The Best 35 Cap Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cap jokes. There are some cap sweatshirts jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cap camo puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cap Jokes and Puns

A joke about golfers.

Two men were playing golf one afternoon when just as they are about to play an important putt on the final hole for the match a large funeral procession passes by on the road at the side of the golf course. One of the men stops in mid putt, removes his cap, bows his head in prayer. The second man retorts "Woah man, that was really respectful". "Well, we had been married for over 25 years" said the other man.

I bought myself a new deodorant stick this morning.

The instructions say " remove cap and push up bottom ".

I can't walk very well at the moment, but every time I fart, the room smells incredible.

I purchased a deodorant stick today

Instructions say, Remove cap and push up bottom
I can hardly walk but the room smells lovely when I fart.

Two men are playing golf. One of them is about to take a swing when a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in respect.

His golfing buddy says "That must be the most touching thing I've ever seen. You are a very compassionate and kind man."

The man, recovering himself, replies, "Yeah, well we were married 25 years."

Two men are golfing at a local golf course

The first man is about to putt when he sees a long funeral procession right near the course. He stops mid-putt, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in prayer.

The second man is in awe. "Wow, that is the most touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."


Did you know that you can fit any boat on your head like a hat, if you flip it over?

That makes it cap sized

I got a new stick of deodorant today.

The instructions said 'remove cap and push up bottom'

I can barely walk, but when I fart the room smells wonderful

Trump says he'll put a cap on immigrants coming into the USβ€”I don't approve.

Immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.

Two men playing golf (a favourite of mine)

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

I bought a new deodorant yesterday.

The instructions say "Remove cap and push up bottom." Wouldn't it be better to put it under your arms?

My grandma had a scare when she felt a lump under her breast

Turns out it was just her knee cap

You can explore cap helmet reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cap outfit dad jokes. There are also cap puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Three Bills at a bar

Three men, one from America, one from Australia and one from Russia were sitting at a bar. To show off, the American picks up his revolver, shoots the cap off his bottle of beer, and proudly exlaims:

"My name is Bill. Buffalo Bill."

The Australian, not wanting to be any less of a man, picks up his boomerang and gives it a swing across the bar. It does a big circle, and on its way back it knocks the cap off his beer as well. He then says:

"My name is Bill. Crocodile Bill."

The Russian looks around nervously, then pulls his pants down, and proudly shows his two penises. He then says:

"My name is Bill. Cherno Bill."

A Polish joke

A Polish man named Wojciech was fed up with being called a dumb Polack by every one he met. So one day he decided to pretend to be German. Wearing Liederhosen, knee socks and a feathered cap, he walked into a shop and told the man behind the counter:

"Hello my name is Rolf and I would like to buy some schnitzel, some saurbraten, some pretzels and some beer."

The counterman said "Get outta here you dumb Polack!".

Wojciech cried, "No no no! I am German! Don't you see my Liederhosen? Why do you think I am Polish?"

The counterman says "This is a hardware store."

A pianist performing in a subway terminal...

was playing beautifully. I was only offput by the weird looking kid with a dunce cap sitting atop the piano.

Suddenly, the weird looking kid with the dunce cap jumped up and scurried off. The piano player abruptly stopped playing.

I asked him, "why did you stop playing?"

To which he replied, "I cannot play piano without my metro-gnome."

I got stopped by a woman cop with "LAPD" on her cap

I said, where's your colleague with "ANCE" on hers?

Two men are playing golf near a country road...

When they see a funeral procession go by. One of them stops playing, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The other says "thats very decent of you, to stop playing and pay your respects." The first one responds "Well I'd think so; we were married for 52 years."

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course...

One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.

The man then replies: Yeah, well we were married 35 years.

Just bought a new deodorant...

The instructions say 'remove cap and push up bottom.'

...which helps with the smell, admittedly, but hurts a lot!

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder...

He orders a beer.

Popping off the cap, the bartender says Wow! Where did you get that?

The parrot replies, Africa.


What does a barista wear?

A cap and chinos.

My next door neighbour knocked my door last night, wearing lingerie and stockings. Asked to borrow a cup of sugar and if I wanted to come over for a night cap

I said, 'Fuck off Dave, I've got work in the bloody morning' .

I got a new deodorant today.

The instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom".

Now I can hardly walk, but my farts smell AWESOME

Why don't Korean captains wear hats?

Because they don't know what to do with cap sizes.

Dave and John are playing a round of golf...

Dave is lining up his put on the 8th green when they hear a car coming along the road that runs parallel to the course. Upon seeing a hearse, Dave stands away from his ball, takes his cap off and bows his head until it passes.
"That was very decent of you Dave."
"Yea, she was a good wife."

Two men are playing golf.

One of them is about to take a swing when a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in contemplation. Β 

His opponent comments: "That must be the most touching thing I've ever seen. You are a very feeling man."

The man, recovering himself, replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

Guys walks in to a parts store. Can I get a new gas cap for my Yugo?

The attendant replies, sounds like a fair trade to me.

A pair of Arms, a pair of Legs and a head have a swimming race...

All contestants dive in, the arms take the lead with the legs just behind, however the head has sunk to the bottom. The arms eventually win, with the legs in second.

They recover the head and they asked what happened? The head replied "I've been training for 6 months using my ears and just before we start, some c**t put a swimming cap on me"

*Edit, spelling mistake

Al Pacino's brother is steaming that his parents...

named him Cap.

A man is lying on a bench

Wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a lady, the hat would lift by itself."

How big was the iceberg that sank the Titanic?

Cap size

Two men are playing a round of golf.

The third tee is close to a road, and just as one of the players is about to tee off he sees a funeral cortège driving slowly by. He breaks his shot, lays down his club, takes off his cap and bows his head as the procession passes.

'Wow' says his friend, 'That was very respectful.'

'I suppose so' says the first man, 'Mind you, I was married to her for 40 years.'

I had this problem where the cap wouldn't stay on my whiskey bottle.

So I fixed it with scotch tape.

Why don't witches wear a flat cap?

There's no point to it

So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car.

The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.

My girlfriend is insisting on a shower cap for me.

Apparently 8 a day is too many.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cap bonnet jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cap pocket piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes