cannons Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious cannons puns

A grammar nazi pirate is sailing his ship getting ready to attack an enemy ship...

when one of his men comes up to him and hollers:

*"The cannons be ready, Captain!"*

The Captain looks at him and says:



Pirate: The cannons be ready, captain.

Captain: Are.


Why are the majority of firefighters men?

They've been training with fluid launching cannons since the day they were born.

I'll show myself out.


Why are there ornamental cannons on the state house lawns?

They are a monument to the state employees. They don't work and are impossible to fire.


A captain and his crew are standing on their boat...

...when suddenly another boat comes along, and they don't look too nice. "Get me my red shirt!", says the captain to one of the crew. "Why, sir?" the man responds. "Because if I get shot, they won't see the blood, because it will blend in with the shirt!" "Good idea, captain! I'll get the shirt right away!" Eventually, the violent-looking boat ends up sailing off, not being too violent after all. However, later that night, 5 boats, all armed with many cannons on their side, come to surround the captain's ship. "You there," the captain yells, "get me my brown pants!"


A deckhand comes up to the pirate captain.

"The cannons be ready, Captain," he reports.

*"Are,"* the captain scornfully replies.


Captains Pants (one of my favorites)

One day, a scout on a small ship sees another equally sized ship on the horizon.

He tells the captain that the ship looks hostile, so the captain orders everyone on board to ready the cannons.

He then tells the scout to bring him his red shirt so that way his blood will not show and the men on board will continue to fight and not be afraid if he was injured.

After a long and weary battle, the day is won.

The very next day, 10 ships appear on the horizon, and the scout tells the captain.

The entire crew waits to here what he has to say.

Staring at the approaching ships the captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."


The Fearsome Pirate

The most fearsome pirate captain on the seven seas is sailing through the Bermuda Triangle when suddenly his first mate comes up next to him and says "Sir, one of the King's ships has been sighted over the horizon. They're armed and we should be ready for battle."

The captain turns around and replies "Aye, thank you matey. Ready the cannons and bring me my red jacket."

The first mate is confused and asks the captain why he needs a red jacket. The captain replies "Arr, if I am shot and the crew sees that I'm bleeding they're liable to be afraid."

The first mate admires the captain's bravery, so he goes off to the captain's quarters to fetch his jacket. Once he comes above deck to find the captain, however, he realizes that just visible on the horizon is an enormous armada of ships - hundreds and hundreds of Royal Navy vessels coming towards them from every possible direction. They are completely surrounded.

The captain whispers to him:

"Aye, matey, find me brown pants."


I shot two camera lenses out of two cannons into each other at high speed...

...I wanted to make a kaleidoscope


Why was the Sentinel army so useless during the War of Betony?

The cannons were too heavy, so all three garbage scows sunk.


Pirate Goes Up To His Captain As They're About To Raid A Ship

The pirate says, "The cannons be ready, Cap'n!"

The Captain says, "*Are.*"


What are the most funny Cannons jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Cannons? Well, here are the best Cannons dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Cannons pick up lines to share with friends.


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