The Best 66 Cannibal Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cannibal jokes. There are some cannibal luncheon jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cannibal eat puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cannibal Jokes and Puns

What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?

Nothing, he's gladiator.

What did Spartacus say to the cannibal who killed his wife.

Nothing, he's Gladiator.

I saw a cannibal at the nursing home the other day, he was walking around making fun of all the residents. I realized then that I actually had something in common with him.

I too find vegetables to be tastier if I roast them first.

Cannibal joke, I saw a cannibal at the nursing home the other day, he was walking around making fun of all the resi

What did the late arriving cannibal receive at the dinner party?

The cold shoulder.

Two cannibals are eating a missionary starting at opposite ends.

One says to the other "This guy's ear is delicious! Are you enjoying eating him as much as I am?"
The other cannibal says "I'm having a ball."

What happens to the cannibal who is late to the party?

He gets the cold shoulder.

Two clowns are eating a cannibal.

The first clown says to the second "I think we're doing this joke wrong".

Cannibal joke, Two clowns are eating a cannibal.

You know why cannibals don't eat divorced women?

They're bitter.

β€” Garrison Keillor

What's the first thing a cannibal does in the morning?

Grab a cup of joe.

A cannibal passed his brother in the woods.

What happened when the cannibal was late to the dinner party?

He got the cold shoulder.

You can explore cannibal dahmer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cannibal carrion dad jokes. There are also cannibal puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do cannibals get when they are late for dinner?

The cold shoulder

A cannibal ate an optimist once

He couldn't quite keep him down.

What do you call a cannibal who only eats coma patients?

A vegetarian.

A cannibal in a courtroom

Representing himself, the cannibal was asked by the judge if he had anything to say.

"If the quote "You are what you eat" is true then I am an innocent man."

A cannibal passed his friend in the woods.

Cannibal joke, A cannibal passed his friend in the woods.

Never have unprotected sex with a cannibal.

Or next thing you know, you'll have a baby in the oven.

Two cannibals are settling down to have a meal...

.... They agree that it is best if each of them start at one end of the corpse. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asks "how's it going down there?"

The other replies: "oh, I'm having a ball over here..."

The first yells: "Oi, slow down, you're eating too fast!"

What do you call a war between two cannibal tribes?

A food fight.

What's the best thing about being a cannibal in a coma ward?

Fresh vegetables.

Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer

One turns to the other and asks, "*does this taste funny to you?*"

The other responds, "*no.*"

The cannibal was late to dinner

He was given the cold shoulder

What is a Cannibal?

Someone who is fed up with people.

What did the cannibalistic lion do?

Swallow his pride.

Why did the cannibal only eat coma patients?

The doctor said he needed more vegetables in his diet.

A cannibal showed up late to the luncheon

His friends gave him the cold shoulder.

Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant?

Because he got cold feet.

An inmate went messing, and his cellmate, a cannibal, claimed he had eaten him

The warden didn't believe him, so the cannibal finally threw up his hands out of frustration.

What does the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend


I heard this from my 11 year old cousin, the look on his mom's face after he told me this made my day.

Two cannibals are enjoying dinner.

One compliments the other, "I say, Bill, your wife really makes a great meal."

Two clowns are eating a cannibal...

One turns to the other and says "Bob, I think we are telling this joke wrong..."

How do you help a cannibal?

By giving him a hand.

Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.

Cannibal 1: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Cannibal 2: "Not at all, and there's plenty to go around!"

What do you give a cannibal that shows up late to dinner?

A cold shoulder.

What is a cannibals favorite restaurant?

Five Guys

How does a cannibal say hello?

He offers you a handshake.

What did the cannibal say to 2 Mexicans?

I thought I'd eat both of you but I only have room for Juan

A cannibal dumped his girlfriend.

And then flushed.

What happens when a lion becomes a cannibal?

He swallows his pride...

What happened when the cannibal was late for lunch?

He was given the cold shoulder.

Why won't cannibalistic children eat homosexuals and cripples?

Because kids don't like to eat fruits and vegetables.

Two cannibals are sitting around a campfire.

One says to the other, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other says, "Then just eat the vegetables."

What do cannibals call unvaccinated children?

Organic food

What do cannibals call pregnant women?

Kinder surprise

A police officer was assigned to hunt a dangerous cannibal on his first day on the job

All the more seasoned officers had already been eaten

What does a cannibal call a gymnast?

A well balanced breakfast.

I can't stand everyone ridiculing me for being a cannibal...

I just get so fed up with people.

Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.

One says, "Does this taste funny?".

The other says, "No".

the cannibal said in his trial - If I am what I eat..."

"Then I'm an innocent man"

What do cannibals use to freshen their breath?

Men toes

Two cannibals were eating an entitled kid

One says to the other," Does this taste a bit spoiled?"

TIL the term "cannibal" is offensive.

They prefer to be called "humanitarians."

Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer

One looks to the other and says,

does this taste funny to you?

and the other says no

How many cannibals does it take to screw in one light bulb?

I have no clue but you really shouldn't be in the dark with cannibals.

So these three clowns were eating a cannibal.

One of them said "I think we started this joke wrong."

Things that are difficult

Sometimes its hard to swallow your pride.

Unless you are a cannibal lion.

I was late to the cannibal party

So they gave me the cold shoulder

What did the cannibals eat in Tokyo?


If Putin ate a piece of shit

... he would be a cannibal

Where do you find the best vegetables to eat?

The answers are very different for a vegan and a cannibal.

What does a cannibal life coach value in their clients?


cannibals aren't very friendly

they are fed up with all the ppl ✨

How do cannibals start their day?

With a cup of Joe

My cannibal friend ate a cowboy yesterday.

He said that it tasted kind of cunchry.

What does a cannibal say when they're not attracted to somebody?

It's what's on the inside that matters

What did the cannibal get when he was late to the dinner party?

The cold shoulder.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cannibal zombie jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cannibal ghoul piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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