Canoe Jokes
66 canoe jokes and hilarious canoe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about canoe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article contains canoe jokes that will make you laugh out loud.
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Funniest Canoe Short Jokes
Short canoe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The canoe humour may include short paddle boat jokes also.
- Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in the water.... .....you can safely wear it on your head....because it's capsized.
- Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was... ...an ether/oar situation.
- Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist said I could be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was an ether/oar situation.
- Star Wars names are just regular words if you put a random space somewhere: Mos Quito
Que Sadilla
Scu Bagear
Syn Tax
Rev Erse
Mala Mute
Trypto Phan
Cano Nical
Impo Tent
Slee Papnea - If you want to get in a canoe go ahead. If you want to enjoy the lake without a canoe that's fine too. I just don't get why row vs wade is so controversial. Can't we all just enjoy the lake together?
- SNL should parody CNN by having Tina Fey be a news correspondent delivering headlines from a canoe. They call the segment "Fey Canoes."
- What's the difference between canoeing and swimming? Row vs wade
- Saw an old lady sitting alone in her front yard; in a canoe. I thought to myself... Now there's someone who could use a good paddle.
- If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will it take to shingle a dog house? Seven because ice cream has no bones
- Why is drinking American beer like making love in a canoe?
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Canoe One Liners
Which canoe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with canoe? I can suggest the ones about paddle and boating.
- What is the most dangerous type of canoes? Volcanoes
- Got dumped because she said I was obsessed with boat puns Canoe believe that?
- I'm canoeing in Sudan, not Egypt - my map must be wrong I guess I'm just in denial
- Being in a canoe forces you to make a very tough decision. Roe vs Wade
- Why did the president and his entourage drown? "Fake canoes."
- I can row a boat. Canoe?
- Did you hear about the huge sale they just had on canoes? It was quite the oar deal.
- Did you know you can turn a canoe over and use it as a hat? Because it's Cap-sized.
- Did you know when you flip a canoe over you can wear it as a hat? It's cap-sized
- I can build things out of wood. Canoe?
- What's the difference between a baby boomer and a canoe? Canoes tip.
- what's the difference between a Karen and a canoe? A canoe will sometimes tip.
- Where does justin timberlake like to go canoeing? Crimea river
- Ever heard of a cajew? It's like a canoe, but guaranteed to never tip.
- TIL if you flip over a canoe, you can wear it. It's "cap"-sized
Cheerful Canoe Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about canoe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean boat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make canoe pranks.
What do you call 2 l**... in a canoe?
Fur traders.... Zing!!
"You're lucky..."
A blonde is in a canoe in a field of grass paddling away. Another blonde walks up to her and says, "Hey! You're that blonde that gives us other blondes a bad name. You're lucky I can't swim or else I'd be all over you!"
Ethiopian jokes I've heard from over the years.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth?
A rake
What do you call 10 Ethiopians carrying a canoe over their heads?
A comb
What do you call an Ethiopian with a club foot?
A gulf club.
So two penguins are in the middle of a desert
and they're sitting in a canoe just paddling away, as hard as they can, not going anywhere, sand is flying everywhere, and they just keep paddling. eventually one penguin looks to the other and says "Where's your paddle" the other replies "Sure does."
Its usually a thinker for most, but i love it
Two penguins are paddling a canoe in the desert..
One says to the other: "Wheres the paddle!"
And the other says: "Sure does!"
What do u call two l**... floating down a river in a canoe?
Fur traders.
Why is a Jewish canoe the best kind you can get?
Because it'll never tip
What do American beer and s**... in a canoe have in common?
F***ing close to water!
What do you call a transformer in a canoe?
A row bot
What is your best casino joke?
I work in a casino and want to hear your best one.
Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player?
A canoe sometimes tips!
What supreme Court case involved people in a canoe, stranded far from shore?
Row v. Wade
Two blondes were driving along in a car...
...when they came across an open field with another blond sitting in a canoe and pretending to row it.
One blonde in the car says to the other, "See, it's things like this that gives blonde a bad reputation, if I could swim, I would go out there and bash her".
Three men are captured by canibals
The canibals say that they will be killed and their skin will be made into a canoe, and that they can choose how they die.
The first one jumps off a rock, the second one cuts his t**....
The third one takes a fork, starts stabing himself and yelling 'NO CANOE FOR YOU!"
What's the similarity between light beer and having s**... in a canoe?
They both increase the risk of drowning.
Two Native Indians in a canoe and two Dutchman in a restaurant...
Who tips first?
Once this whole "global warming thing" melts the ice caps
We're gonna have a canoe world order.
Famous court cases
A man in a canoe and a man on foot were arguing over the better way to cross the pond.
It was a row vs. wade.
What's a Scotsman's favourite type of boat?
Ach aye canoe!
My girlfriend got mad that I wouldn't do the Titanic pose with her the other day.
I told her we can't do that in a two person canoe.
I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girl friend last week when suddenly the boat sprung a leak. We had to decide whether to try and get the boat back to shore or abandon ship.
We had a real row v. wade debate that day.
Two penguins were in a canoe, paddling through he dessert...
The first penguin says to the other;
Where's your paddle
The second one says
Yeah it does
Navy SEALs are the best canoers and make the best headshot photographs
Of some poor b**...'s head being blown off in the shape of a canoe.
What should you do if you catch fire on a canoe?
Stop, drop, and row.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly a canoe paddle up someone's a**...
Two women are standing on a bridge...
Emily and Katy are standing on a bridge when Emily says, "Have you ever wanted to pee over the bridge like guys do?"
And Katy says, "You know what, I think I will."
So she lifts her leg over the edge of the bridge and says, "Check it out, I'm gonna pee right down into that canoe."
Emily looks at the water and says, "That's not a canoe, that's your reflection."
They say that Bud Light is like s**... in a canoe
If you offer it to a girl in a bar, she's likely to be disgusted.
Two men were setting off to canoe
As two men were just about to set off on a canoeing trip.
One man turned to the other and said.
"Hey could you hand me that paddle?"
The other man lifted the two "This one?"
"Either oar"
A blonde woman is driving through the countryside when she spots another blonde woman sitting in a canoe in the middle of a field, trying to row through the grass.
Feeling very angry she pulls over her car, stomps over to the fence, and calls out to the woman in the canoe. It's women like you who make blondes look s**.... If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your a**...!
Hiking
Two women are hiking in the wilds, and they arrive at a chasm over a river with an old bridge. One of the women announces she needs to pee and proceeds to drop her drawers, but before she begins, she looks down and exclaims in a startled voice, "There is a canoe below me full of moose meat!"
The other woman looks over the side of the bridge and says, "Oh silly, that's just your reflection in the water."
My daughter told me she wanted to go on an expensive vacation to Norway to travel inland on a small boat along the narrow water passages with steep cliffs on either side…
I said hmmm… canoe fjord it??
3 men are captured by a group of Indians
The Indians tell the men were going to kill you, skin you, and turn your skin into canoes. You have 3 options, we can burn you, drown you, or hang you.
First guy says, hang me. So they hang him, skin him, turn him into a canoe.
Second guy says, down me. So they drown him, skin him, turn him into a canoe.
Third guy says, I have 1 wish. A fork. So they bring him a fork. He clasps the fork in his hand and says, I don't care how you kill me… he starts vigorously stabbing himself …but to h**... with your canoe!
Canoeing
Bob: You get a great deal of amusement out of your new canoe, I suppose?
Joe: Well, my wife does.
Bob: But she never rides in it!
Joe: No. She says it's safer and funnier to watch me from the shore.
Source: 1913 Newspaper
