Canned Food Jokes
17 canned food jokes and hilarious canned food puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about canned food that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Canned Food Short Jokes
Short canned food jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The canned food humour may include short canned jokes also.
- there's two cannibals in a tree a knight in armor comes around the first cannibal says to the other "dude canned food again?"
- Waiter: would you like some cans, sir? Food buyer: No, but can I get a bowl a soup?
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Canned Food One Liners
Which canned food one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with canned food? I can suggest the ones about cans and junk food.
- What do you call a knight in a village full of cannibals? Canned food.
- What did the cannibal say when he met a fully armored knight? Argh... Canned food again?
- A woman is like canned food: one opens and everyone eats.
Canned Food Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about canned food you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean soup cans jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make canned food pranks.
During the 3 days of the Woodstock festival, over 400,000 people attended
The town of Bethel had prepared beforehand and many vendors gathered there to sell food, water, and other necessities.
It's estimated that 2.7 million gallons of water was sold over the weekend,
along with 750,000 cans of beer,
100,000 hot dogs,
15,000 pounds of granola,
and a bar of soap
An engineer, an architect and a mathematician are trapped in a cave with nothing but a can of food each and they want to get the cans open so that they can eat.
The engineer finds a rock and taps it against the weak spot of the can. The architect throws the can against the wall in a way that doesn't collapse the cave. The mathematician then announces loudly to the other two, Let my can be open, how do we close it?
A Engineer, a Chemist and an Economist get stranded on a island.
From the ship that crashed, some canned food washed ashore.
The Engineer says We need to open the cans with these rocks
The Chemist says We could blow the top off using a combination of these minerals I've found
The Economist says Ok, so let's assume we have a can opener
Three restaurant owners were arguing about their food
The first one said, "My spicy sauce is super hot! I put a bottle of pepper spray in every batch, and after just one spoon, people can't take anymore and shout for water."
The second one replied, "My spicy sauce is even hotter! I put three bottles of pepper spray in every batch, and the smell alone is enough to burn your face!"
The third one grinned. "That's nothing. My spicy sauce is so hot, that we pour it into aerosol cans and sell it as pepper spray!"
A guy goes to a supermarket to buy food...
A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and places two cans of dog food on the counter. The cashier asks, "Do you have a dog sir?" "Yes, it's at home," replies the man. "To be able to sell you the dog food sir, I must see the dog. That is store policy," says the cashier.
Next day the man goes places two cans of cat food on the counter. "Do you own a cat sir?" asks the cashier. "Yes I do, it's at home," says the man. "Well I am sorry sir. Store policy. I must see the cat before I can sell you cat food," says the cashier.
The next day the man returns to the store and walks directly to the same cashier. He has a brown paper bag in his hand. "Here," he says to the cashier, "put your hand in here." The cashier puts her hand in the brown paper bag. "It is all soft and warm," she says. "Yes, that's right," says the man, "I need to buy two rolls of toilet paper."
A Man Went Into A Supermarket...
... got 3 cans of dog food, and walked up to the checkout.
The cashier asks the man, "Sir, do you own a dog?"
The man replies, "Yes I do."
The cashier then asks, "Do you have the dog with you?"
The man replies, "No, I left it at home."
The cashier then says, "I'm sorry, but I can't sell you this dog food unless I see your dog."
A few days later the man walks into the same store, gets 3 cans of cat food, and walks up to the checkout.
The same cashier asks, "Sir, do you own a cat?"
The man replies, "Yes I do."
The cashier then asks, "Do you have your cat with you?"
And the man replies, "No, I left it at home."
Then the cashier says, "I'm sorry, but I can't sell you this cat food unless I see your cat."
A few days later the man walks into the store, this time carrying a paper bag. He walks up to the same cashier, and asks him to put his hand into the bag.
The cashier says, "It feels warm, soft, and gooey."
The man then says, "Now, can I go back and get 3 rolls of toilet paper?"
Kudos if you get the joke
A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician each have their respective problem-solving skills tested by a group of researchers. They are each placed in separate locked 4x4 cells with walls made of cement and given a can of food. They are told to open the cans and get the food out using no other outside materials. The researchers leave the three to their own devices, then come back after an hour.
The physicist is first to be checked on. The researchers find him mouthing out complicated formulas in his head. After a moment, he swings his can into a wall with the proper amount of force and at the correct angle to split the can open.
The engineer is next. His cell is covered in dents, and he is eating from the remnants of a banged-up and broken can when the researchers find him.
Finally, the researchers visit the mathematician's cell. They find him huddled in a corner, cradling the can in his arms, and muttering, "Assume a can opener, assume a can opener, assume a can opener..."
A biologist, a physicist, and an engineer are on a plane that crashes...
...and luckily they are washed up on a deserted island, along with several crates of canned food. However, no can opener washes up with them, and there is nothing sharp on the island, so the three scientists must figure out how to open the cans.
The biologist sticks the can in the water, saying, "The salt water should eat through the metal, allowing us to get to the food inside."
When this doesn't work, the physicist takes his thick glasses and holds them between the sun and the can, saying, "By focusing the sun on the can, we can burn through the metal and get to the food inside." But this doesn't work either.
The engineer picks up a can and stares at it for several minutes before saying, "Now, if we start by assuming the can is already open..."
A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and places two cans of dog food on the counter.
The cashier asks, "Do you have a dog sir?"
"Yes, it's at home," replies the man.
"To be able to sell you the dog food sir, I must see the dog. That is store policy," says the cashier.
Next day the man goes places two cans of cat food on the counter.
"Do you own a cat sir?" asks the cashier.
"Yes I do, it's at home," says the man.
"Well I am sorry sir. Store policy. I must see the cat before I can sell you cat food," says the cashier.
The next day the man returns to the store and walks directly to the same cashier.
He has a brown paper bag in his hand.
"Here," he says to the cashier, "put your hand in here."
The cashier puts her hand in the brown paper bag.
"It is all soft and warm," she says.
"Yes, that's right," says the man, "I need to buy two rolls of toilet paper."