Capable Jokes
43 capable jokes and hilarious capable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about capable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Capable Short Jokes
Short capable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The capable humour may include short skilled jokes also.
- My daughter asked why I drink so much beer I told her it's because I actually have a condition that's pretty unfortunate. You see, my body is actually not capable of producing its own alcohol.
- Cockroaches are found to be capable in surviving a nuclear holocaust, but if you swat it with a newspaper it would die instantly This shows how toxic the media is
- Did you know that there's a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can't jump
- Did you ever wonder... how many animals our ancestors had to sit on before they learned that horses were the most capable?
- I don't think a wooden structure is capable of holding up my books. I have low shelf-confidence.
- I had a disagreement with my girlfriend while she was pmsing She:" You better stop fighting. You know what I'm capable of right?"
Me: Yes..bloodshed.
Period jokes are not funny. Period. - I can't wait for an AI to reach 10% of the capabilities of the average human. Then we can replace all of Congress with a single AI.
- Dems haven't won a senate seat in Alabama since 1992 Unlike Roy Moore, they were capable of waiting 25 years.
- It took me almost a decade of marriage and several failed attempts of trying to realise it Im not capable of making dad jokes
- I've built a spice catapult that is capable of seasoning a steak from a distance of 100 yards. It's a little hard to aim but there's no sense crying over every missed steak.
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Capable One Liners
Which capable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with capable? I can suggest the ones about accomplished and ability.
- What's the most capable element? Tin, because tin can.
- I put horns on my laptop to improve it's RAM capability
- I got fired from Petco for a spoonerism. I meant to say capable runt!
- Im capable of m**... with either hand. I guess you can call me Ambi-d**...-trous.
- I knew I was capable of circumcising wolverine. I just needed hubris.
Hilarious Capable Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about capable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean talented jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make capable pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I said to my girlfriend.....
I said to my girlfriend, "Now remember, my mother is very old, so speak nice and slow and very loud."
Then I said to my perfectly capable mother, "By the way, my girlfriend is slightly r**...."
What fun that was...
A guy is walking down the street and passes a hardware store...
...advertising a sale on a chain saw that is capable of cutting seven hundred trees is seven hours. The guy thinks this is a great deal and decides to buy one.
The next day, he comes back with the saw and complains to the salesman that the thing didn't even come close to cutting down the seven hundred trees the ad said it would.
"Well," said the salesman, "let's test it out back."
Finding a log, the salesman pulls the starter cord and the saw makes a great roaring sound.
"What's that noise?" asks the guy.
Why did the old pirate decide to give up a-plunderin?
He just wanted to move on, start a new chapter in his life. Sometimes things happen like this, and it's a nice reminder that we are all capable of change. Sure it's tough, some people in your life might move on from how they used to be - but this doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. The pirate may stop a-plunderin, but he's still the same person. He's still your friend. He'll always be there for you.
Hello jokesters, I started a "joke of the day" at my work and after 5 days I have run out of material. I need your punny help (needs to be PG)
Examples of what I have been using: "what happened to the frog's car when it broke down? It was TOAD away" and "did you hear about the crazy mexican train killer? It was a LOCOmotive". I realized I'm not really that capable of coming up with good puns on my own so I need your help. And I'm sure some of you will recognize those jokes as I got them from the interwebs. Thanks a bunch.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
It didn't. f**... is not capable of having a social life.
People say that we are years away AI capable of emotion,
But if the pure spite that is written into printer software is any indication, I'd say we're already there.
I heard it took at least two elephants to make the keys on my antique piano
I had no idea they were capable of such delicate work.
The TSA just announced they're banning erasers on flights.
They're capable of math destruction.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The kind of woman that ya make your wife.
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattering
Then halloween and thanksgiving would fall on the same day
A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them.
He names the weapon "Ambu-lance"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
It wasn't. Numbers aren't capable of having any sort of feelings, and you are weird for thinking they do.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I'm at a bar
I always look for a girl who has a tattoo. I see a tattoo, and I think, here's a girl who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
TIL Humans are only capable of a maximum of 150 friends at one time.
Except for Dave: obviously.
One day, a university lecturer is talking to his students about telekinesis...
"All those capable of telekinesis, raise my hand."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy was a victim of domestic a**... and was told hey could allow anyone to have custody of him
He chose the Dallas Cowboys because they're not capable of beating anyone
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do trump and a black hole have in common?
They're both not very bright but still capable of destroying the earth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once knew a Colombian conductor.
He was arrested for the m**... of a passenger and in his confession he said he did it because the passenger was wearing pink shoes. I never would have thought that he was capable of something like this, but I must admit he had a locomotive.
If I could recommend Mark Zuckerberg two movies they would be..
Wall-E & The Iron Giant. So I can show him that robots are capable of emotions
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde is looking for a job
On the first day she applied for a clerk in a business firm and had an interview. When she's finished the manager said,"I'm afraid you're not capable of the duty."
On the second day she applied for the McDonald's and had an interview. The manager kicked her out and said,"you dumb get lost."
Her friends laughed at her and don't think she would ever get a job.
On the third day she proudly announced to her friends that she earned a job at a research centre. Everyone was amazed, asked"what research centre?"
The blonde smiled and and answered with great confidence,"a human intellgence research centre."
"What is your post then?"
"The research subject."
What does Taliban and North Korea have in common?
Bombs that are only capable of blowing themselves up.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag...
In the sense that you know you're capable of choking a toddler at any moment?
The big race
It was the day of the big race. Usain Bolt was going to run against a cheetah, the world's fastest animal, capable of reaching speeds of up to 70 mph!
People knew Usain didn't stand a chance, but watched anyway. At last, they were off, and in a matter of seconds the race was over - amazingly, Usain Bolt came out victorious!!!
Because...cheetah's never win.
Sadly today we left our beloved grandma in the capable hands of the Undertaker...
He hit her with a tough clothesline and a chokeslam to boot, and finally hit her with the Tombstone piledriver for the win, best match I've ever seen!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my men how I like my coffee...
Extremely hot and capable of severely injuring my t**...
