Cant Sleep Jokes
8 cant sleep jokes and hilarious cant sleep puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cant sleep that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Silly & Ridiculous Cant Sleep Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What is a good cant sleep joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why cant a Mexican man sleep with three women at once?
Fear of over dos
I woke up at the crack of dawn...
So I told her to get off my head and let me get some sleep.
Cant beat the classics.
Some Tim Vine jokes...
"I tell you what makes my blood boil..... Crematoriums."
"People with guns who say give me your money... you gotta hand it to them."
"So I went to my local department store and said I cant decide whether to buy this bed or not. He said do you want to sleep on it? I said of course I do."
"I refuse to work in the subway. Its beneath me."
"I met this girl called Ena. Everytime I see her I say Hi Ena and she laughs her head off."
"I cant remember my homing pigeon's name but am sure it will come back to me."
"Did you know the best selling DVD this year is Poltergeist? Its flying off the shelves."
"So i was reading this book about the history of glue.... I couldn't put it down."
"I love you," Bono whispers to his wife. "Oh honey," she whispers back...
..."I love you too." Bono rolls over in bed and stares at the ceiling as she drifts off to sleep. Why cant she love him for who he is and not just his band.
Why cant you sleep while school?
The light is too bright
A guy went to a therapist
Because he had constant dreams of cats playing football everyday, so the therapist asked him to eat nothing before he sleeps food might be the reason.
He came back the day after with no progression, he was still getting dreams of cats playing football.
Oh well, the therapist said, today i want you to sleep in the living room.
The patient came back with no progress, he was still getting dreams of cats playing football
The therapist told him today i don't want you to sleep at all.
The patient: i cant, today is the finals.
An old couple are vacationing in Israel...
The wife dies quietly in her sleep, the next day the man goes to the grave digger to make the necessary arrangements.
The grave digger says "I can bury her here for $500 or have her shipped back home with you for $1000."
The man briefly considers his options and opts for her to be shipped home.
The grave digger is stunned "Why pay so much to have her sent back when she could be buried in the Holy Land?"
The man gets very close and whispers "A long time ago a man was buried here and three days later he came back, I cant take that chance with her."
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[My favorite] So the parents call in a babysitter
She arrives to find the boy she is to take care of crying. Bending down she ask the boy "what's wrong?" the boy then responds "I lost my teddy bear" "Oh i can be your teddy bear" she replies and, the boy agrees. The parents leave and, time passes. "Bedtime!" the boy responds "but, I cant sleep with out my teddy" "OK ill sleep together with you". With the bed sheets covering both of the the boy says "I like to put my finger in teddys' bellybutton" "OK"..... a while passes the babysitter exclaims "UM .. UM that's not my bellybutton" the boy smiles " that's not my finger"
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