The Best 40 Capable Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Capable jokes. There are some capable capability jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these capable suitable puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Capable Jokes and Puns

I said to my girlfriend.....

I said to my girlfriend, "Now remember, my mother is very old, so speak nice and slow and very loud."

Then I said to my perfectly capable mother, "By the way, my girlfriend is slightly retarded."

What fun that was...

Why did the old pirate decide to give up a-plunderin?

He just wanted to move on, start a new chapter in his life. Sometimes things happen like this, and it's a nice reminder that we are all capable of change. Sure it's tough, some people in your life might move on from how they used to be - but this doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. The pirate may stop a-plunderin, but he's still the same person. He's still your friend. He'll always be there for you.

Why did the mushroom go to the party?

It didn't. Fungus is not capable of having a social life.

Capable joke, Why did the mushroom go to the party?

People say that we are years away AI capable of emotion,

But if the pure spite that is written into printer software is any indication, I'd say we're already there.

What's the most capable element?

Tin, because tin can.


I heard it took at least two elephants to make the keys on my antique piano

I had no idea they were capable of such delicate work.

Science fact!

There is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house. This is largely due to the antelope's powerful hind-legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.

Capable joke, Science fact!

I don't think a wooden structure is capable of holding up my books.

I have low shelf-confidence.

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so i killed him before he could cause any harm.

The TSA just announced they're banning erasers on flights.

They're capable of math destruction.

The kind of woman that ya make your wife.

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

You can explore capable increase reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean capable uncanny dad jokes. There are also capable puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I always look for a woman who has a tattoo.

Because then I would know she is capable of making decisions she will regret in the future.

If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattering

Then halloween and thanksgiving would fall on the same day

A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them.

He names the weapon "Ambu-lance"

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

It wasn't. Numbers aren't capable of having any sort of feelings, and you are weird for thinking they do.

When I'm at a bar

I always look for a girl who has a tattoo. I see a tattoo, and I think, here's a girl who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

Capable joke, When I'm at a bar

I've built a spice catapult that is capable of seasoning a steak from a distance of 100 yards.

It's a little hard to aim but there's no sense crying over every missed steak.

TIL Humans are only capable of a maximum of 150 friends at one time.

Except for Dave: obviously.

A man says to his psychologist...

"I keep thinking about killing my wife. Sometimes, I even mime out bashing her brains in with a brick"

"I'm absolutely certain that you're not capable of that" replied the psychologist.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, judging by what you've told me, she's far too hardheaded for that to work"


I resent the idea that the Irish are all violent drunks.

We're perfectly capable of violence when sober, thank you very much.

One day, a university lecturer is talking to his students about telekinesis...

"All those capable of telekinesis, raise my hand."

A boy was a victim of domestic abuse and was told hey could allow anyone to have custody of him

He chose the Dallas Cowboys because they're not capable of beating anyone

What do trump and a black hole have in common?

They're both not very bright but still capable of destroying the earth.

Dems haven't won a senate seat in Alabama since 1992

Unlike Roy Moore, they were capable of waiting 25 years.

I once knew a Colombian conductor.

He was arrested for the murder of a passenger and in his confession he said he did it because the passenger was wearing pink shoes. I never would have thought that he was capable of something like this, but I must admit he had a locomotive.

Do you know how to sink a Russian submarine?

The Russians are perfectly capable of sinking their submarines themselves

If I could recommend Mark Zuckerberg two movies they would be..

Wall-E & The Iron Giant. So I can show him that robots are capable of emotions

Did you know that there's a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house?

This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can't jump

It took me almost a decade of marriage and several failed attempts of trying to realise it

Im not capable of making dad jokes

What does Taliban and North Korea have in common?

Bombs that are only capable of blowing themselves up.

I knew I was capable of circumcising wolverine.

I just needed hubris.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag...

In the sense that you know you're capable of choking a toddler at any moment?

Im capable of masturbating with either hand. I guess you can call me

Ambi-dicks-trous.

Did you ever wonder...

how many animals our ancestors had to sit on before they learned that horses were the most capable?

I had a disagreement with my girlfriend while she was pmsing

She:" You better stop fighting. You know what I'm capable of right?"
Me: Yes..bloodshed.

Period jokes are not funny. Period.

Cockroaches are found to be capable in surviving a nuclear holocaust, but if you swat it with a newspaper it would die instantly

This shows how toxic the media is

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could do any harm

The big race

It was the day of the big race. Usain Bolt was going to run against a cheetah, the world's fastest animal, capable of reaching speeds of up to 70 mph!

People knew Usain didn't stand a chance, but watched anyway. At last, they were off, and in a matter of seconds the race was over - amazingly, Usain Bolt came out victorious!!!

Because...cheetah's never win.

Sadly today we left our beloved grandma in the capable hands of the Undertaker...

He hit her with a tough clothesline and a chokeslam to boot, and finally hit her with the Tombstone piledriver for the win, best match I've ever seen!

I like my men how I like my coffee...

Extremely hot and capable of severely injuring my throat

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the capable knack jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working capable sentient piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes