Capacity Jokes

25 capacity jokes and hilarious capacity puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about capacity that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with these funny capacity jokes that explore the funny side of volume and capacity, quantum, bandwidth, and institutions. From simple puns to hilarious one-liners, these jokes will have you and your friends in stitches!

Funniest Capacity Short Jokes

Short capacity jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The capacity humour may include short ability jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between dark matter and Black Lives Matter? Dark matter has the capacity to leave an impact on a system
  2. How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution
  3. Bar ad: Due to the need for social distancing, the bar is operating at 1/3 of its capacity. Therefore, we kindly ask those who cannot drink for three to leave and give way to the professionals!
  4. How do you quadruple the capacity of a gay bar? Turn all the stools upside down.
    (Not trying to offend anyone, just a raunchy joke I heard from my GFs dad)
  5. You know why you write etc. in the exam? It's because it stands for end of thinking capacity.
  6. Bank heists are the lowest among the countries with the highest inflation. Thieves don't have enough capacity in the vehicles to load enough cash.
  7. I am sixteen but I have the mental capacity of a one hundred twenty-three year old I am not smart just dead inside
  8. Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face. ...for instance when you push them down the stairs.
  9. b**... 1: Sir, the river is running at full capacity with no obstruction! b**... 2: d**...!

Share These Capacity Jokes With Friends

Capacity One Liners

Which capacity one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with capacity? I can suggest the ones about facility and inventory.

  1. What do you call a man who's lost 75% of his brain capacity? Divorced.
  2. What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader.
  3. From 1 to 10 how do you rate your capacity to adapt to new technologies IV
  4. What do you call a truck with only five Mexican passengers? Under capacity
  5. I've got the brain capacity to figure out time travel
  6. Time to ban High Capacity Assault Vehicles? how else could we stop this?
  7. Can you even work your smartphone? In what capacity?
  8. How many jews could get in to the cab? It depends on ashtrays capacity.
  9. What it really means when we say "Etc." End of Thinking Capacity
  10. Yearning > Earning Mamma's yearning capacity is greater than papa's earning capacity.
  11. What do you call a s**... bank above maximum capacity? Overloaded

Capacity joke, What do you call a s**... bank above maximum capacity?

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Capacity Jokes

What funny jokes about capacity you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean power jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make capacity pranks.

Overcrowded church

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.
After a few moments, there were only three people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."

Thank you.

I read the post from u/AndiPandi92 about how she woke her dad up every morning with a joke from this subreddit. It is a beautiful post as are the comments. It inspired me to do the same for my dad. I already see him once a week - he has had seven strokes, can hardly talk but has an enormous brain capacity - very sharp and an easy laugh. I have told him jokes for two days and both times he laughed so tears fell down his cheeks (my mom told me afterwards) and he say thank you afterwards.
So thank you from me and my dad - you are all awesome ❤

Why banks fail

Why banks failed?
A n**... & drunk woman boards a cab in America.
Driver of the cab, keeps staring at her and does not start the cab
Woman: Haven't you seen a n**... woman before?
Cabbie: calm down. I am not staring at you. I am just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me?
This is what most of the banks failed to do. Assessing the repayment capacity before enjoying exposure…

My son kept chewing on electrical cables so I finally had to ground him

Of course he denied the charge first, but later I found him coiled up in his room.
He's conducting himself better now, so I think that worked out.
Well that's the current situation anyways, but there's definitely potential for greater resistance.
Some days I just feel like I don't have the capacity for raising kids.
He can be a real live wire sometimes.

A drunk n**... woman boards a cab

Driver of the cab keeps staring at her and does not start the cab.
Woman: Haven't you ever seen a n**... woman before?
Cab Driver: Cool down, Ma'am. I am not staring at you. I am just wondering as to where you have kept the money to pay me?
This is what most financial institutions fail to do - Assessing repayment capacity before enjoying exposure.

I found the meaning of life!

the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.

Capacity joke, What do you call a s**... bank above maximum capacity?