Canine Jokes

35 canine jokes and hilarious canine puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about canine that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article contains a collection of canine jokes and puns that are sure to make you laugh. From canine teeth to paws, these doggy jokes provide humor on some common canine characteristics. Enjoy these jokes and have a good laugh!

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Funniest Canine Short Jokes

Short canine jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The canine humour may include short feline jokes also.

  1. The World Health Organisation has confirmed canines do not carry the virus and can be released from pounds. WHO let the dogs out.
  2. It was reported that Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, John Entwistle, and Keith Moon just released a number of canines from the local pound It can now be said that The Who let the dogs out
  3. You ever hear about the canine pilot from WWI? He got into a dog fight but thankfully he shook his tail.
  4. Local police canine unit got all their leashes stolen today. However, the case had to be closed due to the police having no leads.
  5. What did Grendel's girlfriend say when a dangerous canine started to approach them? Look out, bae! A wolf!
  6. My wife said it's either her or the dog. ​
    So I've got to choose between a hairy, drooling mongrel with bad breath. . . or my beloved canine.
  7. Why do drugs for small dogs have to be tested on larger ones first? All canine drugs must be lab tested before their public release.
  8. Did you hear about the canine marriage consultant? He gets paid $80 an hour to say that's ruff
  9. Where does the scientist who experiments with canine pheromones spend his weekends? In his lab.
  10. What is a canines favorite soda? A dog-ter pepper.

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Canine One Liners

Which canine one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with canine? I can suggest the ones about hound dog and dog human.

  1. What do you call an underwater group of canines? Sub-woofers.
  2. What do you call a sarcastic canine medical professional? A dog, duh.
  3. What do you call a canine with no sense of direction? A Where-wolf
  4. Why did the Pet Store owner call the dentist ? Because his canine's were loose
  5. What do you give a canine seeking meaningless validation on the internet? Pupvotes
  6. When humans pee outside It's probably the equivalent of ALL CAPS to the canine world.
  7. What do you call a Supportive Canine? A Golden Believer
  8. Legitimate question, what's that canine constellation called? [SIRIUS]
  9. What are facts about canines we must believe? Dogma
  10. Dog escaped I need to see a dentist. One of my canines is getting loose.
  11. What do you call a canine scientist? A lab lab.
  12. What's an underwater canine's favourite kind of speaker? A subwoofer
  13. How long is a dog's workday? CaNine to Five
  14. What do you call a Buddhist canine? Aware wolf.
  15. What do you call a veterinarian who specializes in canines? A dogtor.

Canine Teeth Jokes

Here is a list of funny canine teeth jokes and even better canine teeth puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Dog: I am man's best friend. Cat: I am man's best friend.
    Dog: He even named one of his teeth (canine) after me.
    Cat: Oh yeah?!!! You're really not gonna win this one...
Canine joke, Dog: I am man's best friend.

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Canine Jokes

What funny jokes about canine you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog bite jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make canine pranks.

A dog and a cat were having an argument on who is the favorite of humans

The dog says, Humans like us more. They even named a tooth (canine) after us. Naming such an important body part after us shows that they like us more.
The cat smiles and says, You're not really going to win this one you know.

Canine Names

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"

Cats vs Dogs

a dog and a cat are having an argument on who is the favorite of humans.
the dog says, "humans like us more, they have even named a tooth after us, the canine tooth. Naming such an important body part after us shows that they like us more."
the cat slowly smiles and says, "you're really not going to win this one, you know."

A shepherd owned a remarkable dog, deft at sheep herding and able to speak.

At the end of the day, after his dog had herded the flock into the pen, the shepherd asked his canine friend to confirm how many sheep were in.
"40," the dog barked.
"40? I counted 37."
"Yes," replied the dog, "I rounded them up."

Police dog

One evening, a deputy in the canine division was dispatched to the scene of a possible burglary, where he discovered the back door of a building open. He let the dog out of his patrol car and commanded it to enter and seek. Jumping from the back seat, the dog headed for the building. After lunging through the doorway, the dog froze and backed out. My friend was puzzled until he investigated further. Then he noticed the sign on the building: "Veterinarian's Office."

What do you call a drug-addicted canine?

A m**... lab!

Canine joke, Did you hear about the canine marriage consultant?