Cannon Jokes

41 cannon jokes and hilarious cannon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cannon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Cannon Short Jokes

Short cannon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cannon humour may include short canon jokes also.

  1. My circus hired what has to be the world's worst human cannon ball. Unfortunately he's unionised so we can't even fire him.
  2. The Military recently announced the adoption of gender-neutral pronouns for all members. Members will be allowed to choose from three options:
    * Cannon-fodder
    * Expendable
    * Dead
  3. Why are the majority of firefighters men? They've been training with fluid launching cannons since the day they were born.
    I'll show myself out.
  4. Why are there ornamental cannons on the state house lawns? They are a monument to the state employees. They don't work and are impossible to fire.
  5. A deckhand comes up to the pirate captain. "The cannons be ready, Captain," he reports.
    *"Are,"* the captain scornfully replies.
  6. Nick Cannon one tried gifting Mariah Carey a parcel of land for the holidays but she wasn't happy. She told me, I don't want a lot for Christmas.
  7. I once fired a cannon off a cliff Looking back, using a cannonball would probably have been better.
  8. Tchaikovsky, you cannot use instruments of war as musical instruments Tchaikovsky: I cannon I will
  9. What do you call a camera that shoots out true facts about an ancient Phoenician city? A Canon, Canaan-canon cannon...
    (I'm not sorry...)
  10. Star Wars Fans Want The Last Jedi To Be Removed From The Star Wars Cannon They are Separatists!

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Cannon One Liners

Which cannon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cannon? I can suggest the ones about canyon and canal.

  1. Pirate: The cannons be ready, captain. Captain: Are.
  2. What happens when you shoot Napoleon with a cannon? He becomes Napoleon Blownaparte.
  3. What does both a cannon and canon have in common? They can both kill ships.
  4. old artillery was made of iron, not steel it's cannon
  5. What kind of equipment did the the pirate's photographers use? Cannons
  6. My first job was as a human cannon ball I was hired and fired on the same day.
  7. What's it called when a cannon ball eats another cannon ball? Cannonball-ism.
  8. The pope fired a priest from a cannon. The priest got canonically punished
  9. What is Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky's favourite instrument? The cannon
  10. What do you call an official weapon that shoots pieces of music? A canon canon cannon
  11. Life doesn't hand me lemons, it fires them at me rapidly from a lemon cannon.
  12. If Tchaikovsky and Pachelbel wrote a song together, what would it be called? Cannon in D
  13. Nick Cannon is the new face of Radio Shack both of which apparently still excist
  14. What's the best camera to shoot with? A Cannon.
  15. What movement does a conductor conduct after eating too many burritos? Tacobell's Cannon.

Cannon joke, What movement does a conductor conduct after eating too many burritos?

Howlingly Hilarious Cannon Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about cannon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean camera jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cannon pranks.

I'm not having much luck with jobs lately.

I wasn't suited to be a tailor.
The muffler factory was just exhausting.
I couldn't cut it as a barber.
I didn't have the patience to be a doctor.
I wasn't a good fit in the shoe factory even though I put my soul into it.
The paper shop folded. Pool maintenance was too draining.
I got fired from the cannon factory.
And I just couldn't see any future as a historian.


NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.
British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements are made, and a cannon is sent to the British engineers.
When the cannon goes off, the engineers stand shocked as the chicken crashes into the shatterproof shield, smashes it to smithereens, blasts through the control console, snaps the pilot's backrest in two, and embeds itself in the back wall of the cabin.
The horrified Brits send the Americans a report of the disastrous results, along with an urgent request for suggests on improving the windshield design.
The American engineers respond with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."

A sailor walks into a bar

The barkeep asks, "How did you end up with that peg leg?"
And the pirate replies, "A cannon ball blasted out the deck and took me leg with it."
"Why do you have that hook?"
"Arrrgh! We was looting a ship and lost me hand in a sword fight."
"And the eye patch?"
"I looked up at a seagull and blimey, the scalliwag crapped right in me eye."
"You lost your eye from bird p**...?"
"It was me first day with the hook."

A Physicist, and Engineer, and a Statistician...

are attempting to fire a cannon at a target 100 meters away. The physicist takes the lead, and performs numerous calculations to determine the cannonball's trajectory. He carefully aims the cannon and fires, coming short by 10 meters. The engineer, accounting for real world tolerances and imperfections, then performs his own calculations. After carefully aiming the cannon and firing, he overshoots by 10 meters.
The statistician then begins shouting with glee that they hit the target.

There was a young French artillery officer, who had notions of grandeur, that is, until the day he stood too close to a firing cannon

He thought he was Napoleon, but he was actually blown-a-part.

Two cannonballs got married this morning.

I heard they are already expecting BBs......

Dave worked at a circus school...

Normally, he teaches kids how to juggle or do cartwheels but it wasn't all that interesting.
One day, he decides to teach the kids something a bit more exciting so he brought in a cannon.
Long story short - he was fired.

Do you know that french general who likes to fire his cannon at kitchens?

His name is Linoleum Blownapart.

So a pirate walks into a bar and sits down next to a man.

The man says, How did you get your peg leg?
The pirate says, A cannon blew me leg straight off.
The man asks, How did you get your hook?
The pirate says, I lost it in a sword fight.
The man asks, How did you get your eye patch?
The pirate says, I was looking at the clouds and a seagull pooped in my eye.
The man says, You lost your eye because of p**...?
The pirate says, Nay, it was my first day with the hook.

If there's any doubt about what parts of The Hunger Games match the books, we can be sure at least one thing is true to the series; The sound played after someone dies during the games.

That's definitely cannon.

What do you call a cannon that can't fire properly?

Projectile Dysfunction.
I'll see myself out.

A guy brags himself...

Some guy, after his wife gave birth to 5 twins, says to his doctor:
"Looks like I have a huge cannon, huh Doc?"
The Doctor the says:
"Well then you've got to clean it up, because your rounds came out black!"

Cannon joke, A guy brags himself...