The Best 44 Cannabis Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cannabis jokes. There are some cannabis reefer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cannabis ganja puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cannabis Jokes and Puns

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

**"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

Edit1: a typo

Edit2: thanks for the gold humorous stranger!

With cannabis being legal for over a year in canada, every province has access to weed except Quebec.

They only get oui'd

The cannabis industry...

It's a growing market.

Cannabis joke, The cannabis industry...

You know, I'm really worried about future of Kickstarter with all this talk about cannabis legalization.

Nobody wants to have to sift through even more half baked ideas.

BREAKING: Police are trying to rescue a cow lost in a cannabis field.

The steaks have never been higher.


An officer was fired for smoking cannabis and masturbating on the job.

No name was given but he was a high wanking officer.

A cop stopped a man smoking cannabis while driving

The officer asked "how high are you?"
The man replied "no officer, its hi how are you"

Cannabis joke, A cop stopped a man smoking cannabis while driving

If Clinton gets elected, federal employees will be LEGALLY allowed to consume cannabis!

If you smoke, you have to say "I did not inhale"

and if you do edibles, you have to say "I did not swallow"

I was carefully measuring out a dab of Cannabis extract for my roommate, when she said,

"Did you remember to-- Oh, nevermind; you're concentrating."

It's pretty strange, doctors are now prescribing cannabis for arthritis sufferers...

I mean, the definition of arthritis is "inflammation of the joints"

If my college's open flame rule says so

Then I guess they don't want you smoking on cannabis.

You can explore cannabis marijuana reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cannabis legalization dad jokes. There are also cannabis puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


As a muslim, I don't get why cannabis is so popular

I mean, why do you want to get stoned?

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

"A man who lays with another man should be stoned." [Leviticus 20:13]

A guy that smokes cannabis with his family is

inweeding

Why is cannabis sometimes called Arabian Crime?

It gets you stoned

In a historic day for Canada, Ontario held a Provincial Election on the same day the Senate passed the Cannabis Legalization Act.

Turnout was high.

Cannabis joke, In a historic day for Canada, Ontario held a Provincial Election on the same day the Senate passed t

Cannabis is totally illegal in Saudi Arabia...

but you can still get stoned!

You can even drop acid...

As long as it's on a adulterer's face.

If a courtroom's flora was only cannabis plants

Would that make it a high court?

Why did the cows have to flee the farm's cannabis field?

Because the steaks were high when the pigs rolled in...


What do you call it when a Cambodian dictator opens up a restaurant in his Cannabis plantation?

Pol Pot's Pot Plot Hot Pot.

A herd of cattle got into a cannabis farm and began to graze...

When asked how serious the situation was, the owner responded, "the steaks have never been higher!"

I once knew a rapper who used cannabis infused citrus as chewing tobacco

He spat some dope limes

When Canada legalizes cannabis, there's gonna be new signs on the roads

Saying "speed up".

Tomorrow's weather forecast for Canada is in, just in time for cannabis legalization

It's going to be cloudy with a chance of Doritos.

The Quoran is like cannabis.

If you burn it, you get stoned

Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds

They've left no tern unstoned

A Centrist, Leftist, and Rightist Walk into a bar

The Bartender Says "Blue Moon or Red Wine?"

"Blue Moon" says the leftist.

"Red Wine" says the rightist.

"Red Wine with cannabis oil" says the Centrist.

A cop see's a suspicious teenager driving erratically,and pulls him over

The policeman notices the drivers red eyes, and the smell of cannabis on his breath, so asks him if he's been smoking pot

The teenager says "Yeah, but I've got a prescription for it"

"What's the prescription for? inquires the officer

"Anxiety, but I only get it when a cop pulls me over"

Why did the cattle rancher give up his small cannabis farm?

The steaks were getting too high.

As a physician I can not disclose if any of my patients have long hair, smoke cannabis or wear tie die clothes..

Because of hippie privacy regulations.

Do French people smoke cannabis?

oui'd

A truck carrying cows and a truck carrying cannabis get into a car accident.

Neither party can agree on who's fault the accident was, so they hire a detective. This is the detective's first day on the job and his boss tells him, If you can solve this case you get a promotion, however if you fail you will be fired. The steaks are high.

Did you hear about the cattle farmer that experimented with feeding his cow cannabis?

The results were promising at first but it turned out the steaks were too high.

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the Bible correctly:

**"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

A study has found that people who smoke cannabis have sex 20% more often than people who don't. I can confirm this is true.

I've been having a lot more sex since I got caught with all that weed and sent to prison.

I've just spent my life savings on a cannabis farm.

The estate agent assured me it's a growth industry.

I wrote a reference letter while high on cannabis

I highly recommended him.

A stash of cannabis plants has been dumped in a local Estuary and local seabirds have been seen feeding nearby.

Bird welfare groups are investigating and they say no tern has been left un-stoned!!..

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."

Someone knocked on my door.

"Who's there?" I asked.

"Police," replied two men.

I asked them what they wanted. "We need to investigate your property for cannabis."

"I haven't got any," I said. "Now be on your way."

"Sir," they said, "what harm is there in us checking?"

"Because you might find the cocaine," I answered.

What do IT companies and cannabis dispensaries have in common?

They both regularly perform strain tests.

Police are trying to rescue a cow lost in a cannabis field.

The steaks has never been higher.

There's a new company that's planning to feed cows a diet of cannabis mixed in with their food.

They claim that the relaxed cattle produce more milk, and tender meat. The issue is that the legal costs of this are through the roof, and even the best estimates are that they won't turn a profit until 2034. The steaks have never been higher.

In the Netherlands, beef sales are falling so, in order to improve the quality of meat as well as sales, the cows bred for meat are being given cannabis plants to eat instead of grass.

It's safe to say that the steaks have never been higher

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cannabis cocaine jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cannabis pot piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes