The Best 81 Cannibals Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cannibals jokes. There are some cannibals cavemen jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cannibals maniacs puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cannibals Jokes and Puns

A Short History Lesson

The old missionaries who arrived in the West Indies were the cannibals first taste of Christianity

Why do cannibals never go hungry?

Because they can make themselves dinner.

Two cannibals...

Two cannibals were sharing a meal one day. One started eating at the head, while the other started at the foot. After a little while one asked "How are you going?"

The other responded, "Man, I'm having a ball!"
To which the first cannibal said "Wow your eating super quick!"

Cannibals joke, Two cannibals...

Two cannibals...

capture a fresh man. They begin eating him. One cannibal starts at the head and the other starts at the feet.
Ten minutes later the one at the head asks the other,"how are you doing?"
The other says, "oh I'm having a ball!"
And the other says "well you eat too fast."

Two cannibals are eating a missionary starting at opposite ends.

One says to the other "This guy's ear is delicious! Are you enjoying eating him as much as I am?"
The other cannibal says "I'm having a ball."

2 cannibals...

...are eating. One turns the other and says "You know, I really don't like my sister." The other cannibal replies "Fine then, try the pot pie."

What do cannibals like to drink in the morning?

A cup of Joe.

Cannibals joke, What do cannibals like to drink in the morning?

What's the definition of "trust"?

Two cannibals doing 69.

What is the ultimate definition of trust?

Two cannibals going down on each other

Three men shipwreck on an island known for cannibals.

As they wander the jungle they are captured by these cannibals and put in a cage. The biggest and ugliest cannibal approaches the cage and says
"Now we're fun loving cannibals and we like to play games. We'll give you a chance to escape for our amusement, with one item of your choice. If you get to the beach, then you'll be taken back to society. If you fail we shall kill you, skin you, eat you, and turn you into a canoe. Good luck."
The first man wants to go the traditional route and chooses a gun. As he runs to the beach, he runs out of ammo and the cannibals catch him, skin him, eat him, and turn him into a canoe.
The second man asks for a horse. They begrudgingly give him their only horse, and he rides towards the beach, but the cannibals spear him off the horse and skin him, eat him, and turn him into a canoe.
The third man asks for a fork. The cannibals give him a funny look and fetch him a fork. The man begins to stab himself all over. The cannibals ask him why he's making their job easier and he yells
"Try and make a canoe out of me now!"

You know why cannibals don't eat divorced women?

They're bitter.

β€” Garrison Keillor

You can explore cannibals nymphomaniacs reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cannibals pygmies dad jokes. There are also cannibals puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why do cannibals like Mormons?

free delivery.

Why aren't lions cannibals?

They can't swallow their pride.

So this atheist explorer is in trouble...

...with a tribe of savage cannibals. He's cornered with no possible way out when he exclaims in his desperation 'God, I'm screwed!'

Suddenly the clouds part and a booming voice says 'No son, you are not. Take that rock near your right foot and throw it at that old cannibal with the large headdress!'

The explorer obeys, and the chief of the tribe lies dead on the ground.

The voice says 'NOW you're screwed!'

What do cannibals get when they are late for dinner?

The cold shoulder

Why do cannibals hate Transgender people?

Too much trans fat

Cannibals joke, Why do cannibals hate Transgender people?

TIL Supreme Court judge kidnapped by cannibals in the Caribbean!

Justice was served.

Two cannibals are settling down to have a meal...

.... They agree that it is best if each of them start at one end of the corpse. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asks "how's it going down there?"

The other replies: "oh, I'm having a ball over here..."

The first yells: "Oi, slow down, you're eating too fast!"

Two jungle explorers got captured by cannibals...

Now they find themselves in a giant cauldron full of water over an open fire. The water is getting warmer and warmer and both of them realize they're done for. So they're sitting there not sure what to do when one of them lets out a chuckle. "how could you laugh at a time like this?" says the other one, "we're both about to die!".

"I know...but I just peed in their soup."

Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer

One turns to the other and asks, "*does this taste funny to you?*"

The other responds, "*no.*"

People say cannibals are disgusting human beings

But this one tastes pretty good

Two cannibals are eating this guy....

One of them ask, "So, you having fun?". The other one says "Yeah. I'm having a ball."

How do cannibals pick up women?

With a fork

These Mexican cannibals accidentally...

These Mexican cannibals accidentally kill a priest for their meal. One of the guys asks the cook "ay, what's for dinner?"

The cook says "tacos al pastor"

What do cannibals put in their soup?



Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.

When someone botched a joke.

Teacher: "Two cannibals are eating a clown. One clown says to the other 'does this taste funny?' "

Class: "umm"

Me to friend: "that was like a dead baby..."

Friend: "what?"

Me: "poor delivery"

This is probably the first joke I actually came up with myself. It felt good.

Say what you want about Cannibals

but they have a great taste in people.

Two cannibals are enjoying dinner.

One compliments the other, "I say, Bill, your wife really makes a great meal."

Did you hear about the missionary who went to visit the cannibals?

He gave them their first taste of Christianity.

Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.

Cannibal 1: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Cannibal 2: "Not at all, and there's plenty to go around!"

How do cannibals get ready in the morning?

Just like anyone else they wakee up, get out of bed, put on their pants and eat breakfast, one leg at a time.

Two cannibals get in a barfight

One says to the other ***You want a piece of me??***

What is a cannibals favorite restaurant?

Five Guys

Amy Schumer is so unpopular now

No one has even bothered to repost the two cannibals joke in months.

What do racist cannibals like to add to their soup?

A handful of crackers.

You know who really hates spoiled children?


When cannibals don't feel like eating an entire person, which menu do they order from?

The Kids Menu

Two cannibals are sitting around a campfire.

One says to the other, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other says, "Then just eat the vegetables."

Two cannibals are eating Jeff Dunham.

One turns to the other and says "does this taste funny?"
The other cannibal says "No".

What do cannibals call unvaccinated children?

Organic food

A group of cannibals started a potluck....

Their slogan is "Bring a friend."

What do cannibals call pregnant women?

Kinder surprise

I work in a restaurant that only serves cannibals.

I'm head chef.

What's the definition of trust?

Two gay cannibals giving each other a blow job

When I joined the army to fight the cannibals, I was a fresh recruit.

But by the end I was a seasoned veteran

Say what you will about cannibals...

...but they're always eager to serve their guests

Two cannibals had captured and killed a clown.

They decided to make a laughing stock out of him.

Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.

One says, "Does this taste funny?".

The other says, "No".

What's a Japanese cannibals favourite food?


What do cannibals use to freshen their breath?

Men toes

Two cannibals stumble upon a corpse

They decide to eat the body. One started at the head while the other began with the feet. As they were eating, the face eater asks the other, How's it going?

The foot chewer replies I am having a ball.

Slow down, you're eating too fast ο»Ώ

What do cannibals eat when they're broke?

Raw men

Two cannibals are eating Amy Shumer's body

One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

The other replies: "no, not at all."

Two cannibals were eating an entitled kid

One says to the other," Does this taste a bit spoiled?"

What do Asian cannibals eat?

Raw men

Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.

the first one says to the other, "does this taste funny to you?"

the other one answers, "no."

What do cannibals call it when they are roasting a blonde for dinner?

A Barbie Q.

What do cannibals serve at the beginning of a dinner party?


Why don't Japanese cannibals cook their food?

Because they prefer ramen.

Where do cannibals go to eat deep fried food?

The battered women's shelter

How do cannibals freshen their breath?

Men toes.

Dark humor warning: What do cannibals call children?

The snack that smiles back

Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer

One looks to the other and says,

does this taste funny to you?

and the other says no

How many cannibals does it take to screw in one light bulb?

I have no clue but you really shouldn't be in the dark with cannibals.

Two cannibals meet one day.

The first cannibal says, You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. Just can't seem to get them tender.

The second cannibal asks, What kind of missionary do you use?

The first replies, You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around their waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads.

Ah, ha! the second cannibal replies, No wonder… those are friars!

Why can't cannibals have friends?

They aren't allowed to play with their food

What do cannibals on a budget eat?

Raw Men noodles

I went to a cannibals wedding last weekend.

All was going well, until they decided to toast the Bride and Groom.

2 Cannibals are eating Amy Schumer

Cannibal 1: Does this taste funny to you?

Cannibal 2: No.

two cannibals were eating a guy.

one says 'to be fair you start at the head I'll start at the feet." halfway through he says "how's it going?"
the other guy says "I'm having a ball."
first one says "you're eating too fast."

The chief editor of the New York Times is traveling in the Amazon jungle

He travels deep into the jungle hoping to write a story about a tribe of cannibals.

After a couple of weeks he finally locates the tribe and starts spying on them from behind some trees.

He feels a tap on the shoulder and he quickly gets captured and finds himself tied up and looks down and sees a spit with glowing coals warming up below him.

He screams for mercy and says You don't understand, I'm the chief editor of the New York Times!! .

The head cannibal replied, relax…

Soon you'll be the editor in chief…

Guess what two cannibals did for dinner in Prague?

They split the Czech!

What did the cannibals eat in Tokyo?


Two cannibals are eating a clown.. One looks at the other one and asks

Does this taste funny to you??

Two cannibals are eating a clown

Then one asks the other does something taste funny to you?

Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer

One of them says. "Hey man doesn't this taste a bit funny".

The other cannibal says. "Nope".

Why did the cannibals go to the crematorium?

To get a cup of instant soup

What kind of contractors do cannibals like?

Seasoned professionals

The definition of trust is

The definition of trust is two cannibals doing 69

cannibals aren't very friendly

they are fed up with all the ppl ✨

How do cannibals start their day?

With a cup of Joe

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cannibals piranha jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cannibals cherries piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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