dollars?" was not acceptable.

A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.

He is the seoul breadwinner

I had a detention for only using uppercase letters today

s**... capital punishment

From an English Professor.

"In the world of hi-tech gadgetry , I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the practice of using capital letters.
The use of capitals , known as capitalization , is the difference between helping your Uncle j**... a horse, and helping your uncle j**... a horse.
Is everybody clear on that ?"

I asked the grammar police about a crime in the capital...

They told me that case was sensitive.

A boy is studying for his geography quiz

His mom asks him:
"What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin", says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin."
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin."
"You're so smart, Adolf, I know you'll do great on your quiz."

Geography class

-Whats the capital of Germany?
-Berlin teacher
-Whats the capital of France?
-Berlin again teacher
-Whats the capital of Poland?
-Still Berlin teacher
-Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography!
-We'll see about that

If we took Korea's capital away ...

They would be Seoulless

Why is everyone investing in Ireland?

... because the capital is always Dublin!

Capitalization is important

There's a big difference between helping your Uncle j**... a horse and helping your uncle j**... a horse.

What is the capital of the United States?

Half of what it was last week

The judge told me I might get capital punishment for my crimes, and asked me if I knew what it meant..

I didn't, so I told him to use it in a sentence.

A Blonde calls tech support

She is told that in order to get help, they need her password.
She says that the password is "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why she had chosen such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

Capitalism has many problems but communism only has 3

- Breakfast
- Lunch
- Dinner

"Mom, mom, quiz me on capitals please!"

"Okay, what's the capital of Germany?"
"That's easy, Berlin."
"And the capital of France?"
"Berlin"
"And the one of Poland?"
"Also Berlin."
"Good job Adolf, good job!"

Dad, my Geography teacher Adolf will give me a quiz tomorrow.

Sure Hans. Let me ask you some questions.
Capital of Germany? Berlin
Capital of France? Berlin
Capital of Russia? Berlin
Capital of Poland? Berlin
Capital of USA? Tokyo
Capital of China? Tokyo
Hotel? Trivago
That's my boy.

Capitalization...

Is what defines wether you're helping your Uncle j**... a horse, or you're helping your Uncle j**... a horse.

Catwoman don't know the capital of Nepal...

but Kathmandu!

"What's the capital of Alaska?"

\- "Juneau".
\- "No, I don't, that's why I'm asking".

Most Confusing Password

I was in a couple's home trying to fix their Internet connection. 
The husband called out to his wife 
in the other room for the computer password. Start with a capital S, then 123, she shouted back.
We tried S123 several times, but 
it didn't work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, I really don't know what's so difficult about typing Start123.

Which country's capital has the fastest population growth?

Ireland, because it's always Dublin.

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."

If pakistan is an Islamic country.....

Then why is its capital called Islama**bad**?

Dear people who don't write capital letters,

We're the difference between helping your uncle j**... a horse and helping your uncle j**... a horse.

ISIS lost a capital today

ISIs

A mother is helping her son revise for a geography exam

She asks "What's the Capital of Germany?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then asks "What's the Capital of France?"
He replies "Berlin."
She asks "What's the Capital of Russia?"
He replies "Berlin."
She finally asks "What's the Capital of Poland?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then hugs him and says "I'm sure you'll do great, Adolf"

Where is the capital of North Korea?

In a Swiss bank account

Where is the capital of Zimbabwe?

In a Swiss bank account.

Did you know that the best leaders are born and bred in the capital of taiwan?

They all have Taipei personalities.

A young boy was getting ready for a geography test he was going to take at school.

As he studied, he decided to ask his mother for help:
"Mom, will you help me revise for my geography test?"
"Sure honey, let's see... what's the capital of Germany?'
"Berlin!"
"Good job! What about the capital of France?"
"Berlin!"
"Way to go! What's the capital of the US?"
"Berlin!"
"Good job, little Adolf!"

IF I SCAM SOMEONE WITH CAPS LOCK ON..

IS IT A CAPITAL CRIME?

What do you call a water barrier constructed for rodents in the capital of the Netherlands?

An Amsterdam Hamster Dam

Me and my friend Kyle visited Berlin

When we visited the capital building, I shouted See Kyle? And pointed at the building.
I got arrested after that for no reason.

In the geography class:

-What is the capital of Germany?
-Berlin!
-What is the capital of Poland?
-Berlin!
-What is the capital of France?
-Berlin!
-Good job, Adolf!

Did you hear about the country with the fastest growing capital?

It's Ireland - every day it's Dublin.

You know, capitalism can be pretty complicated

But communism? Everyone gets it

In capitalist America...

Bank robs you!

The blonde's password

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

Do you know why I named my stomach "Budapest"?

Because it is the Capital of Hungary!

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals. She said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"

Her friend asked, "What's the capital of France?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."

Which country's capital has the fastest growing population?

Ireland. Everday it's Dublin.


\*Idk if this has been on here yet. My co worker told me this and I about had a s**....\*

Why is Ireland a good investment ?

Cause its capital is dublin'

A Belarusian joke

A guy is walking down the street in Minsk, the capital of Belarus very close to the protests when suddenly a police car full of cops pulls up. The cops jump out of the car and start beating up the guy.
The poor guy then yells: "No, please, stop! I voted for Lukashenko!"
One of the cops then responds: "Shut up, liar! No one voted for Lukashenko!"

~Enter new password.

- chicken.
~Password must contain at least one capital.
- chicken kiev

Tried translating a joke from Latvian.

John, a rural farmer, decided to visit the zoo in the capital with his family. He has a lot of fun, and comes back ecstatic. His neighbor
Tolya asks him what he saw there.
"Well, I saw a giraffe."
"What's a giraffe?"
"Well, you know horses?"
"Yeah."
"It's like a horse, but really tall and with a long neck."
"Okay, what else?"
"Zebra."
"Zebra?"
"Well, you know horses?"
"Yeah."
"It's like a horse, but with stripes."
"Okay, what else then?"
"I saw a hippo. "
"What's that?"
"You know horses?"
"Yeah?"
"Like a horse, but big and fat."
"Hm. Okay. Anything else?"
"Yes... a crocodile."
"What's a crocodile?"
"You know horses?"
"Yeah?"
"Nothing like one."

Pakistan is such a weird country

It's a Muslim country but their capital is Islamabad?

A blonde says "Not all blondes are s**..., and I can prove it!"

"...Give me any state, and I'll tell you it's capital."
A person yells out, "Missouri!"
"M" replies the blonde.

Matthew McConaughey was spotted during the Capital Hill protests

When asked to comment what he saw he simply said,
Alt Right, Alt Right, Alt Right

What's the difference between the Trump kids and the capital rioters?

Donald actually loves and supports the rioters!

The FBI recently found a common link amoung those that stormed the capital on the January 6th riots.

Turns out they all shop at Traitor Joes.

My father told me that his password is "MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldPlutoHueyLouieDeweyDublin"

Because he was told his password should contain at least 8 characters and one capital.

Has anyone noticed that (i) looks like (I) that's been beheaded?

Capital punishment?

Capital joke, Has anyone noticed that (i) looks like (I) that's been beheaded?

jokes about capital