The Best 59 Cans Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Cans jokes. There are some cans boxes jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cans tin puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Cans Jokes and Puns
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"
I used to have a job crushing cans.
It was soda pressing.
A blonde...
...is at a soda machine outside a gas station. A man walks up to her because he sees she has her arms full of soda cans. She put in another quarter, and yet another soda pops out. Another quarter, another can. He finally asked her, "Why do you keep putting money into the machine? I think you have enough." She replied, "I can't help it. I keep winning!"
Cans
I work in a can recycling factory.
My job is to crush cans.
I don't enjoy it. It's soda pressing.
That half man, half horse...
Did you hear about the half man, half horse causing a ruckus downtown last night? He was kicking over trash cans, yelling at people, just going crazy. The cops finally showed up, calmed him down, and asked "Why are you doing this?" Apparently he wanted to be the centaur of attention.
How many white people can you fit in a can?
Crackers don't come in cans, they come in boxes!
So I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup today..
I'm expecting a massive vowel movement.
I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup
and just took probably the biggest vowel movement ever.
I swallowed two cans of helium today
HeHe
A man walks into a gun shop.
He looks over the guns until the cashier asks what he wants. The man couldn't decide so the cashier asked, "what are you shooting?" The man said "cans". The cashier asked, "what kind of cans?" The man took a pause, than finally said "oh you know, Americans, Mexicans, Africans."
I ate five cans of alphabet soup.....
I had the biggest vowel movement of my life.
You can explore cans trashcan reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cans gallon dad jokes. There are also cans puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
After eating four cans of alphabet soup
I had a huge vowel movement.
Ba-dum
tss
I went to the shop to buy 6 cans of coke.
But when I got home, I realised I'd picked 7 Up.
I just ate 4 cans of alphabet soup.
I'm going to have the best vowel movement.
To bring a girl home,I just whisper in her ear "You know,if i get excited,It can touch the bottom of the Pringles Can"
I can see her eyes light up with excitement and thank the Pringles company for introducing the new Snack size cans.....
Two rednecks are admiring their firearms.
One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
I just ate four cans of alphabet soup...
...and just had the largest vowel movement ever.
I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday.
Then, I easily had the biggest vowel movement ever.
A group of teenagers robbed our local supermarket and stole 180 cans of red bull.
I don't know how these people can sleep at night.
Why was the man who crushed recycled pop cans for a living sad with his life?
Because his job was soda pressing.
I went to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite…
I ended up picking 7 Up…
Went to the store to buy 6 cans of Sprite...
Got back to the office and realized I had picked 7 up.
I ate three cans of alphabet soup for dinner...
I had a really good vowel movement the next day.
To the Scumbag that stole 300 cans of RedBull from my shop,
I don't know how you can sleep at night.
ISIS has reportedly starting putting bombs in cans of alphabet soup
If any go off, it could spell disaster
I bought 6 cans of Sprite from the shop today..
But when I got home I realised I'd picked 7up
How much soda should tropical birds drink?
Two cans
I shoplifted 23 cans of Pepsi from the store and got arrested, but the judge dropped the charge
He knew i stole 23 cans of Pepsi, but he said that doesn't make a case.
I want to make a sad YouTube channel where I compress soda cans
I'll name it "Soda Pressing"
I got arrested the other day for stealing six cans of Sprite.
They didn't realise I picked 7 up.
I had four cans of alphabet soup yesterday.
I just had the largest vowel movement...
I'll see myself out.
I went to the shop the other day to buy six cans of Sprite.
It was only when I got home that I realised I had picked 7 Up.
A couple of guys stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our neighborhood store.
I don't know how they can sleep at night.
Someone stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our local store.
I don't know how they can sleep at night.
I wanted to buy a drink from a vending machine, but there was a guy in front of me.
I tried to wait my turn patiently, but he just kept buying soda. I stood there for a while just watching him put in some money and take his drink, over and over until he had a whole bag of soda cans. He showed no signs of stopping, so I asked him, "Why do you keep doing that? Are you ever going to give anyone else a turn?"
He smirked and replied, "You're just jealous because I've won every time!"
Why is it called "canning" if it's storing things in glass containers and not cans?
Because renaming it at this point would be jarring.
What's worse than finding 2 babies in a trash can?
Finding 1 baby in two trash cans.
I just asked Siri for a wake up call...
She sent a photo of me, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and beer cans.
I HATE when homeless people shake their cans of change at me.
I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
I had a job crushing cans, but I quit.
It was soda-pressing
My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store...
I realized when I got home that I had picked 7 up.
I was feeling really sad while crushing cans today...
It was soda pressing.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
The saddest activity in my life is crushing my Coke cans.
Its soda pressing.
(tch tch, that was lame)
My nephew came to me with a look of pride on his face.
He said uncle, uncle look what I made it's a telephone. He proceeded to show me two tin cans tied together with string.
I pulled out my iPhone and said: this is what kids your age make in China.
Blundered at the supermarket earlier, went in for 6 cans of Sprite
picked 7up
A husband and wife were grocery shopping...
He picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. "What are you doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only £10 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife. They continue shopping. Later on, she puts a £20 jar of face cream in the basket. "What are you doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. He said, "So does 24 cans of beer and it's half the price."
So, today my boss asked me to pick up 6 cans of Sprite for a meeting.
However, when I returned, I realised that I had picked 7 up instead
I ate four cans of alphabet soup
I later took the biggest vowel movement ever
Superstition
I was trimming my nails when my Grandfather said with a sigh "You should not cut your nails on Thursdays".
I had never adhered to these superstition but out of curiosity I asked, "What happens when I cut my nails on Thursday?"
He explained, "You see the weekend starts tomorrow Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's difficult to open the beer cans and the Lays packs without the nails."
Moral: Some superstitions do have a scientific basis!
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can.
Morbid humor is one baby in 10 trash cans.
Q: What is worse than 10 babies in a trash can?
A: One baby in 10 trash cans.
Last night, I was hit in the face with one of those mini beer cans
Don't worry, I'm fine. But it did leave a small brews.
True story:
I was bringing our cans in when a salt truck came down our block this afternoon, and was pretty jolted when, while driving past me, it proceeded to dump salt right on me.
My husband comforted me by saying, I'm so sorry… you were a-salted.
My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work.
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up.
As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there's no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
During the 3 days of the Woodstock festival, over 400,000 people attended
The town of Bethel had prepared beforehand and many vendors gathered there to sell food, water, and other necessities.
It's estimated that 2.7 million gallons of water was sold over the weekend,
along with 750,000 cans of beer,
100,000 hot dogs,
15,000 pounds of granola,
and a bar of soap
I went to the store to pick up 8 cans of sprite….
But when I got home I realized I only picked 7-up!
I quit my job crushing pop cans today.
It was just soda pressing.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cans crusher jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cans pepsi piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.