Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Capacity Jokes
What do you call a man who's lost 75% of his brain capacity?
Divorced.
What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
One US leader.
Overcrowded church
The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.
After a few moments, there were only three people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."
What's the difference between dark matter and Black Lives Matter?
Dark matter has the capacity to leave an impact on a system
b**... 1: Sir, the river is running at full capacity with no obstruction!
b**... 2: d**...!
Thank you.
I read the post from u/AndiPandi92 about how she woke her dad up every morning with a joke from this subreddit. It is a beautiful post as are the comments. It inspired me to do the same for my dad. I already see him once a week - he has had seven strokes, can hardly talk but has an enormous brain capacity - very sharp and an easy laugh. I have told him jokes for two days and both times he laughed so tears fell down his cheeks (my mom told me afterwards) and he say thank you afterwards.
So thank you from me and my dad - you are all awesome ❤
How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution
My son kept chewing on electrical cables so I finally had to ground him
Of course he denied the charge first, but later I found him coiled up in his room.
He's conducting himself better now, so I think that worked out.
Well that's the current situation anyways, but there's definitely potential for greater resistance.
Some days I just feel like I don't have the capacity for raising kids.
He can be a real live wire sometimes.
A drunk n**... woman boards a cab
Driver of the cab keeps staring at her and does not start the cab.
Woman: Haven't you ever seen a n**... woman before?
Cab Driver: Cool down, Ma'am. I am not staring at you. I am just wondering as to where you have kept the money to pay me?
This is what most financial institutions fail to do - Assessing repayment capacity before enjoying exposure.
Bar ad:
Due to the need for social distancing, the bar is operating at 1/3 of its capacity. Therefore, we kindly ask those who cannot drink for three to leave and give way to the professionals!
From 1 to 10 how do you rate your capacity to adapt to new technologies
IV
You can explore capacity institutions reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean capacity planck dad jokes. There are also capacity puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I found the meaning of life!
noun
the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.
What do you call a s**... bank above maximum capacity?
Overloaded
Another google meme...
Me: what is the meaning of life?
Google:
*noun*
1. 1.the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death."the origins of life"
2. 2.the existence of an individual human being or animal."a disaster that claimed the lives of 266 Americans"
How do you quadruple the capacity of a gay bar?
Turn all the stools upside down.
(Not trying to offend anyone, just a raunchy joke I heard from my GFs dad)
You know why you write etc. in the exam?
It's because it stands for end of thinking capacity.
What do you call a truck with only five Mexican passengers?
Under capacity
Bank heists are the lowest among the countries with the highest inflation.
Thieves don't have enough capacity in the vehicles to load enough cash.
I am sixteen but I have the mental capacity of a one hundred twenty-three year old
I am not smart just dead inside
I've got the brain capacity to figure out time travel
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face.
...for instance when you push them down the stairs.
