The Best 58 Canoe Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Canoe jokes. There are some canoe raft jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these canoe canoe knock knock puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Canoe Jokes and Puns
I can build things out of wood.
Canoe?
My favorite "clean" Jewish jokes
* Q. What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
* A. A canoe will eventually tip
* Q. What does a Jewish pedophile say?
* A. Hey kid want to buy some candy?
* Q. A Jew with an erection walks into a wall, what happens?
* A. Breaks his nose
* Q. How was copper wire invented?
* A. Two Jews fighting over a penny
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur traders.... Zing!!
"You're lucky..."
A blonde is in a canoe in a field of grass paddling away. Another blonde walks up to her and says, "Hey! You're that blonde that gives us other blondes a bad name. You're lucky I can't swim or else I'd be all over you!"
Ethiopian jokes I've heard from over the years.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth?
A rake
What do you call 10 Ethiopians carrying a canoe over their heads?
A comb
What do you call an Ethiopian with a club foot?
A gulf club.
So two penguins are in the middle of a desert
and they're sitting in a canoe just paddling away, as hard as they can, not going anywhere, sand is flying everywhere, and they just keep paddling. eventually one penguin looks to the other and says "Where's your paddle" the other replies "Sure does."
Its usually a thinker for most, but i love it
Two penguins are paddling a canoe in the desert..
One says to the other: "Wheres the paddle!"
And the other says: "Sure does!"
What do u call two lesbians floating down a river in a canoe?
Fur traders.
Why should you paint a canoe black? NSFW
So that it never tips
I can row a boat.
Canoe?
Why is a Jewish canoe the best kind you can get?
Because it'll never tip
You can explore canoe skins reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean canoe motorboat dad jokes. There are also canoe puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why do people paint their canoe black?
so it won't tip
Why is drinking American beer like making love in a canoe?
I just bought a new speedboat...
...well, actually, it's a canoe. I just smoke a lot of meth in it.
What do American beer and sex in a canoe have in common?
F***ing close to water!
If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will it take to shingle a dog house?
Seven because ice cream has no bones
How do you prevent a canoe from tipping?
Paint it black.
What do you call a transformer in a canoe?
A row bot
What is your best casino joke?
I work in a casino and want to hear your best one.
Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player?
A canoe sometimes tips!
What supreme Court case involved people in a canoe, stranded far from shore?
Row v. Wade
Two blondes were driving along in a car...
...when they came across an open field with another blond sitting in a canoe and pretending to row it.
One blonde in the car says to the other, "See, it's things like this that gives blonde a bad reputation, if I could swim, I would go out there and bash her".
Three men are captured by canibals
The canibals say that they will be killed and their skin will be made into a canoe, and that they can choose how they die.
The first one jumps off a rock, the second one cuts his throat.
The third one takes a fork, starts stabing himself and yelling 'NO CANOE FOR YOU!"
Question: What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe?
Question: What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe?
Answer: One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood.
What's the similarity between light beer and having sex in a canoe?
They both increase the risk of drowning.
Two Native Indians in a canoe and two Dutchman in a restaurant...
Who tips first?
Once this whole "global warming thing" melts the ice caps
We're gonna have a canoe world order.
SNL should parody CNN by having Tina Fey be a news correspondent delivering headlines from a canoe.
They call the segment "Fey Canoes."
Famous court cases
A man in a canoe and a man on foot were arguing over the better way to cross the pond.
It was a row vs. wade.
Man walks into work holding a canoe
Man walks into work holding a canoe.
Co worker: "Nice canoe - what brand is it?"
Man: "I just bought it - it's brand canoe."
I argued with my wife during a long canoe trip.
It was quite a row.
Ever heard of a cajew?
It's like a canoe, but guaranteed to never tip.
I'm canoeing in Sudan, not Egypt - my map must be wrong
I guess I'm just in denial
What do you call an Irishman in a canoe?
A rotator.
What's a Scotsman's favourite type of boat?
Ach aye canoe!
My girlfriend got mad that I wouldn't do the Titanic pose with her the other day.
I told her we can't do that in a two person canoe.
I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girl friend last week when suddenly the boat sprung a leak. We had to decide whether to try and get the boat back to shore or abandon ship.
We had a real row v. wade debate that day.
Fishing is fun and completely natural.
.
.
.
.
.
Spending all day alone in a canoe is a lot more rewarding now that I've learned to master bait.
Two penguins were in a canoe, paddling through he dessert...
The first penguin says to the other;
Where's your paddle
The second one says
Yeah it does
What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a canoe.
One wants to steal your money and the other generously tips.
Lite beer is like making love in a canoe.
They're both f***ing close to water!
I once masturbated in a canoe
Until I got fapsized
I can't think of any boat puns...
Canoe?
Navy SEALs are the best canoers and make the best headshot photographs
Of some poor bastard's head being blown off in the shape of a canoe.
What should you do if you catch fire on a canoe?
Stop, drop, and row.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly a canoe paddle up someone's ass
Two women are standing on a bridge...
Emily and Katy are standing on a bridge when Emily says, "Have you ever wanted to pee over the bridge like guys do?"
And Katy says, "You know what, I think I will."
So she lifts her leg over the edge of the bridge and says, "Check it out, I'm gonna pee right down into that canoe."
Emily looks at the water and says, "That's not a canoe, that's your reflection."
Two women are standing on a bridge
One woman says to the other You know.. I always wanted to pee outside the way men do
The other woman goes Go head nobody's around!
So she hikes her skirt up and squats over the water and says Come here I'm a gonna pee right there in that canoe!
She says That's not a canoe it's your reflection
They say that Bud Light is like sex in a canoe
If you offer it to a girl in a bar, she's likely to be disgusted.
Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in the water....
.....you can safely wear it on your head....because it's capsized.
Two men were setting off to canoe
As two men were just about to set off on a canoeing trip.
One man turned to the other and said.
"Hey could you hand me that paddle?"
The other man lifted the two "This one?"
"Either oar"
A blonde woman is driving through the countryside when she spots another blonde woman sitting in a canoe in the middle of a field, trying to row through the grass.
Feeling very angry she pulls over her car, stomps over to the fence, and calls out to the woman in the canoe. It's women like you who make blondes look stupid. If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your ass!
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist said I could be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle.
So I guess it was an ether/oar situation.
Saw an old lady sitting alone in her front yard; in a canoe. I thought to myself...
Now there's someone who could use a good paddle.
Did you know when you flip a canoe over you can wear it as a hat?
It's cap-sized
Did you know you can turn a canoe over and use it as a hat?
Because it's Cap-sized.
Hiking
Two women are hiking in the wilds, and they arrive at a chasm over a river with an old bridge. One of the women announces she needs to pee and proceeds to drop her drawers, but before she begins, she looks down and exclaims in a startled voice, "There is a canoe below me full of moose meat!"
The other woman looks over the side of the bridge and says, "Oh silly, that's just your reflection in the water."
My daughter told me she wanted to go on an expensive vacation to Norway to travel inland on a small boat along the narrow water passages with steep cliffs on either side…
I said hmmm… canoe fjord it??
What's the difference between a baby boomer and a canoe?
Canoes tip.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the canoe stabs jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working canoe rowboat piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.