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Cans Jokes

122 cans jokes and hilarious cans puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cans that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Cans Short Jokes

Short cans jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cans humour may include short canned jokes also.

  1. I went to the shop the other day to buy six cans of Sprite. It was only when I got home that I realised I had picked 7 Up.
  2. I HATE when homeless people shake their cans of change at me. I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
  3. I bought 6 cans of Sprite from the shop today.. But when I got home I realised I'd picked 7up
  4. Went to the store to buy 6 cans of Sprite... Got back to the office and realized I had picked 7 up.
  5. A group of teenagers robbed our local supermarket and stole 180 cans of red bull. I don't know how these people can sleep at night.
  6. My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store... I realized when I got home that I had picked 7 up.
  7. My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work. She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up.
  8. I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then, I easily had the biggest vowel movement ever.
  9. Why was the man who crushed recycled pop cans for a living sad with his life? Because his job was soda pressing.
  10. So, today my boss asked me to pick up 6 cans of Sprite for a meeting. However, when I returned, I realised that I had picked 7 up instead

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Cans One Liners

Which cans one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cans? I can suggest the ones about aluminum can and jars.

  1. I used to have a job crushing cans. It was soda pressing.
  2. I swallowed two cans of helium today HeHe
  3. I ate five cans of alphabet soup..... I had the biggest vowel movement of my life.
  4. What's worse than finding 2 babies in a trash can? Finding 1 baby in two trash cans.
  5. I went to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite… I ended up picking 7 Up…
  6. Nice canned meat you got there Too bad it isn't allowed here, rule 3.
  7. I ate four cans of alphabet soup I later took the biggest vowel movement ever
  8. I was feeling really sad while crushing cans today... It was soda pressing.
  9. So I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup today.. I'm expecting a massive vowel movement.
  10. I just ate four cans of alphabet soup... ...and just had the largest vowel movement ever.
  11. I just ate 4 cans of alphabet soup. I'm going to have the best vowel movement.
  12. I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup and just took probably the biggest vowel movement ever.
  13. I had a job crushing cans, but I quit. It was soda-pressing
  14. How much soda should tropical birds drink? Two cans
  15. Q: What is worse than 10 babies in a trash can? A: One baby in 10 trash cans.

Soup Cans Jokes

Here is a list of funny soup cans jokes and even better soup cans puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I had four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. I just had the largest vowel movement...
    I'll see myself out.
  • ISIS has reportedly starting putting bombs in cans of alphabet soup If any go off, it could spell disaster
  • I ate three cans of alphabet soup for dinner... I had a really good vowel movement the next day.
  • After eating four cans of alphabet soup I had a huge vowel movement.
    Ba-dum
    tss
  • What did the sociopathic cannibal parachutist say? As soon as the people carrying soup cans in the backpacks arrive we can eat.
  • What do Kevin Spacey and Campbell's Soup have in common? They both come in little cans.
  • Cops be like... I can shoot Pepsi cans, Soup cans, and African Ameri-Cans
  • What happens when you eat 4 jumbo cans of vegetable soup? You have a massive vowel movement.
  • Waiter: would you like some cans, sir? Food buyer: No, but can I get a bowl a soup?
    Read out loud.
  • I lived off p**... noodles and canned soup for two years. Now I miss that level of luxury.
Cans joke, I lived off p**... noodles and canned soup for two years.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about cans can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of cans puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Amusing & Witty Cans Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about cans you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean garbage can jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make cans prank.

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"

Of course Goldman Sachs called their clients "muppets"

Some of them ended up living in garbage cans.

A blonde...

...is at a soda machine outside a gas station. A man walks up to her because he sees she has her arms full of soda cans. She put in another quarter, and yet another soda pops out. Another quarter, another can. He finally asked her, "Why do you keep putting money into the machine? I think you have enough." She replied, "I can't help it. I keep winning!"

I walked into ASDA today...

I walked into ASDA today wanting to buy 6 cans of Sprite. When I got home, I realised I'd picked 7up by mistake.

Cans

I work in a can recycling factory.
My job is to crush cans.
I don't enjoy it. It's soda pressing.

That half man, half horse...

Did you hear about the half man, half horse causing a ruckus downtown last night? He was k**... over trash cans, yelling at people, just going crazy. The cops finally showed up, calmed him down, and asked "Why are you doing this?" Apparently he wanted to be the centaur of attention.

How many white people can you fit in a can?

Crackers don't come in cans, they come in boxes!

How are Michael Jackson and Starfish Tuna similar?

They both come in little cans.

Popular joke in Ukraine

"Driver of a Russian humanitarian aid truck was beaten by Russian soldiers when tried to light a cigarette near cans with beef stew."

I went to the store to get six cans of sprite...

...But when I got home I discovered that I'd picked 7-up.

If Sam McCringle can mingle with a single bag of Pringles in the time it takes to sing a single jingle, with how many Pringles did Sam McCringle mingle?

none... Pringles come in cans

I went to the shops to get eight cans of sprite.

But when i was walking back i realized Id only picked 7 up

What is the difference between black, morbid and brutal humor?

Black humor - 12 children in one trash can
Morbid humor - 1 children in 12 trash cans
Brutal humor - 12 trash cans in one children

A man walks into a gun shop.

He looks over the guns until the cashier asks what he wants. The man couldn't decide so the cashier asked, "what are you shooting?" The man said "cans". The cashier asked, "what kind of cans?" The man took a pause, than finally said "oh you know, Americans, Mexicans, Africans."

What did they say about Baghdad after they installed too many garbage cans?

It was Bin Laden

I went to the shop to buy 6 cans of coke.

But when I got home, I realised I'd picked 7 Up.

Why does Dr. Pepper come In cans?

He's a strange dude.

I fostered a child the other day

...Got him in the back of the head with all four cans!

Did you hear about the guy who crushes Pepsi cans with a hydraulic press?

It's sodapressing.

To bring a girl home,I just whisper in her ear "You know,if i get excited,It can touch the bottom of the Pringles Can"

I can see her eyes light up with excitement and thank the Pringles company for introducing the new Snack size cans.....

Two r**... are admiring their firearms.

One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...

I used to crush cans for a living, didn't like it though...

It was soda pressing.

My friend works at a recycling centre crushing soft drink cans all day

It's soda pressing

Whenever I drink I buy 20 cans of 5% beer

That way I know I'm getting 100% drunk.

To the Scumbag that stole 300 cans of RedBull from my shop,

I don't know how you can sleep at night.

The Physics department in a university submits a request for an expensive piece of equipment

The university president is not pleased. "You people in the Physics Department always ask for money. You always need costly technologies. Why can't you be more like the Mathematics department? All they need is paper, pens, and trash cans. Or even better, like the Philosophy department, they need only paper and pens."

What's worse than 3 babies in a trash can?

One baby in three trash cans

I shoplifted 23 cans of Pepsi from the store and got arrested, but the judge dropped the charge

He knew i stole 23 cans of Pepsi, but he said that doesn't make a case.

I want to make a sad YouTube channel where I compress soda cans

I'll name it "Soda Pressing"

Which state sells the smallest cans of coke?

Minisoda

I got arrested the other day for stealing six cans of Sprite.

They didn't realise I picked 7 up.

What's worse than a baby in the trash can?

Two babies in the trash can.
What's worse than two babies in the trash can?
A baby in two trash cans.

So today I smashed my van in to the side of this blonde lasses car...

It was totally my fault, the car was a write off and the girl was very shook up, you could tell she was in shock so I told her I had a few cans of beer in the back of my van if she wanted them to get over the shock ..... She accepted, drunk a few then asked me if I was having one, I told her I'd wait until the police had been.

A couple of guys stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our neighborhood store.

I don't know how they can sleep at night.

Someone stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our local store.

I don't know how they can sleep at night.

A soda company printed Michael Jackson on all of their cans

He really is the king of pop

What's in common between tuna and Jared from Subway?

They both come in little cans.

I wanted to buy a drink from a vending machine, but there was a guy in front of me.

I tried to wait my turn patiently, but he just kept buying soda. I stood there for a while just watching him put in some money and take his drink, over and over until he had a whole bag of soda cans. He showed no signs of stopping, so I asked him, "Why do you keep doing that? Are you ever going to give anyone else a turn?"
He smirked and replied, "You're just jealous because I've won every time!"

Why is it called "canning" if it's storing things in glass containers and not cans?

Because renaming it at this point would be jarring.

I'm just sitting here all sad, crushing soda cans by myself

It's soda pressing

I just asked Siri for a wake up call...

She sent a photo of me, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and beer cans.

My wife thinks our neighbor owns tropical birds.

Ever since I said I liked her two cans.

An engineer, an architect and a mathematician are trapped in a cave with nothing but a can of food each and they want to get the cans open so that they can eat.

The engineer finds a rock and taps it against the weak spot of the can. The architect throws the can against the wall in a way that doesn't collapse the cave. The mathematician then announces loudly to the other two, Let my can be open, how do we close it?

You know where they make those little cola cans?

Out in Minisoda

I don't know which is scarier....

A clown who rummages through the garbage cans at 3am or my neighbor who watches me doing it.

If you find beans in a beanery and cans in a cannery....

What do you find in a country?

Where are those little 8oz Coke cans manufactured?

*Minisoda*

A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.

"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."

I always wondered where those little cans of soda came from until I carefully read the writing on one...

...it said, "Made in Halfcanistan"

The saddest activity in my life is crushing my Coke cans.

Its soda pressing.

(t**... t**..., that was lame)

My nephew came to me with a look of pride on his face.

He said uncle, uncle look what I made it's a telephone. He proceeded to show me two tin cans tied together with string.
I pulled out my iPhone and said: this is what kids your age make in China.

I hate my job. All I do is crush cans all day. It's just...

...Soda pressing.

Blundered at the supermarket earlier, went in for 6 cans of Sprite

picked 7up

A husband and wife were grocery shopping...

He picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. "What are you doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only £10 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife. They continue shopping. Later on, she puts a £20 jar of face cream in the basket. "What are you doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. He said, "So does 24 cans of beer and it's half the price."

Superstition

I was trimming my nails when my Grandfather said with a sigh "You should not cut your nails on Thursdays".
I had never adhered to these superstition but out of curiosity I asked, "What happens when I cut my nails on Thursday?"
He explained, "You see the weekend starts tomorrow Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's difficult to open the beer cans and the Lays packs without the nails."
Moral: Some superstitions do have a scientific basis!

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can.
Morbid humor is one baby in 10 trash cans.

Cans joke, What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

jokes about cans

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these cans jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.